Relapse
by jato unit
Summary: incomplete . slash . EdwardxBella . JacobxEdward . Edward had always thought he'd left his potential killer behind in that hospital room. He was wrong.
1. Prologue

**AN: **Oh my! Could it possibly be? An actual Twilight multi-chapter fiction by Sami? My Oneshot muse is on vacation for the day, but says she'll be back soon with more smut. Yesssss. More pointless porn will crowd my list of stories. Anyways, for now you have this. Yes, it is EdwardxBella as well as JacobxEdward, though I will say now that the latter is more prominent and if you don't like it, well, too bad. Just don't read. However, feel free to flame me and point out your stupidity. And get this straight, there is a reason why this is rated 'M'. Possible smut later? Possible? Psh. Definite. Also, this might get a bit dark at some points. Just a warning. In any case, I hope you enjoy even if it's a bit AU. By the way, it is set after New Moon.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

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prologue

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Edward was bored. Really bored. He was so bored that he was pretty sure that sleeping would become possible for him. After all, the teacher's droning voice was so unbearably dull, monotone, and _boring_ that Edward didn't know if he'd be able to survive another second in this hell. It was so bad that he found himself trying to poke around in people's heads, sifting through the massive amount of pointless blabber that ran through the minds of all the bored human students that surrounded him.

Well, not all the thoughts were boring. After only ten minutes he'd become an expert on the theory of make-up application -- like he'd ever use that skill -- and which type of feminine products were the most effective -- yet another piece of useless information. Well, unless Bella suddenly decided to have him play delivery boy and pick up these female products. Of course he'd do it for her.

Bella was Bella and he couldn't refuse her. It was rather terrifying how easily she'd gotten him wrapped around her finger, but Edward honestly didn't mind it. He was still his own person, had free will. After all, hadn't he been the one who'd kicked Jacob Black in the shin after the boy had called him a 'lapdog'? Yes, he had been, given the werewolf quite a nasty bruise indeed. Of course Bella had reprimanded him later, but even while she lectured him about 'being nice and civil' he'd glowed with pride.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and began to flick the little dust particles that continued to collect on his desk away with his index finger and thumb. God. So bored. Not even the girls in the back, the Gossip Queens, had anything of minor interest to say. Actually they were silent for once, listening to the boring lecture on how Napoleon quickly climbed to power and then got screwed over by his own arrogance. Frankly, Edward didn't care about a little tyrant who seemed to have an awful habit of fondling himself in his portraits. What else could the hand inside his shirt be doing?

Suddenly his science teacher's voice rang through his head as he flicked away yet another piece of dust, reminding him that what he was flicking away was most likely the skin that one of these humans had shed. He quickly retracted his arm, glaring down at the little pieces of detached skin with his golden eyes. Then in one swift movement he swept his arm across the table's surface and cleaned it. Deeming it suitable for his purposes, he folded his arms over it and laid his head down, letting out a soft sigh. Maybe today would be the day a vampire actually became bored out of his skull enough to sleep. A wishful thought.

However, Edward had gotten surprisingly close to dozing off that it concerned him. Well, actually, it would've concerned him if he wasn't so damn tired. He was too drowsy to really notice that anything was out of the norm. Hell, he was so tired that he barely noticed the loud crack that resounded through the room as a meter-stick collided with the tabletop, mere inches from Edward's ear.

All heads in the classroom turned to see what had caused this sudden noise. In a matter of seconds everyone was at attention. Well, almost everyone. Edward remained still, unperturbed by the loud crack. After a few moments he shifted in his seat in order to get to a more comfortable position. He didn't lift his head until he heard the sound of a throat being cleared.

In an unusually sluggish fashion, he lifted his head up, peering at his history teacher, Mr. Brown, with a sort of dazed expression and half-lidded eyes. He let out a soft yawn and stretched a bit before slowly sitting up straight. The room was dead silent except for the occasional creak of bottoms shifting in the old school-brand chairs – which were mighty uncomfortable in Edward's opinion.

"Mr. Cullen," Mr. Brown began in a voice that Edward could only compare to a foghorn, clearly not a happy camper – and one didn't need Jasper's powers to figure that out. "I do not appreciate you dozing off in my class." He then waited for a response, but Edward just stared at him blankly. "Have you nothing to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry for so inconsiderately and disrespectfully dozing off in your class," Edward replied with faked sincerity, resisting the urge to just give the man the finger and return to his own affairs. Well, Mr. Brown must've gotten the drift that Edward hadn't meant any of the words that had just popped out of his mouth as the teacher's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Of course, it didn't take long for Mr. Brown to lapse into a lecture describing each and every one of the malefactors that sleeping during class could bring about. From the back of the room he heard someone – who he'd find very soon – think rather loudly that Edward Cullen was on his 'cycle'. Well, he certainly knew enough about tampons to have a period – not that he wanted one. Bleeding for a week straight from his unmentionables? Nuh-uh. No thank you.

Then the bell rang and Edward was about to praise God or whatever heavenly being had saved him from the grips of Satan AKA his history teacher. However, he found that he had to quickly retract his thanks when Satan's claws wrapped around him in the form of detention. Wonderful. This awful day of his just got better and better.

Yes, Edward was feeling quite irritable this fine Monday morning. Emmett certainly hadn't helped boost Edward's mood when he'd asked when the other had last 'gotten some'. In short, Edward had come very close to punching the vampire in the face, but had settled for storming off in an even worse mood. He'd avoided Bella in the halls and during classes, acting very much like the first day they'd met. After all, the last thing he wanted to do was take his irritation out on her.

But now it was lunch, the perfect time for Edward to get rid of this cloud of crackling unpleasantness that seemed to have taken a liking to him today. Picking up his books, he joined the crowds of students in the hallways, pushing through the sea of bodies.

At his locker he made quick work of shoving his books haphazardly into the small cramped space – he didn't much care for neatness at the moment – and set off to find Bella. It was rather easy to spot her, sitting in the comfortable shade of a tall oak tree in the outdoor picnic area. Pride swelled within the vampire's chest when he saw her take a bite out of the sandwich he'd so lovingly prepared for her that morning.

Ever since Edward spotted a beetle in Mike Newton's cafeteria brand salad – which he'd conveniently forgotten to mention – the vampire had insisted on making Bella lunch. Plus he got a nice feeling within him when he saw her eat whatever he'd prepared.

"Hello, Bella," he said with a grin as he plopped down beside her, much more animated than before. She turned towards him and waved, quickly swallowed the rather large bite of sandwich she had in her mouth – it actually made her look a bit like a hamster.

"Hey, Edward," she replied once she'd cleared her mouth of food. Her tongue ran along the corner of her lip, picking up a little bit of mayonnaise that had managed to make its roost there. "So, I take it that you're in a better mood now." Edward nodded. "That's good. I was starting to worry that you'd turn into me when I'm on my period." She let out a laugh and Edward blanched, looking rather sickly.

"Bella, please, restrain yourself," he said, suddenly feeling a bit sick in his stomach. Now, Edward usually didn't feel this way when feminine issues were discussed – though he preferred to avoid the topic – so he found it odd when his stomach churned uncomfortably.

Bella giggled. "Oh, Edward." She then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, earning a warm smile from him in return.

Taking another large bite, she chewed thoughtfully, feeling particularly ravenous today. However, she was not pleased to discover that with her mouth full she was unable to talk to Edward – or more importantly, listen to him. So she needed to ask a question to which he could take a bit of time to answer.

"So," she began, "How was history?" Edward sighed.

"It was incredibly dull. You would've thought that the wars would be exciting to learn about, but Mr. Brown makes everything about the subject completely and utterly boring. It's enough to put even a vampire to sleep." He ran his fingers through his hair, looking up at the sky. A bird darted across the expanse of blue. Yes, for once the sky wasn't cloudy.

"Edward!" Bella said snapping her fingers in front of her boyfriend's face, pulling his head successfully out of the clouds and back onto his shoulders. He blinked.

"What?" he asked.

"You just zoned out on me," she replied, her brow furrowing. "Are you feeling alright?" Edward let out a small laugh.

"I'm fine. Just feeling a bit more human than usual, that's all." He seemed to become a little more dazed at the end as he finished with a small sigh. Bella just chuckled softly to herself and turned away from the day-dreaming vampire, going back to work on her lunch.

Everything went smoothly for the most part. Bella ate and asked Edward occasional questions, to which he responded to before looking back at the sky. In all his years of life he'd never really noticed how blue it was, but then again, most of his life had been spent in Forks or in Alaska. However, the peace was soon disrupted.

The bronze-haired vampire frowned when he felt something wet trickle down over his upper lip. Well, that certainly was odd. It got even odder when he smelt the strong iron tang of blood. However, it wasn't the pleasant scent that humans carried. It was stronger, more acrid, and much less appealing. He wrinkled his nose and rubbed at it, trying to push that unpleasant smell away.

He then pulled his hand away and was met with quite a surprise. Gold eyes widened as they stared down at the liquid crimson that covered his hand. He wiped his other hand across his face, smearing more red upon his pale flesh.

"Bella?" he asked, voice soft with a slight hint of panic. "Could I have a napkin?" Bella, who was blissfully unaware of the torrent of blood that was streaming from Edward's nose, merely nodded, still chewing on her food as she held out a napkin. However, when she saw his bloodied hand, her own eyes widened.

"Edward?" she asked hesitantly as the vampire pressed the white napkin to his face, staining it blood red in a matter of seconds. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied, "It's already stopping." However, that was a lie as the blood continued to flow, coating Edward's hands and face in it. Soon he'd used up most of the napkins he'd packed for Bella.

"No, Edward," Bella said, her voice rising in panic as she stood up. "We're taking you to the hospital." She tugged at his arm, but the obstinate vampire didn't follow. Instead he remained seated, still holding the now red napkin to his face.

"I'm fine!" he protested. "It's just a nosebleed. I got them all the time when I was a kid." However, although he seemed relatively calm on the outside, Edward was genuinely worried. He'd never heard of a vampire getting a nosebleed.

Then time seemed to slow down. He saw Bella's lips moving, most likely telling him to get off his ass, but the sounds didn't register. All he heard was a bunch of jumbled garble. He stared at her, squinting slightly as he tried to figure out what she was saying. That's when his vision began to swim. The world spun and his stomach lurched. He doubled over, trembling uncontrollably, a pitiful groan escaping him.

Bile climbed up his throat, burning it as it went up and then back down. He scrunched his eyes shut. However, when he opened them once more he saw dark tendrils creeping in. His hands fell from his face as his lips moved as if trying to formulate words. He never got them out as he collapsed into the grass unconscious and bloody.

That's when Bella screamed.

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**AN:** Now, I'm sure you're all wondering 'What the hell?', but all will be explained in due time. So just sit back, relax, and perhaps leave a review?

-rattles tin can-


	2. Drowsiness

**AN:** Mhmm. I know that many of you are wondering what the heck is going on, but all will be explained :3 Oh and yes. I update super slowly. I know. By the way, there will be some ooc since I'm horrible with writing fanfiction D: I must improve! Plus the Twilight characters are hard for me to write. Urgh D: Bellaaaaaaa -shoots self-

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

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first symptom - drowsiness

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The steady buzzing of the climate control was the first thing Edward heard when he slowly began to slip back into awareness. His eyes fluttered open, squinting when harsh white light hit his pupils. A small groan escaped him as he brought his hand up to rub his eyes, pushing the last bits of stubborn drowsiness away. However, his mind remained foggy and his thoughts muddled. It was difficult to even form the simplest of thoughts.

He curled up, rolling from his back onto his side, causing a soft crinkling noise to rise up into the mixture of sounds. Except for the low humming, occasional dripping noises, and soft crinkling, the place was completely silent, which made Edward feel at ease, safe. His fingers ran over the wrinkled yet cottony plane he was lying upon. His lips parted as a soft sigh escaped him.

This place, this feeling of calm, seemed nearly surreal. What had happened? But more importantly, where was he? He'd shut his eyes swiftly when he found the light too bright for his tastes, so he had no idea about what surrounded him. Slowly he pushed himself up into a cross-legged sitting position, rubbing his eyes once more before opening them.

He blinked, scanning his surroundings with interest. He seemed to be in the school infirmary – he knew what it looked like thanks to multiple trips he'd had to make because of Bella's clumsiness, which he found oddly endearing. However, the room was empty save for him, which seemed a bit abnormal. He'd never ever seen the nurse leave her post before. She always seemed to be firmly attached to it – superglued?

The bed he was sitting upon creaked loudly as he swung his legs over the side. He had questions and he wanted answers. If no one was around to give them to him then he'd just have to find someone. Now, the finding process did involve walking, which he had to be standing to do. However, the whole 'standing' thing didn't go over so well.

A shiver traveled down his spine when his bare feet – someone must've removed his shoes – touched the cold linoleum floor. Everything seemed to go alright until he shifted his weight onto his legs. They shook beneath him for a moment before finally giving out beneath him. He shut his eyes, putting out his hands to keep his face from smashing into the hard floor. However, the impact never came. Instead, he landed against something softer.

"Edward? Are you alright?"

Golden eyes fluttered open when he heard the familiar voice. Edward looked up, finding that he was being held up by Jasper. How the other vampire had gotten here fast enough to catch him was beyond him – well, not really. He figured that Alice must've had a vision of him falling out of bed in a very un-Edward-like fashion. However, the other seemed to have read his thoughts as he answered Edward's unspoken question easily enough, confirming his suspicions.

"Alice had a vision of you falling out of bed," Jasper said softly as he gingerly set the other back down on the crisp white sheets. "Speaking of which, why are you out of bed? You should be resting."

Edward frowned. "But I feel fine," he protested, which was a lie. In fact, Edward felt far from okay. His stomach was doing flip-flops and he was still very tired, almost to the point of passing out. However, Jasper was no fool and saw right through the other boy's lie.

"You're not alright," Jasper replied. His expression suddenly grew grave. "Edward," he began, voice low, "Vampires don't bleed. If you had still been human then you could have died from blood loss."

Edward felt his throat go dry as he swallowed, jaw locking. He gave a small nod of understanding. Of course, the fact that he'd bled was worrying. Even he was concerned if only a little bit. Maybe there was something very wrong with him? No. That was definite. Something was most certainly amiss, but he wasn't going to bother himself with that now.

"Where's Bella?" he asked in a voice laced with worry, thoughts immediately going to her. After all, she was the object of his affections as well as his will to live. It made sense that he'd inquire about her well being and worry about his own later.

"She's fine," Jasper said in a soothing voice that helped calm Edward down, using his special ability as well. "She's with Carlisle, answering some questions." The boy sighed. "We're all really worried about you, Edward." Well, that made sense. However, Edward didn't quite like having so much worry direct at him.

"Don't worry," Edward murmured as he moved to sit cross-legged upon the bed. A small half-hearted smile flitted across his face. "It's not like I can die right?" He let out a soft forced laugh. Jasper's face remained grave.

"Edward, bleeding isn't normal for a vampire," he said, voice low just in case the nurse had decided to return and try and listen through the door. Edward knew this. Everyone knew this. The last time he'd bled was nearly a century ago.

"I know, Jasper, but…" he trailed off, looking off into space. The two boys lapsed into silence for the moment. However, Jasper broke it soon enough.

"Carlisle will be here soon. He wants to examine you." And with that Jasper disappeared, not giving Edward a chance to protest – which he tried to do; that was for sure.

With Jasper gone and Carlisle on the way, Edward had nothing to do but sit on his cot, staring at the wall, wishing that his family wouldn't worry so much about him. However, recent events had been rather odd, he'd admit that much, but he disliked being surrounded by all these concerned people. It just reminded him so much of when he'd been bedridden back when he'd still be human, when the Spanish Flu had been rapidly eating away at him as if it were a starved animal of some sort.

A flood of foggy, slightly distorted memories was threatening to come rushing out, so he reinforced the barricade that kept them locked up tight. He furrowed his brow, chewing absent-mindedly on his lower lip. A shudder ran through his body as one memory slipped through the growing cracks in his defense, flooding his nose with the unpleasant smell of antiseptic, blood, and death, the smell of that hospital, the place where the lives of his parents as well as his own had been claimed.

However, this brought up new questions. Was he really dead? Had Carlisle's bite really snuffed out the last bit of life within him, turning him into some sort of walking corpse? He shuddered at the thought. The idea was gruesome really. However, he'd bled, which must mean that there was some life kept within him if even just a little – though an awful lot of blood had come forth. Had it even been his own blood? Or merely the blood of the animals he'd killed the day before?

He sighed and massaged his temples. Thinking about all this was just giving him a headache. He was tired and just wanted to go home. However, he had a sneaking suspicion that Carlisle wouldn't let him go so readily if he came right out and said that he was tired. The eldest of the Cullens would've done examination after examination if Edward told him everything that was going on. So he didn't. Simple as that.

Edward was silent for the most part, sitting as still as a statue or a person frozen within a photograph while Carlisle examined him. He stuck out his tongue when asked to, held a thermometer under his tongue, and let himself be prodded and poked until Carlisle finally pulled away with an air of bafflement.

"There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you," Carlisle finally said with a sigh and a frown, brow furrowing in confusion. Edward just let out a tired sigh.

"I told you. I'm fine," he lied, moving to hop off the bed and be on his merry way, but Carlisle stopped him, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder to keep him from wandering off.

"Edward, have you felt different lately? Nauseous? Achy? Drowsy?"

"No," he replied smoothly, liar's mask in place. Edward then pushed the man's hand away and stood up. "I told you already. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me." He took a step towards the door, but stopped suddenly, turning around halfway to ask Carlisle a question. "Where's Bella?"

Of course she'd still be at the forefront of his mind. It didn't seem to matter that his body could be being ravaged by a microscopic enemy, one that was eating him from the inside out and turning his innards to mush. None of that even occurred to him. Honestly, the idea that he could've contracted a human ailment was just ridiculous in itself.

Ever since she'd jumped off that cliff – miraculously escaping a tragic demise – Edward had become increasingly protective of her. After all, who knew what other sorts of incidents Bella could find herself falling into – preferably not headfirst! Besides, he still felt guilty about leaving her in the first place. Honestly, he couldn't believe that Bella – sweet Isabella – had forgiven him so easily. It seemed the girl was kinder than he'd first thought.

"She's at safe and sound at home," Carlisle replied smoothly, still not convinced that Edward was 'fine'. However, he decided that it was pointless to press the matter further. Edward really was stubborn at times, enough so that he could put even a mule to shame!

Well, the doctor's answer was enough for Edward as he was out in a flash, putting his shoes on and making himself look presentable at a speed that the human eye certainly couldn't detect. Really, he had no intention of staying longer than he needed to. He made his way outside at the same incredible speed, stopping only to notice that the sky was once again cloudy and gray. Nothing too unusual there. Too bad the pretty blue sky – a very sudden occurrence as it appeared halfway through mathematics that morning, contradicting the usually accurate weather reports – had to go so soon. Really, these clouds made it seem as if it had never been sunny at all.

He shrugged, thinking nothing of the fact that he'd walked around in plain daylight – a big no-no – and had experienced none of the side-effects – sparkling for example. However, Edward would realize this minor detail soon enough and that what was ailing him was more serious than he could've imagined it.

His first instinct was to go check up on Bella, but he felt the familiar dryness in the back of his throat and the sharp twisting in his stomach. It didn't take long before his entire mouth felt like it had just been filled with sand and that every human within a ten-mile radius smelled as appetizing as a nice juicy slab of prime rib, a sure-fire sign that it was time for dinner or at least a snack.

Edward's hunting went smoothly. He caught a deer, drained it dry, and managed to finish without getting a spot of mud or blood on his clothing. Of course he had to wipe his mouth afterwards, but that was just standard eating etiquette. Plus he doubted Bella would appreciate him showing up on her doorstep with blood dripping down his chin. He was planning to visit her now that he'd fed.

It didn't take Edward long to reach the Swan residence and scale said residence to reach his final destination, Bella's room. He couldn't very well just knock on the door. Edward had a sneaking suspicion that Charlie would love nothing more that to beat him over the head with something very hard. After all, he didn't really seem to like Edward ever since the previous year's incident.

He peered into Bella's room, spying the human girl sitting at her desk, glaring at her computer, which seemed to be causing problems again. A soft chuckle escaped his lips when he saw her hit the computer a few times, curse, and then hit it some more. She only stopped when Edward tapped lightly on the glass, just hard enough to get her attention.

Her eyes flicked up and a small startled cry escaped her when she saw Edward. In her shock, she took a step back, tripping over her chair and falling into a heap on the floor. Mouth hanging open and eyes wide with shock, she lay there for a moment while Edward peered in with concern. However, the girl was neither injured nor in pain, merely startled with a heart that seemed to be beating a million miles an hour. Smiling sheepishly, she picked herself off the ground and walked over to the window, pushing it open.

She could barely get a word out before Edward gave her a sweet kiss on the lips. It was brief, but full of unbridled affection. When he pulled away with that trademark crooked smile of his, golden eyes glittering with happiness, Bella could merely stand in a daze, staring dumbly at her grinning boyfriend.

"Good evening, dearest Bella," he said as he hoisted himself into her bedroom with startling inhuman grace while his human companion collected herself. Her brain rebooted itself soon enough, springing up from its blank Edward-induced state.

"No fair. Dazzling me like that before I can say anything," she said with mock irritation, crossing her arms while pouting. Edward merely laughed.

"Sorry, Bella," he apologized.

"Hmm." She eyed him warily for a moment before the corners of her lips twitched and pulled back into a warm smile. Really, she was never able to stay mad at him very long. However, her mood soon changed to one of worry. "Are you alright? What did Carlisle say?"

"I'm fine," he replied as he strode over to the computer to see what Bella had been doing. Really, curiosity had gotten the better of him. However, it seemed that Bella wanted to keep whatever was on the screen as secret as she let out a shriek and dash over to Edward, jerking him back roughly.

"No!"

Her sudden loud protest earned a puzzled look from Edward, who had stopped in his tracks and the sound of a chair scooting back across the kitchen floor. Footsteps soon followed, stopping at the foot of the stairs while the couple upstairs was frozen in shock.

"Bells?" Charlie called up, "Is something wrong?"

Bella was quick to respond. "N-nothing, Dad," she began, starting off a bit shakily at first, but gaining her confidence quick enough as she quickly formulated a believable lie. "Jack just broke up with Alison to be with Rose, who is really dating Ever-uh-ette. Yeah. Everette."

Edward let out a soft snicker, prompting a harsh glare from Bella and a forceful nudge in the ribs.

"And Carl's cat Eddie just got chased up a tree by Bill's dog Jason," she added on quickly, smirk gracing her lips when she saw her boyfriend's expression darken and twist with unhappiness.

"Soap opera? I didn't know you watched those," Charlie said, not quite understanding his daughter's sudden interest in those dramas.

"Yeah. This one is really good. I mean. Eddie is such a cute kitty," she replied, gaze flicking over to Edward, who was pretending to ignore her, but a smile appeared soon enough.

"Well, enjoy your soap opera."

"I will. Thanks, Dad."

Footsteps resounded throughout the house as Charlie resumed his previous post in the kitchen to resume whatever it was that he had been doing. Once he was gone Edward let out a soft chuckle, wrapping his arms around Bella's waist and resting his chin upon her shoulder.

"As amusing as it was to hear you turn me and my family into characters of this little soap opera of yours, I would never let myself be chased up a tree by any sort of canine." He wrinkled his nose at the mere thought of it, which caused Bella to start laughing.

"But you would make a cute kitty. If you were a cat then I could carry you around all day and give you baths, and-"

"You want to give me a bath?" Edward asked, eyebrows going up as he interrupted Bella, who turned beet red in a matter of seconds.

"N-no!" she exclaimed, jerking away from Edward, hiding her red face in her hands. Edward pouted.

"So you don't want to shower me with affection?"

"I do! I mean-" She cut herself off with a sigh while Edward laughed behind his hand, shoulders shaking. "Now that was unfair." Edward merely shrugged and turned back to the computer.

"Now let's see what you were trying to hide from me." He clicked the mouse, causing the dark monitor to flicker to life, much to the displeasure of Isabella, who was tugging relentlessly at the vampire's arm in a futile effort to pull him away. "Hmm?" His eyes quickly scanned the webpage before him and his eyebrows went up. "You're researching vampires?"

Bella huffed and crossed her arms across her chest, frowning. "Obviously," she muttered, looking away from her boyfriend.

"Why?"

"Well, I don't know all that much about vampires when you think about it."

"You talked to Carlisle earlier didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you just ask him?"

There was a short pause before Bella spoke again.

"Because he didn't have the answer to my question."

"Which would be?"

"If vampires are really able to bleed."

Edward's expression quickly darkened. He knew where this conversation was going and he didn't like it. This topic was growing bothersome and frankly, it was irritating him, but he willed himself not to snap at Bella. She didn't deserve it.

"I'm fine, Bella. It wasn't even all that much blood," he argued, hoping that this lie would be enough for the girl. It wasn't.

"Edward, it was all over you," she replied, "Alice had to go and get a change of clothes for you because there was so much blood."

The vampire blinked and looked down at his garments. Oh yes. That's right. He wasn't wearing the same thing he'd walked out of his house with. Funny how he hadn't exactly noticed till now. It was possibly due to the sudden flood of events buzzing and replaying themselves in his brain or maybe he was just really out of it. Everything seemed to be drowning in lukewarm water, events hazy, thoughts muddled, dream-like.

"It just looked like a lot."

"Edward…"

"What?"

"You're a terrible liar."

There was a moment of silence that gave Edward time to collect his thoughts and word them properly.

"Can we talk about this another time? I'm fine now. I really don't want to talk about me." He offered a small smile. "I'm indestructible remember?"

Bella laughed at this. "Fine fine, Superman. Just don't let me catch you wearing your underwear on the outside."

"Bella…" Edward sighed, shoulders dropping in exasperation.

"Sorry. Just a joke," Bella teased as she walked over to her dresser, pulling out her PJs to get ready for bed. Seems it was much later than Edward had first thought. How long had he been out for exactly?

"Need a human moment?" he asked as he took his usual seat in the chair set in the corner, crossing his legs to make himself comfortable, arms crossed across his chest.

"As always," Bella said with a sigh of defeat. However, she grinned at Edward, who promptly felt a shiver go down his spine. After all, this sort of Cheshire Cat grin was not the norm when Bella was involved. "Of course you could always get rid of the itsy bitsy human part and we wouldn't have this problem anymore."

"Bella, sweetie," Edward said with a sigh, standing up again. He figured the subject would turn this way. "I'm not changing you till after graduation at the very least and even then I'm wary about doing it. Do you really want this sort of life?" Was it even a life? Or was it just some form of un-death?

"Yes, Edward!" Bella said as loud as she could without arousing Charlie's suspicion. "I want a life that involves you. I want to be with you as long as possible!" She paused, calming down some. She began to pick at her thumbnail as her eyes turned to the ground. "I don't want you to end your life because I'm gone. I don't want that ever to happen."

"Bella… I—"

She cut Edward off swiftly. "Promise me, Edward. Promise me that if I ever die that you'll stay alive for my sake. Please?"

"Alright," the vampire replied with obvious reluctance in his voice. Bella let out a sigh of relief.

"Good. Now I'll be right back." And with that she scurried out of the room with her pajamas and wandered into the bathroom only to come back twenty minutes later showered, in her night clothes, and with teeth brushed.

"I'm back!" she said, throwing her arms up in the air as if she had just completed a quest of sorts. Edward chuckled and flashed that trademark grin of his that made Bella just want to melt.

"Welcome back," Edward replied as he looked up from the book he was reading. Bella peered at the cover and immediately turned bright red.

"That was a gift! I swear!" she said quickly, embarrassed that Edward had found that book lying around.

"Hmm? Oh." Edward let out a laugh, entire form shaking from it. "Bella, why are you turning bright red? It's not like I've never heard of this book before or read it for that matter." He let out another laugh as he set the book, Interview With a Vampire, back on the shelf where he'd found it.

"You've read it?" Bella asked, surprised.

"Of course. It's always amusing to see how humans picture vampires, though I've found that we're mostly represented as creatures that only need two things in life: blood and sex." He shrugged. "The first is true. The second, well, I suppose that depends on the vampire doesn't it?"

If anything Bella's blush had darkened ten-fold. It wasn't like she'd actually read the book. Okay, she'd read parts of it – the good parts of course. She didn't quite understand why, but the fact that Edward had found it nestled amongst her vast collection of novels embarrassing. Plus the subject had taken an awkward turn thanks to that book. Okay. Subject change now and fast.

She let out a yawn as she flopped down onto her back, curling beneath the covers. "It's only eight o'clock, but I'm beat. Too much excitement." She rolled onto her side, peering at Edward. "Stay with me tonight?" she asked.

"Like always," Edward said with a smile as he sat down on the bed as well, causing the mattress to shift ever so slightly, a slight creak came up from the bed frame, which caused Bella to snicker.

"Edward, have you gained weight?" Bella asked, giggling softly.

"Yes, Bella and do you know why?" She shook her head. "It's all because of that pizza you fed me last year."

"Hey now. You bit that off yourself."

"But you asked whether we could eat or not. I was just proving that we could."

"But I didn't ask you to _stick it in your mouth_."

The two continued to bicker, acting very much like a married couple, only stopping when they both realized how ridiculous a thing it was to be fighting over.

"Pffffft! God. Why are we fighting about something so stupid?" Bella asked as she clutched her sides, which were beginning to hurt from laughing so much.

"I don't know," Edward said in between laughs. If he'd still be human then he'd have surely started to cry from laughing so hard.

"But, where did that pizza go?" Bella asked after the two of them had calmed down.

"Trust me, Bella. You don't want to know that one," Edward replied.

"No. Tell me," Bella insisted, extremely curious. Edward merely sighed.

"Bella, vampires can't digest their food, so it'll just sit in my stomach unless I get rid of it, which means, I have to spit it up." Bella blanched.

"You can just throw up whenever you want?" she asked.

"Well, yes. I suppose."

"I guess you really do learn something new every day." She then looked back at her clock and saw that nearly an hour and a half had gone by. Her eyelids felt heavy and she felt a yawn leave her.

"Tired, love?" Edward asked, brushing some of Bella's deep chocolate brown hair out of her face. Bella shook her head as was predictably so. She loved being able to talk to Edward at night, but her human sleep patterns usually won out in the end, unfortunately so. "Go to sleep, Bella. I'll be here in the morning. I promise."

Bella let out a few unintelligible grumbles, but soon relented, closing her eyes and letting out a soft sigh. "Fine, you win, but only because I'm tired." She held onto her pillow tightly. "Too much excitement today," she murmured, repeating her earlier statement.

It didn't take long before Bella had curled up into a tight ball and was sleeping the night away, occasionally muttering something or another. Edward smiled and began to stroke her hair fondly. He loved her so much.

"Edward…" Bella mumbled. Now this caught the vampire's attention. He let himself lay down beside her, using the space that the girl had left vacant. Out of consideration for Bella's sheets, he slipped off his shoes before going back to observing her.

He was surrounded by her sweet floral scent and the warmth of her human body. It was nice to say the least. Carefully he placed a tender kiss to the girl's forehead, not wanting to wake her with his actions, but Bella was a heavy sleeper and merely let out a tired sigh.

It must've been around two in the morning when Edward felt the same drowsiness he'd felt at school return. His eyelids began to droop, but he fought against the urge to let them slip shut. He wasn't tired. This was just a trick his mind was playing on him. It must've assumed that since Bella was sleeping that he needed to as well – which he didn't. However, keeping his eyes open became harder and harder.

'_It won't hurt if I rest my eyes for a bit,'_ he thought tiredly to himself as he let his eyes close, a heavy breath leaving him. Resting his eyes was all that Edward had intended to do, but his body had other plans. Soon enough he was in as deep of a sleep as Bella, snoring softly with his face inches from Bella's own.

Oh. Bella Swan was certainly in for a shock when she woke up.

--

**AN:** Urgh. This came out terrible. I just want to hammer a nail into my skull. Excuse my poor humor. I'm a terrible comedian.


	3. Nausea

**AN: **Haha. Okay. I figure that I might as well say this now. I'm going to China in the third week of May, so definitely no updates until I get back after two and a half weeks, which is on June 1st. Sorry, but then again. I probably wouldn't have updated then anyways. Haha.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

--

**.relapse.**

second symptom – nausea

--

_White petals twirled through the air, steadily descending towards the polished marble floor, which was already covered in a thin layer of frost. The air was filled with flurries of white. She could almost imagine the sweet almost heavenly aroma that these petals could produce. However, the air was stale and chilly. Not even a speck of sunlight shone through the windows lining the church walls. Her warm breath twirled upwards in steamy tendrils, the only sound in this dark and icy hall. There was not one single person in this place besides her. The pulpits were empty, filled only with bouquets of white lilies._

_A shiver ran down her spine as she took in her surroundings. This place was frightening and made her skin crawl. The thin layer of frost that blanketed the floor was quickly spreading, creeping up over the wooden benches, the walls, the ceiling, everything. She let out a loud scream as it crawled over her bare foot, goose bumps rushing up through her body. Reflexively she took a step back and that was when everything changed._

_The fog of chilly blue and white became a hazy mist of warm ocher and brown. The chill evaporated along with the frost, which receded so quickly that it seemed as if it had never been there in the first place. The pajamas she'd been wearing also disappeared, replaced with a flowing white wedding gown. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her new attire. It was absolutely stunning, gorgeous, made with white silk and lace._

"_Bella," a soft familiar voice whispered. She knew exactly to whom that voice belonged: Edward._

_Her thoughts were confirmed when she saw him standing by the altar, looking rather sharp – not that he didn't always look beautiful – in his black tuxedo, which contrasted perfectly with the pallor of his skin. His lips were pulled back into that dazzling smile that always seemed to leave her breathless in its wake. Bella could do nothing but gape at how handsome Edward was. A voice soon brought her back to reality._

"_Bella, go on," Alice whispered, startling Bella. Her head whipped to the side to see the pixie-like vampire sitting beside the rest of the Cullens with a broad grin on her face. She was clearly just as excited as the rest of her family – with the exception of Rosalie of course, who instead sported a sullen 'I-really-wish-I-wasn't-here' expression._

_It surprised Bella at how full the benches were now. She spied Charlie, Renee, and Phil sitting on the other side of the church, all three beaming with pride, their eyes fixed upon her. Resisting the childish urge to wave at them from where she stood, she turned her eyes back to the front._

_She took a deep breath before beginning her journey up to the altar, which really took nothing more than a few steps, her heels – God was smiling upon her today as she had not yet tripped in them, deadly as they were – clicking loudly against the floor, causing a deep crimson blush to pool out onto her cheeks. She could feel everyone's eyes upon her as she walked through the sunlight and then the shadows, stopping at Edward's side._

"_Relax, Bella," he whispered to her, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle, but reassuring squeeze. She gave a small nod in response._

"_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," the priest's voice rang loudly throughout the hall as excitement swelled within Bella's chest, heart beginning to thump erratically against her ribcage. "Do you take Isabella Marie Swan as your lawfully wedded wife?"_

"_I do," Edward replied without a single moment's hesitation._

"_And do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Masen Cullen as your lawfully wedded husband?"_

"_I-I do," Bella replied, blushing even more as she stumbled over the words. She could feel Edward chuckling softly beside her. He probably thought her inability to say the words with grace adorable and amusing, so very Bella._

_Hardly paying any attention to the words that flowed out of the priest's mouth now, Bella hung her head, staring hard at the ground, feeling the heat in her face continue to rise up. Edward could probably feel it by now._

"_You may now kiss the bride."_

_At this Bella looked up, blinking dumbly, face beet-red. Excitement crackled through the air, sending jolts through her body as Edward gently turned her body to face his. However, she did not meet his gaze, which alone was enough to make her melt into a puddle of pure gooey bliss._

"_Bella, look at me," Edward murmured. Slowly and tentatively, Bella looked up. Edward smiled reassuringly before pressing his lips to hers. _

_Suddenly the warmth that had enveloped the church was quickly sucked away, leaving nothing but that impenetrable chill. Something wet slid down on her lips, dribbling down her chin and onto her dress. Then she tasted blood, the metallic taste burned in her mouth and caused her stomach to do flip-flops. Quickly she jerked away and was met with the most horrible sight she'd ever seen._

_Screams caught in her throat as she watched the blood ooze through the fabric of Edward's shirt and roll down from his lips, which were now painted a deep red. She let out nothing but choked gasps, her body frozen to the spot. She was terrified._

"_What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked, trails of red now running down from his eyes as more bubbled up from his mouth. The blood was coming out in torrents, dribbling down onto the floor as well as Bella's gown and skin._

_The smell of rust and salt made her stomach churn and clench painfully. Bile rose up in the back of her throat, leaving behind an extremely unpleasant burning sensation. She was going to vomit at any second, but she forced herself to keep it down._

"_Bella?" Edward repeated, his voice nothing more than a barely audible whisper. His skin was even paler now, a pasty sickly white. He was starting to resemble a corpse, a bloody, bleeding corpse that she had just kissed._

_Finally she found it inside her to scream. She screamed loud, long, and hard, so hard that it echoed throughout the church long after it had died within her throat. Frantically she looked around for the Cullens, her parents, the priest, anyone who had just been in this place seconds beforehand._

"_Help!" she screamed, her voice cracking as tears streamed down her face. She was slipping into hysterics. "Edward!" She immediately spun around but found that he was no longer by her side. However, a sleek, well-polished, long black box that sat on the altar caught her attention._

_Carefully, she peered over the rim and her breath hitched in her throat. That was no box. It was a coffin, a coffin that contained the body of her beloved Edward. He looked so peaceful there, nestled in the velvet cushions, eyes closed, hands resting on his stomach. If she didn't know better then she would've said that he was only sleeping._

"_Edward," she breathed in disbelief, gently reaching out to caress his deathly pale cheek, a cheek that held no warmth. A pair of hands wrapping around her throat stopped her in mid-action. She let out a startled croak as her windpipe was crushed with incredible force. Her lungs felt as if they were shriveling up. Oxygen was no longer flowing into her body thanks to the strong grip someone had around her throat._

"_This is all your fault," a female voice hissed, dripping with malice. Rosalie. "It's you're fault Edward's dead!" Rosalie's deadly grip tightened even more and Bella felt – or rather heard – her neck snap._

--

Isabella woke up with a start, realizing that it had merely been a dream, a horrible, terrifying dream, but a dream no less. Edward was still alive and so was she, there had been no wedding and certainly no funeral, and Rosalie was not anywhere near her. Her body relaxed as a grateful sigh escaped her, hand coming up to rub her neck.

The birds were twittering outside and Bella could see a hint of sunlight peeking through her curtains. Finally, a sunny day. There hadn't been one all week – more like month – and Bella certainly thought that Forks was in need of one, or maybe it was just her. After lying there for a few minutes, she finally became aware of the weight on her chest – a weight that was not hers. Raising an eyebrow she looked down and found her vampire boyfriend – yes the one that couldn't sleep – curled up against – more like on top of – her, a serene expression upon his face.

"Edward," she muttered as she sat herself up, carefully pushing the vampire off of her, "What am I going to do with you?" He let out a soft incomprehensible murmur and merely curled up even more, burying his face in the pillow.

This wasn't the first time Bella had woken up to find Edward sleeping beside her. The first time had been quite a shock. She'd let out an earth-shattering scream and nearly tumbled off the bed, taking Edward with her. Instead she'd gotten her father to rush up the stairs faster than a speeding bullet as well as nearly giving him a heat attack. Bella clumsily had to toss her comforters, pillows, and sheets over the sleeping vampire and give her father a lame excuse about seeing a spider while keeping him out of her room.

After convincing Charlie, she'd quite literally thrown Edward out of her bed, promptly waking the boy up, who stared at her with a dazed and confused expression. It had probably been the only time she would see a disoriented Edward Cullen with his cheeks puffy from sleep and hair mussed up.

The next day her reaction was more or less the same, waking up with a scream, telling Charlie she'd seen another spider, and tossing Edward out of her bed, who certainly was not happy with hitting the wood floor for the second time that week. By the third time Bella had grown accustomed to waking up with Edward snoring beside her and instead gently nudged him until he rolled off the side of the bed. That time it was his own damn fault.

This was the fifth time that Edward had crawled into bed with her and fallen asleep there, looking serene and innocent. However, this bothered Bella, but not because he was in her bed – Edward was more than welcome there – but the fact that he'd fallen asleep. She remembered him telling her that vampires could not sleep, yet he seemed perfectly capable of doing that and snoring – his only imperfection albeit it being very soft – at the same time.

"Edward," she said softly in his ear, lighting shaking him. He let out a groan and curled up into a tight ball, hiding his face with his arm. Bella let out a soft giggle, finding the fact that Edward refused to get up rather amusing now that it was Saturday morning. She prodded him once more. He did not stir.

'_Well, since he's asleep, you might as well go and see what's in those pants of his,'_ a voice suddenly suggested in Bella's mind. Her cheeks flamed up. _'Oh please. Don't you think he spies on you all the time? After all, he can see pictures with those mind-reading powers of his can't he?'_

'_Edward would never do that,'_ Bella argued, defending the sleeping vampire, who had just taken it upon himself to roll onto his side, back facing the girl, shirt steadily riding up, revealing more skin. It took all of Bella's self control to look away from Edward.

'_No, Bella! No! Bad girl! Bad girl! Don't be a pervert!'_

'_Oh please,'_ the voice in her head snorted. She could practically hear its eyes rolling.

'_Oh shut up!'_ she mentally hissed at it. Right now she was very glad that Edward was both asleep and lacked the ability to read her thoughts. The voice let out a small obnoxious huff before falling silent much to Bella's relief. She then turned her attention back to Edward and proceeded to prod at him again.

"Edward, time to get up," she said, trying to rouse the other out of his unconscious state. Edward made a funny little noise in reply and Bella couldn't help but giggle again. "Edward."

"Moooooom. Five more minuuuuuuuutes," Edward groaned in a very 'I-am-a-teenager-let-me-sleep' kind of way. Bella was taken aback, being called 'mom' by Edward? She'd never expected that.

"Edward, it's Bella," she murmured into his ear, wondering if he'd ever wake up.

"Mm. Bella?" Edward let out a yawn and rolled onto his back, staring up at Bella. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. It took him a moment to realize it, but he'd just woken up from being asleep, which was not normal. He covered his face with his hands before sitting up. "I fell asleep again," he murmured.

"Yeah," Bella replied, reaching up to run her fingers through his bronze locks, marveling at how easily they pulled through the silky hair. Even after just waking up Edward Cullen maintained perfection, no knots, no drool. He really wasn't human.

"This is starting to become a bad habit," he said with a sigh, closing his eyes as Bella continued to run her fingers through his hair. It was almost like she was grooming him. "That feels nice," he finally said.

"Good," she said with a smile as she twirled the light reddish strands around her index finger. "Your hair is so shiny," she said as the narrow stream of light danced across it.

"Hmm?" Edward asked, looking back at Bella out of the corner of his eye. "Oh. Thank you." Bella may have just been imagining it there, but she could've sworn that Edward's cheeks were a bit pinker than usual.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Are you blushing?" Bella asked, teasingly dragging out the last word. Edward let out a snort.

"Bella, I can't blush," he replied, crossing his arms over his chest. Bella merely giggled and began to braid his hair. She'd already gotten two braids done before Edward realized what was going on. "Bella, are you braiding my hair?" he asked.

"No," she lied as she continued to play with the vampire's hair. She giggled as he let out yet another snort.

"Bella," he sighed in exasperation. "Please. What do you think my family would say if they saw me like this?"

"They'd say that you'd make a very pretty girl," Bella replied, grinning from ear to ear.

"Not helping."

"Sorry."

Sensing that he'd upset Bella, he tried to change the subject. "It's nice out today, just like on Monday," he said softly, still feeling her hands upon his hair even though they were no longer moving.

"What? Monday? It was cloudy all day," she replied, brow furrowing. Edward blinked. No. That couldn't be possible. Could it?

Bella then let go of his hair, hands returning to her lap as she watched Edward swiftly undo the braids she'd worked so hard to make. In a matter of seconds her work was gone and Edward was facing her, head cocked to the side.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, noticing her slightly dejected expression. She blinked in surprise.

"I'm fine…" she murmured. Really, she was. She was just worried about Edward. There hadn't been one day this week where the vampire hadn't done something abnormal, whether it was sleeping in her bed or bleeding all over the ground at school. Something was definitely amiss. What if it was life-threatening? What if it had the potential to end his existence? What then? Was she really willing to take the risk of becoming a vampire if only to live that immortal life alone in despair?

"Mm." Edward eyed her warily, clearly not believing her. She had never been much of a liar anyways. He sighed and put his face closer to her, peering at her with interest. "You don't know how badly I want to know what's going through your head," he murmured.

Bella's cheeks turned scarlet as his breath ran over her skin. "Um," she began, suddenly at a loss for words. Oh drat. He'd dazzled her again! Not like it wasn't a daily occurrence, but, oh well. She'd have thought that she'd be used to it by now. Guess not.

"However, although I can't see anything that's going through your head, I can certainly see that something is bothering you. What is it?"

"Nothing," she replied hastily, pulling a stuffed bear to her chest – a bear the Edward had almost rolled over the morning before.

"It's not nothing," Edward replied, pressing for an answer. "I won't leave you alone until you give me an answer." Bella let out a sigh.

"I was thinking about," she paused, "my becoming a vampire." Edward raised his eyebrows.

"Finally came to your senses and decided it was a bad idea?" he asked. He'd expected this to happen sooner or later. After all, why throw away your human life when you could still enjoy it? Maybe all those years of being a vampire had shown him how much nicer life had been when he still had warmth in his body.

"No. Well, not really." Bella took in a deep breath, knowing full well that the subject she was about to bring up was not one Edward wanted to discuss. "I've been wondering if whatever's wrong with you—"

Edward cut her off swiftly. "There's _nothing_ wrong with me," he hissed, voice dangerously low. Bella was taken aback. Edward had never spoken to her with such a harsh tone. Yes, he'd gotten irritated with her before, be he'd never hissed anything at her.

"Edward," she began, voice firm, "You were bleeding on Monday and feel asleep in my bed Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Do you honestly think I'm going to believe that you're fine?" She let out a sigh and shook her head. "Something is definitely wrong with you."

"I'm _fine_," he replied, stressing the last word.

"No, you're _not_."

They stared at each other long and hard, their lips pressed into firm lines. Not a peep escaped them while they sat there upon Bella's bed, neither willing to give in.

"I'm fine, Bella," Edward said finally as he stood up.

"No! You're not!" she protested, standing up as well.

"I'm done talking about this," he said finally, "I'm leaving." He then turned on his heels and headed towards the door. Bella was having none of that and gripped his arm tightly, jerking him back much to his surprise. "Let go!" He then ripped his arm out of her grasp and was gone in a flash, leaving Bella alone in her room, form bathed in sunlight.

She stared at the doorframe for a moment before she fell to her knees and began to cry.

--

Edward knew full well that his actions were going to come around a bite him later, but he honestly couldn't care less as he stormed off. If he were still human then his blood would've been boiling. There was nothing wrong with him! Why couldn't Bella see that? He continued to sprint towards his house, trying his best to focus only on putting one foot in front of the other. Bella was the last thing he wanted or needed to think about now, but his mind was traitorous and kept bringing her image up in the forefront of his mind.

He was growing increasingly frustrated with every passing second and he was more than grateful when he found the house to be empty. Carlisle was out at work, working an extra shift that Saturday morning, Esme had taken it upon herself to peruse what the sale at Home Depot had to offer, Alice was out at the mall and had made Jasper tag along, and Emmett had taken it upon himself to take Rosalie on a date. He was the only one around.

Letting out a heavy breath, he massaged his temples as he wandered into his room, flopping onto his couch, face landing in the plush pillows. With his face still in the pillow, he lifted up the remote to his CD player and pressed 'play'. It didn't take long before Debussy floated out of the speakers. His body relaxed as the music soothed his agitated mood.

Honestly, Edward had no idea how long he'd been lying there listening to his music, but it must've been a while as the CD player had stopped playing and the sun was already getting low in the sky. The phone had rung a few times while he'd been lying on his couch, but he couldn't be bothered to answer it. He just didn't have the energy. However, he decided that it was time to get up.

Shutting off the stereo, the bronze-haired vampire stood up, letting out a grunt as his back cracked. He stretched before sluggishly making his way out of his room. He supposed that it was time to check the messages. Sure enough, the red light was flashing. Edward bent down and pressed the 'play back' button. Immediately Alice's voice poured out of the machine.

"Edward, it's Alice. Me and Jasper are going to see a movie. Esme is coming with us. We'll be back later. By the way, I know you're home."

Then came a message from Carlisle, telling Edward that there was just an emergency situation at the hospital and that he wouldn't be back till late. Then came a message the he figured could only be from Rosalie and Emmett as there was only harsh breathing in the background with a rather loud 'Ah! Rose!'. He deleted that one quickly.

He was about to listen to another one from Alice when he felt a sharp twist in his stomach that made him double over, gasping. His hand gripped the table upon which the phone and answering machine sat, nails digging into the wood, leaving deep crescent-shaped marks. Once more his stomach twisted, sending a sudden rush of bile into the back of his throat, burning his throat before he forced it back down.

"Oh shit," he breathed, feeling that nauseating feeling ripple within him. He was in the nearest bathroom – Alice's – in a flash, doubled over the toilet, gripping the bowl as he vomited the meager contents of his stomach, which was really nothing more than acid and venom, lots and lots of venom.

He coughed as the burning sensation spread to his nose, causing his eyes to sting. Edward was about to flush the toilet when his stomach heaved again. This continued over and over again with little reprieve until he was no longer bringing anything up. He coughed as he finally flushed the toilet, feeling weak, light-headed, and extremely nauseated. The vampire wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before curling in the fetal position on the floor, hugging himself tightly around the waist, breathing ragged and shallow.

Edward did not get back up for a long long time.

--

**AN:** Mm. I did this pretty quick I think. Right?

-rattles tin can-

Give the poor writer some reviews? Please? Will write for reviews!


	4. Abnormalities

**AN: **Yeah. I'm blocked again. I can't get the words out the way I want even though I've been trying for days. Sorry it's taken so long, but thanks to everyone who did review. I love getting them. Anyways, I'll say this now, Edward's relationship with Jacob isn't going to be the happy-happy fluffy bunnies all around sort of relationship. It's different and certainly not what he has with Bella. Just a warning. Anyways, have fun with guessing as to what's wrong with Edward. It'll become clear soon enough in like the next few chapters, but I'm sure you can pick up the little hints I've dropped.

Oh. And I lied about not updating till June 1st. Sorry (:

**Edit:** I got off my lazy ass and edited it. Sorry about those horrid typos.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight.

--

**.relapse.**

third symptom – abnormalities

--

Edward awoke the next morning to Alice's voice. The girl's worried tone pierced through the foggy muddle haze of confusion that clouded his mind. His eyelids were heavy and his body drunk with sleep. There was an uncomfortable stiffness embedded in his neck and spine. He heard his bones crick and pop loudly as he uncurled himself, letting out a soft groan as he did so. His fingertips pressed down onto the chilly tiled floor as he tried to push himself up, but his arms – no his entire body – felt too weak to accomplish such a feat.

"Edward…" he vaguely heard Alice murmur as her hands soothingly ran down his back, treating him almost as if he were a small child with an upset stomach. However, he supposed not all of that was untrue. The fact that he'd spent half the night hoisting himself up to expel acid and venom into the toilet bowl until he could merely dry-heave was proof enough that something was upsetting his stomach. The only question was what?

"Alice?" he rasped, throat still burning from the previous night's events. He licked his lips, which had cracked and begun to bleed. He felt dried out, like he'd spent an eternity in a desert without water. He coughed, feeling the acrid taste of his own blood seep into his taste buds as the thick fluid slid across his tongue.

"Oh Edward…" Alice murmured as she maneuvered the sickly vampire as well as herself so that Edward's head rested limply in her lap. A shuddering breath left the unusually feeble bronze-haired boy as he was repositioned. However, he did not make any sign of protest.

"Alice…" he sighed, eyes fluttering open before finally sliding closed again in defeat. He was much too tired to care about anything. It felt as if his mouth had been stuffed full of cotton – very dry cotton – and it pained him to breathe, yet, he couldn't stop the weak, but steady rise and fall of his chest.

"What happened?" Alice's musical voice drifted through his ears again, right when he was about to slip under the opaque veil of sleep that seemed so enticing at the moment. It was such a lovely shade of velvety purple and it looked so incredibly soft. He just wanted to curl beneath it once more and forget about the blood, the dryness, the pain, but it seemed Alice had a different plan.

"Dunno…" Edward mumbled softly, far too soft for any human to understand him – it would just be a bunch of incoherent garble to them – but Alice would've been able to hear just fine. He let out another groan as he tried to tighten his grip on awareness, to fight off the sleep for just a little longer. "So tired…"

The pixie-like vampire's fingers ran soothingly over his head in an almost motherly fashion – if he'd been anymore gone then he would've called her 'mom' – smoothing out his messy curls, which were plastered to his pale, clammy brow.

"Your forehead feels wet," Alice observed, pulling her hand back to stare at her now damp palm. She brought it closer to her face and tentatively sniffed. It was a mixture of salty and sweet. "Sweat?" she whispered, brow furrowing. Edward wasn't supposed to sweat. Hell. No vampire was even supposed to produce any sort of body fluid – blood included – besides venom, which really wasn't all that natural anyways.

Edward groaned and rolled over, curling back up, back now facing Alice. He felt horrible, like he'd just been hit with a steamroller actually. Well, a nausea-inducing steamroller anyways. Yes. That was it. A magical steamroller with the ability to make anyone feel like they were about to puke up their intestines. Ew. Nasty thought there.

"Shit," Alice cursed as the boy, mind still as hazy and muddled as ever, rolled off onto the cool tile. She pressed her palm to his forehead once more. It was as clammy as ever. She could even feel a shiver run up through his body, which soon began to tremble uncontrollably.

"A-Alice," he choked out before lapsing into a coughing fit. Alice's frown deepened when she heard the loud coughing that made it seem like her brother was coughing up his lungs. A thin trickle of red fluid slipped out from in between his dry, slightly cracked lips.

"Oh god," he breathed, hand flying to her mouth, eyes wide in shock and worry. She rose up from the ground. "I'm going to call Carlisle. Just hang on, Edward." She then spun around with a dancer's grace, but she was unable to take more than a single fluid step. Edward was holding on to her ankle.

The boy had managed to roll over onto his stomach, eyes fixed upon her, lips now painted red from the sudden surge of blood into his mouth. Breathing hard, he managed to push himself up onto his knees, quaking as he did so. He coughed again, the red liquid falling onto the floor with a sickening splat, staining the white tile crimson.

"N-no," he gasped, "Please. Don't." He voice cracked on the last word. There was a desperate, almost pleading look in his eyes as he spoke. He began to cough again, the wet sound enough to make Alice shiver. This time his hand flew to his mouth, trying its best in vain to prevent anymore blood from splattering onto the floor.

It leaked out between his pale fingers, slipping through the gaps, the puddle of red pooling at his knees. The sickening hacking continued for a while, Alice frozen on the spot, watching her brother suffer.

Wincing, Edward wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smearing red over red. His tongue darted out and ran along his lips. The taste of his blood was unpleasant and he couldn't help but make a face. "I'm f-fine," he rasped out.

"Bullshit," was the immediate response. Coughing up blood was hardly normal, thus the reason why Edward could not possible be 'fine'. Alice didn't know who he was trying to fool, but he was doing a pretty poor job of it. Jerking free of the other's frail hold, Alice stepped out of the bathroom. "I'm calling him. No buts," she said simply before disappearing from Edward sight, leaving the distressed vampire to kneel upon the cold bathroom floor all in his lonesome.

Carlisle was home within a few minutes, passing on all his patients to the other doctors on staff at the hospital. Alice's call had most certainly worried him. No one needed intense compassion to care about the steadily declining healthy of a son, well, in his case 'almost-son'. That two-minute drive from the hospital – he'd given into his speed-demon nature and had driven extra fast – had been the longest two-minute drive of his life. It seemed to have taken an eternity. However, he reached home soon enough and was pushing through the front door so fast that it seemed as if it had never even been opened to the human eye.

He was greeted by a grimfaced Alice, her pretty face etched with worry. Her eyes met his for a moment before turning to the ground as Edward's coughing rang out.

"How is he?" he asked, immediately making his way to the boy's bedroom, medical supplies in hand. He was having horrible déja-vu. This seemed just like the time he'd been called over to the Masen household to diagnose poor Edward with the Spanish Flu and then send for an ambulance to cart him off to the hospital.

Alice was following closely behind. "I think he's a bit better. He's stopped coughing up blood, but his cough is just as nasty sounding as ever," he replied. They were already in front of Edward's door.

"I see," Carlisle murmured as he pushed open the door. His brow furrowed when he saw Edward lying on the couch, back pressed into the soft plump cushions. "Edward?" he murmured as he moved to the boy's side, brushing back the damp bronze bangs that were plastered to the pale and sweaty brow.

Edward's eyelids fluttered, lackluster golden eyes peering at the man. He forced a weak smile, blood beginning to trickle down from the cracks in the once soft tissue. His lips moved, mouth opening to speak, but a sudden coughing fit prevented the words from escaping. Turning his head to the side, Edward coughed into the palm of his hand. Carlisle's gaze softened as he watched the poor boy cough until coughed no more. He no longer had the strength.

"Edward," the man murmured as Edward flopped onto his back, breathing hard, eyes closed. The ocher-eyed boy said nothing, staying silence for the moment, ragged breathing filling up the silence.

"My chest… hurts," the boy finally said once his breathing steadied itself a bit. He licked his lips again, not caring if they chapped. What did it matter? Compared to the pain he was feeling now, chapping seemed relatively minor.

"Just take deep breaths for me," Carlisle said, stethoscope in hand. While he placed the ear buds in his ears Alice quickly undid Edward's shirt, pulling the buttons out of the shirt's hold and pushing the fabric off to the side. "Okay. In," the man murmured as he pressed the circular piece of metal at the end to the other's chest.

Edward complied readily enough, taking as deep of a breath as his abused lungs and pained chest would allow. His eyes were open a crack, studying Carlisle's worried expression grow even more worrisome. Creases appeared in the seemingly perfect brow, making the man appear older than he usually seemed to be – of course it had nothing on his real age.

"Is… something… wrong?" Edward whispered hoarsely as the stethoscope was returned to the bag. His question was met with a prolonged silence.

"I don't hear anything abnormal," Carlisle murmured in disbelief. There was a moment's pause. "Do you still feel pained in your chest?" Edward shook his head. The sharp knife-like stabbing pain he'd experienced mere moments before was now nothing more than a dwindling dull ache, nothing but a minor irritation.

Edward turned to Alice. "I told you I was fine," he said, sitting up, arms shaking as he moved his weight around. The dark-haired girl said nothing in response. She merely turned her attention to Carlisle, who merely shrugged. He did not know what was happening within Edward, whether it was a life-threatening bacteria or virus. He had no idea.

"Just take it easy, Edward," Carlisle said, getting another nod in response. He turned to Alice. "Keep and eye on him, make sure he doesn't get worse."

"Of course," Alice replied as she gazed at a rather unhappy Edward. It was obvious that he didn't want Alice watching him like a hawk, fussing over every little thing he did. He'd never seen her this worried, but it was really all for nothing. He was almost one hundred percent certain of that.

"I have to get back to the hospital," Carlisle said as he stood back up, bag in hand. "I'll see you two later tonight." He paused for a moment, staring at Edward, who shifted uncomfortably under the other's analytical gaze. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Take care of yourself. Don't do anything stupid. If you feel sick then you absolutely must let me know," Carlisle said before walking out of the room, Alice trailing behind him. A car engine rumbled outside, springing to life. Carlisle was gone again, back to work like the dutiful doctor he was.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Edward stumbled along in a half-aware state, answering Alice with mere grunts and incoherent mumbles as he shifted from one place to another. He just couldn't sit still. He'd find himself flicking on the TV only to get back up minutes later. Time seemed to slow down and then speed up again. One by one the members of his family came home and Edward was being bombarded by enough concern to make his brain throb – he was sure Jasper just wanted to throw himself off the roof at that point.

Then it was morning and Edward was in school, wonderfully boring school. He trudged through the morning classes, ducking into empty classrooms between switches to avoid his siblings as well as Bella – not that she'd actually _want_ to talk to him after the way he'd treated her. God. He'd fucked up big time there.

Break came and went and before he knew it lunch time had rolled by too. Many times one of his siblings would walk up to him and he'd snap at them, snarling and growling in an almost feral fashion before stalking off. He'd even told Emmett to go fuck himself before storming off into the thick stream of sweaty human bodies.

The weather was just as bad as his mood. Thunder boomed as lightning streaked across the sky, the rain coming down in thick torrents. While many students would jump at the sudden deafening crashes of thunder, Edward found them to be quite relaxing. He'd closed his eyes halfway through English and just let himself be lost in the noise.

He was in a considerably better mood after English, no longer as agitated or irritable. Now was the time to talk to Bella, Edward decided.

Slipping into the after-school rush of humans, he stealthily slipped past his siblings and got into his Volvo. He drove along at a slightly slower pace than usual, trying to keep himself relaxed, pleasant, and not a complete and total jerkwad. About a block away from the Swan household, he stopped and parked. He stayed in his car for a moment, listening to Debussy over the steady pitter-patter of the rain. Finally he stepped out into the downpour, getting soaked within seconds.

Walking at a normal human pace, he walked up the driveway. Bella's red truck stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the thick greenery that surrounded it. He smiled when he remembered a particularly amusing phrase that Bella had once murmured in her sleep.

'_It's too green.'_

Perhaps it really was for her tastes, but Edward honestly didn't notice. He was far too used to living in heavily forested areas to really notice.

His eyes flicked from Bella's bedroom windows to the front door. He glanced back. Chief Swan's police cruiser was nowhere in sight. Wonderful. Now he wouldn't have to deal with the man's death glares. At this moment Edward was sure that Charlie would like nothing more than to tie a weight to his ankle and leave him out in the Arizonian desert where the vultures could pick his bones clean. What a nice image.

He gracefully ambled over to the front door and knocked on it. Edward waited a moment before life began to stir within the house. He heard the scraping of a chair across the kitchen floor and the soft padding of Bella's bare feet across the hardwood floors. The lock then clicked and the door open.

Bella stared in shock at the soaked vampire on her front porch. She crossed her arms, pursed her lips and leaned against the door frame, studying the handsome boy – handsome? Pft. He was drop dead gorgeous! – before her.

"Hm. Look what the cat dragged in," she said. Clearly she was still upset about yesterday.

"Can I come in?" Edward asked tentatively, "We need to talk." Bella remained silent for a few moments before moving aside. Edward was inside within seconds, door shut behind him.

"Well? Talk."

Edward took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm sorry for being a total…" He paused, searching for the right word. "Jackass yesterday," he finished. He took a deep breath. "I'm just a bit stressed at the moment."

"Why?"

"… I don't know."

"Okay."

"So, will you bestow your forgiveness upon me, Isabella Marie Swan?" he asked, flashing her his most charming smile. The cold façade Bella had put up crumbled immediately.

"Stop calling me Isabella and you've got yourself a deal." She then placed a quick kiss on his cool cheek. "Just be careful with yourself. I worry about you, Mr. Indestructible." She grinned and let out a small airy laugh before walking into the kitchen. "Come here. I'm making cake. You're going to be my guinea pig."

"Bella," Edward whined as he followed her into what might've been his own personal hell. "You know I can't eat that."

"I never said you had to swallow it," she retorted as she picked up the white tube of icing and continued to decorate her cake. Edward sighed. There was no way he was going to weasel his way out of this. "Sit," Bella said. Edward obeyed.

Bella busied herself with the cake, happily humming as she squeezed the thick creamy icing out. Edward was just praying that he wouldn't be forced to regurgitate anything later. Finally Bella finished and a small piece of the cake had been set on a plate before him. He warily eyed the food.

"Bella," he said, looking up at her with his most pleading look.

"Not going to work. Now eat before I have to force feed you," Bella replied as she crossed her arms. Edward let out a sigh of defeat and scooped up a miniscule piece of the homemade cake. He gave Bella one last puppy-dog look. "Eat," the girl ordered. Edward let out a sigh and opened his mouth.

However, the cake never made it inside. He froze, feeling his abdomen twist again. Oh hell. Not now. Not now. Please for the love of God not now! The fork clattered to the floor as did the chair as he stood up quickly, frantically looking for a place he could release whatever his stomach wanted to get rid of now. He spied it: the sink.

Pushing roughly past Bella, he leaned over the sink just in time for the bile to rush out. A horrible retching noise filled the kitchen. Warm fingers pressed soothingly against his forehead, keeping it from hitting the faucet as he continued to vomit. Well, until he could do nothing but dry-heave.

"Shhh. Edward," Bella murmured as she caressed the top of his head, one arm around Edward's waist. "It's okay." She pressed another kiss to his cheek as the vampire panted loudly, gripping the counter so hard his knuckles turned white.

Suddenly he shoved Bella away. "Don't touch me!" he snarled, eyes pitch black. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, seeming somewhat panicked. Bella stared wide-eyed at him, shocked at the other's rough actions. A bruise was already forming where he'd gripped her.

"Edward? What's wrong?" She took a tentative step forward. Edward took one back, shaking like he'd just seen the most horrifying thing in his life. However, Bella persisted, still trying to get close to the vampire. "Edward, this isn't like you." She reached out with her hand, trying to touch him.

A loud smack rung out through the kitchen and Bella fell to the ground, cheek stinging with new pain and lip quivering. She was shocked, hurt actually. To think that Edward would actually hit her! Her cheek was bright red, slowly blossoming a nasty dark purple. She tasted blood on her tongue. She was surprised that her head hadn't just popped off from that blow!

Edward stared at her for a moment, seemingly not recognizing who she was before letting out a low growl and slipping out of the house. Bella's heart clenched in her chest. Not only had Edward looked at her as if he'd never seen her in his entire life! He'd also looked at her as if she were nothing more than a monster.

A lowly, filthy monster.

--

**AN:** -sigh- Okay. Done. Written on the plane to Tokyo. Damn this flight is long, but I'm posting it from Shanghai High School. Gurgh. I'm sick. Shit. I'm gonna go back to bed.


	5. Seizure

**AN: **So what do you do when you're stuck in your dorm room at 7:12 with three hours or so to kill? Write more chapters of course! But first, a little update on China. My dorm room is about the size of my bathroom at home. The bed is pretty much a wooden plank. Mattress should've been written on the list of 'What to Pack'. The toilet? Yeah. A hole in the ground. I am so not used to squatting over something that looks like a urinal embedded into the floor. I'm pretty tired too. We spent most of the day walking around and stuff. I bought pocky. Mmm. Pocky. I love Pocky, but I'm really full from lunch – plus the food in kinda ick – so I don't really want to eat. So yeah, the Chinese now think that we're all anorexic. Fun fun.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

--

**.relapse.**

fourth symptom – seizure

--

Bella was sitting on the couch in the living room with a cool compress pressed to her swollen and bruised cheek when her father came home. She sluggishly turned her head when she heard the key click in the front door. Her cheek wasn't the only thing that stung and ached. Her heart was tight in her chest, still twisting and bleeding within her because of Edward's sudden and unexpected actions. He'd hit her. Edward would never hit her, but he'd done so that afternoon.

"Hey, Bells," Chief Swan said as he walked into the living room, shoes making dull smacks against the wood floor. Bella did not look up nor did she answer. She didn't want to see her father; she didn't want to talk to him. Not now. Not when the memory of Edward hitting her was replaying itself over and over inside her head.

"Bella?" her father questioned when she didn't respond. She knew that she couldn't stay quiet forever. She'd have to answer eventually, say that she was fine when she really wasn't, suffer thousands of questions that would force her to smile and lie.

"Hey, Dad," she said, forcing a small smile even though she wasn't looking up at him. She was still staring at her feet, wondering what she'd done wrong. What had she said to make Edward react that way? She must've done something wrong!

"Bella? Is something wrong?"

First question.

"No, Dad."

First lie.

"Are you sure?"

Second question.

"Yes, Dad."

Second lie.

"Okay. If you're sure…"

"I am, Dad. Your dinner's in the kitchen. I'm not very hungry right now."

That was the end of the questions. With a final worried look at his daughter, Chief Swan retreated into the kitchen, deciding that he might as well occupy himself with dinner while his daughter refused to tell him what was wrong. He'd learned long ago that pressing the matter was not a very bright idea as it usually ended up in him being snapped at.

Bella let out a shuddering breath when she heard her father busy himself with dinner. She wiped her damp cheeks with the back of her hand, sniffling softly. Her heart felt like it had been wrenched out of her chest and twisted so hard that it had torn in two. It was very painful to say the least. However, the pain, everything, it was all so surreal. Never in a thousand years had she thought that Edward would turn on her like that, look at her as if she were the lowest of the low, lash out at her as if she were an enemy and not a friend, leave her crumpled on the floor like a piece of a rubbish. It seemed impossible! Unthinkable!

She began to chew on her thumbnail. Well, what was left of it anyways. No matter how hard she tried, Bella couldn't shake this awful habit of hers: nail biting. The result was that she'd chewed her nails to the nubs. They looked awful and she wanted to stop, but she just couldn't. Nothing had worked so far.

Her eyes flicked nervously over to the phone. She needed to talk to someone, someone her age – this most certainly ruled out Charlie – someone who was her friend, and someone who most certainly wasn't Edward. She doubted the vampire would even want to hear her voice again after his earlier reaction.

She debated this while she chewed on her index fingernail, then the middle one, and the ring one as well. Bella had her answer before she got to the pinky. She'd call Jessica. After all, Jessica had helped her out before. Maybe she could this time.

Bella quickly dialed the girl's number, anxiously waiting as the dial tone poured out of the receiver. "Please pick up, please pick up," she murmured quickly, almost as if she were chanting.

The poor girl was met with only Jessica's answering machine. Sighing, she set the phone back down in the cradle, not even bothering to leave a message. Why should she? She needed comfort now, not later.

Running her slim fingers through her brown hair, she slouched in her seat, gazing up at the ceiling, wondering what she did to deserve this. Everything had been going so well and now it seemed to be trapped in a downward spiral. Her world was crumbling around her, falling at her feet. She didn't want to feel the same heartbreak Edward had caused her before. She didn't want it. It was then that Bella thought that perhaps it really was better if she stopped seeing Edward, who always seemed to be the source of her heartbreak.

Of course breaking it off with the beautiful vampire would hurt. It wouldn't be a shallow wound, but all wounds healed, right? She'd heal in time and then she could go on with her life, find a less complicated relationship, one that didn't force her to dread the next day as it could be the one Edward finally realized that he'd chosen wrong and that she, Bella Swan, was not meant to be with him. After all, she was an inferior specimen, an average-looking human.

These thoughts were dubbed ridiculous soon enough and Isabella berated herself for even thinking such things. Staying with Edward hurt, but leaving him would hurt even more. She remembered the pain she'd felt all those months, then that steady numbness that had seeped through her, made her nothing but a zombie. She was dead without Edward, her beautiful angel.

Her gaze drifted back to the phone. Who else could she call? She went through the names in her mind. Each one was met with a negative. Then she said it. She said _his_ name, the name of the person she couldn't see anymore because of what he was.

"Jacob," she whispered. It had rolled off her tongue so fluidly, so unintentionally that it was almost frightening. However, he might've been the only person who she could talk to right now.

Her cheek throbbed unpleasantly as she picked up the phone. Sucking in a deep breath, fingers shaking slightly, Bella dialed the number. The dial tone seemed even louder now as it echoed through her brain, sending a shiver down her spine. It was funny actually, how half of her desperately wanted Jacob to pick up and the other half desperately wished him to just not be there.

"Hello?"

The nervous girl exhaled when she heard Jacob's voice carry through the receiver. She hadn't realized that she'd been holding her breath till just then. Smiling, she tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear.

"Hey Jacob," she said, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking. "It's Bella. Please don't hang up." Bella paused, waiting for a reply. She merely got a soft crackling noise for quite some time. Finally Jacob spoke again.

"What do you want?"

It wasn't exactly the sort of response Bella had been hoping for, but at least the werewolf had replied instead of just hanging up and leaving her to talk to the dial tone.

"I just want to talk to you." There was another long pause before she got a response.

"Are you still seeing the bloodsucker?"

Bella frowned. "His name is _Edward_, Jacob."

"Whatever. Are you still seeing him?"

Now it was her turn to pause. "I don't know if we're still together."

"What? Did he run away with his tail between his legs again?" Jacob hissed through the phone. Bella could hear the phone creaking beneath his powerful vice-like grip. "The bastard."

"Jacob!" Bella snapped, anger flaring within her. No matter what sort of things Edward did, whether he left her, hit her, or spat upon her, she wouldn't stand to let anyone call him such a thing.

"It's the truth! That filthy bloodsucker left you to rot! Don't you remember?" he snarled over the phone. Bella could almost imagine his bones creaking, feeling the pressure of the change coming on.

"He didn't want to!" she argued, "That hurt the two of us. He loves me!" She stopped. Did Edward really love her? Today had made her begin to rethink that. Chewing on her lower lip, she lapsed into silence.

"… Bella?" came Jacob's questioning voice after a good two minutes of silence. He was worried. She could most certainly tell. His face, frozen in a look of concern, faded in and out of her thoughts.

"I'm here," she said, sounding rather hoarse. Her throat was tight and getting even one syllable out was a pain. She swallowed, trying to get rid of the knot caught inside her.

"Are you okay? Bella, are you crying?"

"No, I'm fine," she said as she wiped her eyes, sniffling softly, trying her best to keep in the watery sobs that threatened to come out.

"Bella, you're crying." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Seems she couldn't fool Jacob. Not even over the phone.

"No I'm not."

"Liar."

Silence.

"Bella?"

More silence.

"Bella? Oh. Bella. I'm sorry. I'm just… I just…"

"… It's okay."

"Do you need me to come over?" Jacob waited anxiously on the other end for a response, fearing that his suggestion may have been a bit too forward. After all, it was no secret that he liked Bella in a way that was more than friendly.

Bella debated the matter for a moment. She really needed someone to confide in at the moment, but was Jacob the right person? The boy would most likely go and try to rip Edward's throat out if she told him what had happened. However, she needed someone right now and it was like they said 'Beggars can't be choosers'!

Swallowing again, she chewed on her lip again for a second before answering. "Actually, could I come over to your house?"

There was another awkward pause.

"How about we meet at the beach," Jacob said finally, "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," Bella replied as she tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, standing up off of the couch.

"Okay. I'll see you soon." Another pause. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself."

"I will."

"Okay. Bye."

Bella heard the click of Jacob hanging up and then the ringing dial tone. She let out a soft breath before setting the phone back down in the cradle. Walking over to the front door, she grabbed her coat, threw it over her shoulders – the sky was as overcast as always and getting caught unaware in a downpour was not on her list of things to do.

"I'm going to see Jacob!" Bella called out to her father.

"Alright! Be back before ten! Have fun, Bells!" came her father's reply, to which Bella couldn't help but smile. "Oh! And send Billy my best!"

"I will, Dad!" she replied and slipped out of the front door, keys in hand. She trotted over the pavement, careful not to trip over her own two feet as she made her way to her truck. She found it sitting in the driveway like it usually was, waiting for her faithfully, almost like a dog. Smiling a bit more she gave the old vehicle a gently affectionate pat before climbing inside.

With a quick flick on the wrist, the key was in the ignition and the car had started. Making sure not to hit the mailbox, Bella pulled out of the driveway and headed off in the direction of the beach.

It didn't take too long to get there. The empty roads made the drive smooth and easy. However, the sense of emptiness sent chills down Bella's spine as the old truck rolled down the winding roads that were lined with nothing but dark forest. A feeling of dread had knotted itself deep within her belly, forcing a lump into her throat again. There was a sour taste sliding across her tongue, a taste so awful she had to roll her window down at one point and spit out of it to earn a moment's reprieve from the dreadful flavor.

Finally she pulled to a stop in front of La Push. The crashing of the waves upon the sandy shore seemed louder than before as she stepped out into the cool night air. Hugging herself tight, she waited, wondering where Jacob was. The full moon hung brightly in the velvety expanse of dark night. Stars twinkled innocently upon the black canvas, giving Bella a sense of peace and calm as she stared up upon them. Dark clouds swam about in the sky, hiding the moon and stars more often than not, which disappointed the girl.

A childish urge to make a wish surged within Bella. She glanced around quickly to make sure she was alone before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. Clasping her hands together, she began to speak.

"I wish I may, I wish I might, upon the first star I see tonight," she said before pausing for a moment, inhaling the salty air deeply. "I wish that Edward would tell me what's going on."

"So, the bloodsucker's been keeping secrets from you?"

Bella whirled around, eyes wide, heart pounding rapidly against her ribcage. The sudden appearance of that voice had startled her that was for sure. She pricked her ears, trying to determine where the voice had come from. A soft ringing laugh was all she heard.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said as he stepped out of the tree, friendly smile upon his boyish features, "I didn't mean to startle you, Bella."

Bella let out a breath, hand going to rest upon her chest, right above her heart. "Jeeze, Jacob. You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days." However, she couldn't keep herself from smiling.

"That would be bad, wouldn't it?"

"Very."

The two stared at each other for a moment before Jacob finally made a move. He turned towards the beach and stepped off of the asphalt and onto the sand, bare toes wiggling in the grainy surface, a serene smile playing upon his lips. Then without a moment's hesitation he plopped right down into the sand. Seems he didn't really care if he got sand in his knickers.

"Sit," he said simply. Bella obeyed, taking her seat next to the werewolf.

The two of them sat there for quite some time, bathed in moonlight. However, finally Bella grew tired of the silence and decided to start a conversation. She let out a soft breath, pulling her knees to her chest, hugging them as she absent-mindedly drew circles in the sand.

"Jacob?" she asked, turning her head towards him.

"Hmm?" He too turned his head, smiling as peacefully as ever. However, that peaceful smile fell swiftly when he saw the nasty purple bruise that had bloomed in Bella's cheek. "What happened?" he demanded.

"What?" Bella asked, confused about what Jacob was asking.

"That bruise," he said, gently cupping her unhurt cheek in the palm of his hand, tilting her head gently so that he could examine the blemish upon her pale, almost translucent skin better. "What happened?"

"Oh. I… fell," Bella replied lamely, pulling her face away, looking down at the ground. She didn't want to see the look on Jacob's face. It was obvious by the way his breath was coming out in hard puffs that he didn't believe her.

"Bullshit," he said firmly. "Tell me."

Bella wiggled around for a moment, unsure of whether to reply truthfully or not. "Edward…" she trailed off.

"What did that damn parasite do?" Jacob snarled, the hair on the back of his neck rising in anger. His blood was getting close to boiling.

"Calm down, Jacob!" Bella ordered, her hard gaze fixing firmly upon the werewolf. Reluctantly the boy sat himself back down, still bristling furiously. Once the other was sitting again, she spoke again. "Can I continue?"

"Yes," Jacob got out through gritted teeth, jaw locked, fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles went white.

Bella took in a deep breath. "Edward hit me," she got out, enunciating each word as evenly as she could, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking.

"That bastard!" the werewolf snarled, leaping up again, growling loudly. "I'm going to rip him apart piece by piece and—"

"No!" Bella snapped, springing to her feet as well. Jacob's eyes widened, the anger he'd been feeling replaced with surprise.

"You'll still defend him after he _hit_ you?" Jacob asked in disbelief, adding emphasis to the word 'hit'.

"Yes," Bella replied stiffly. Jacob snorted.

"You're too good for the likes of him."

Bella bristled, her own temper rising. "No, Jacob. Edward's too good for me. If you can't approve of him, fine, don't, but don't you dare talk about my boyfriend like that, especially not in front of me," she hissed. She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "I love him, Jacob. I'm sorry that you've been raised to hate a family you hardly even know, but I think it's time you grew up!"

With that she spun around and stalked off, fuming, leaving a stunned Jacob Black in her wake. She slammed the door to her truck hard, perhaps a little too much so as a streak of paint peeled off and fluttered to the ground. However, at that moment Bella hardly cared. She twisted the key sharply in the ignition and zoomed off – using the term 'zoom' very loosely as the old truck could hardly push past fifty, or at least, she was advised not to.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Bella drove on, leaving Jacob behind. She couldn't believe how tightly the other clung to the hate that had been seeded within in him. Frankly, it angered her to the point that she'd blown up at him. It was just so frustrating, being caught in between two people she loved – in very different ways of course. She desperately wished that at some point the future Jacob and Edward at the very least could set aside their differences and perhaps become friend, though she supposed the last bit was being a little too wishful. Civil would do just fine.

She finally pulled to a stop in front of her house. Nine o'clock. She hadn't even been gone an hour. Shutting the car door gently – almost as a sort of apology for earlier – she locked the car and then walked into her house.

"Hey, Dad!" she called out, "I'm back!"

"Welcome home, Bella," Charlie shouted back over the noise from the TV. "Dinner was great!"

"I'm glad you liked it," Bella replied as she shrugged out of her coat, hanging it up in the closet before setting her keys down on the table by the front door. Then the phone began to ring. "I'll get it!" She then walked over to the wailing phone and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Bella? It's Alice."

"Oh. Hey, Alice," Bella said, brow furrowing at how breathless the girl sounded at the moment, almost panicked really.

"Edward had a seizure. He's in the hospital."

Bella promptly dropped the phone.

--

**AN: **So, I'm sure what's happening to Edward is rather obvious, no? With all the hints I've put out I'm sure you all know :)

And since I'm review hungry:

-rattles tin can-

Gimme! Two reviews with 100+ views is just cheap! Actually, it lowers my self-esteem. Did you know that? When I get almost no reviews and tons of views it makes me think that I just wrote an awful chapter. Yes. Even if the reviews I got were positive.

So tell me, did the last chapter suck balls?


	6. Hallucinations

**AN: **Mm. China. I went with my buddy to the mall. We shopped, which was pretty damn awesome. I bought this uber cute black vest that has a beaded fish on the back and kitty ears on the hood. I love it so. We also saw Spiderman 3, which wasn't as good as I thought it would be. They totally killed Venom. Where the hell was his long freaky tongue? D: Venom must have the tongue! It is required! Okay. End rant. On with the story.

Oh and just so you people know. I'm not a yaoi Nazi :) I'll have you know that I actually cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, so no, I'm not some anti-straight extremist. I just thought I'd put a little more variety into this section. Too much of one thing becomes boring :)

Fanfiction Messing around with characters that are not yours for entertainment Weird pairings

Oh. I'm in Holland now visiting my Opa and Oma. Gosh. They're going to have to roll me onto that plane on the way back home with the way I'm inhaling pastries here.

Oh you all won't believe where I just went. Yes! I just went to Volterra. It was pretty cool. I ate lunch in the square with the clock and everything. It was a lot browner than I imagined, but it was pretty. There was also a Roman amphitheater. I took loads of pictures of course. The drive there was LONG though and very winding. I was feeling pretty sick by the time we stopped.

And to all those who guessed 'Spanish Influenza', you're close, which really just means I'm being nitpicky about it.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

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**.relapse.**

fifth symptom – hallucinations

--

Never before had Isabella Swan felt as terrified as she was now. The world around her seemed to pass in a blur of color and sound as she drove to the hospital. Her heart was beating so hard and fast that she thought that it might just fly right up and out her throat and splatter against the windshield. However, she wasn't fearing for her own life. No, she was fearing for something far more precious, a person she would give up her humanity for, her life. She feared for Edward Cullen.

When Alice's voice had drifted through the receiver Bella had known that something was amiss, but she'd never imagined that it was of this sort of magnitude. She'd responded almost immediately, dropping the phone and springing into her car, which she was now pushing as fast as the poor thing would go. Bella didn't give a damn about whether her car would function properly after this little 'high-speed' drive.

The old truck sped along the highway under the terrified girl's constant pressuring. She was close to pressing the pedal flat to the floor actually. Her fingers were curled tightly around the steering wheel, so tight that her knuckles had turned white. A cold sweat coated her pale, nearly translucent skin – in Edward's opinion at least – and the sour taste of fear was strong upon her tongue.

Her stomach churned uncomfortably as she slipped off the highway. What state was Edward going to be in when she saw him? Alice's voice had made the situation sound like this was perhaps the last time Bella would see her boyfriend move. She desperately hoped that this was not the case.

'_Edward will be fine,'_ she reassured herself, or at least tried to as she pulled into a vacant space in front of the hospital. _'He's indestructible. He won't die. He won't die. He'll live.'_ She swiftly moved to the front of the hospital and pushed the doors open, stepping into the bright, sterile building.

The last time Bella had set foot inside a hospital she'd been the injured one and Edward had been the one doting on her, but now the roles were reversed and Bella found herself completely unprepared for it. How did Edward manage this? Every time she fell? Hit herself on the head because of tripping over her own feet? How could he stand just feeling so helpless, sitting around in this whitewashed sterile waiting room, waiting for someone to notice him, praying that the person he loved wasn't going to die?

It was maddening Bella finally decided. She felt her heart twist and her stomach churn as she took a step across the linoleum tiles only to stop and turn back. Panic was setting in. By now her heart was thrumming so loudly that she was sure even the humans around her could hear it. She most certainly could at least.

She swallowed, mouth feeling dry, palms feeling damp, and skin clammier than it had ever been. Spying a nurse, she quickly tried to compose herself and walk up to the woman, but a strong hand fell down upon her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. Her eyes bulged as a scream rose up in her throat, coming out as nothing more than a squeak as her throat closed up. At a speed that could've matched Edward's, Bella whirled around, looking much like a deer caught in a pair of headlights.

However, her fear was all for nothing as it was only Emmett. Letting out a shaky breath, her hand went to rest upon her racing heart. A small smile tugged at her lips. It was a bit funny that likeable, cheerful Emmett of all people had startled her. However, he didn't seem so cheerful at that moment with his lips set into a tight frown, face etched with worry, skin even whiter than usual, eyes the color of burnt gold.

"Don't scare me like that, Emmett," Bella said as she sucked in another breath in hopes of calming her nerves.

"Sorry," he murmured in an almost sheepish manner.

There was a moment of silence as Bella's mood turned serious again. "How's Edward?" she asked softly in a near whisper.

"He's unconscious right now, but Carlisle said his condition is stable for now," Emmett replied, exhaling loudly. "Jesus. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life," he admitted, "I mean. We were all joking around while watching this corny horror movie and then Edward he just stopped breathing, you know? And of course we didn't think anything of it." He lowered his voice a bit before continuing. "We don't exactly need to breathe after all, but, it wasn't just that. It was like he'd frozen up. Then he suddenly started convulsing out of nowhere and…" He trailed off, eyes turning down to the ground.

"Where is he now?" Bella asked, causing Emmett's head to jerk back up.

"Oh! Sorry! I'll take you there now!"

Then he whisked Bella away, leading her down the clean white hallways and into an elevator. Emmett had insisted that it would be safer to take the elevator than the stairs considering Bella's unfortunate ability to trip over everything as well as nothing at all. They didn't exactly need another person admitted to the hospital that day.

It didn't take long before they arrived in front of room one hundred and eight. Bella could hear people speaking from within in hushed tones. Her eyes flicked over to Emmett, who gave a slow nod. She shakily grasped the door handle, gave it a sharp twist and pushed the door opened, prepared for the worst.

Edward was lying peacefully on the bed, white sheets drawn up to his chest, eyes closed. An oxygen mask had been placed over his nose and mouth. Not that it did much good, but how was the hospital staff to know that breathing was no longer necessary in his case? His arms lay limply by his sides, IV needle stuck in his right hand, ferrying some sort of clear liquid into his body. A heart monitor beeped at regular steady intervals, penetrating the hushed silence that had fallen over the room upon Bella's entrance.

The heart monitor confused her and sensing her puzzlement, Emmet swiftly explained. "Jasper set it up to, uh, beat like that," he said, waving his hand at the heart monitor. "If he hadn't then Edward would be in a body bag right now," he replied with a small laugh. Everyone else remained silent. "Sorry," he murmured, looking down in shame, "Bad joke."

Bella carefully made her way to Edward's bedside. She stared down at his sleeping face, lower lip quivering a bit as she carefully pushed some of the sleeping vampire's copper hair out of his face. A shaky breath escaped her as she felt emotion bubble up within her. It seemed as if this was her fault. She had known something was wrong with Edward, but hadn't told anyone. Maybe if she had Edward wouldn't be lying here right now. God she'd been such a fool!

"He's going to be alright isn't he?" she suddenly asked, looking up at the other vampires gathered in the room. The entire family was there save for Carlisle, who was most likely running around attending to other patients. There was a moment of brief silence as the Cullens looked amongst each other, waiting for someone to speak up. Finally Alice did.

"We don't know," she murmured, hugging herself, looking rather grim. "Carlisle said he's stable now, but he doesn't know what could've caused that seizure. All we can do is hope for a best."

Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Bella nodded, chewing on her lower lip. "So, there's a chance that this could be something serious?" she asked, voice cracking at the end.

"Oh Bella," Alice murmured, pulling the girl into what she hoped was a comforting embrace. "We don't know, but don't worry so much. Edward's managed to survive one of the worst epidemics in history." She offered a small comforting smile and Bella nodded, eyes turned towards the ground.

"I just don't want Edward to die," she mumbled.

"He's not going to die," Rosalie suddenly said, eyeing Bella with obvious distaste. It was almost as if being in the same room as Bella made her skin crawl. "Stop worrying over stupid things," she said with a snort and looked away.

Alice glared at her hotly, while Emmett sighed wearily. "Rose, please," he pleaded.

"Whatever," she said, "I don't understand why _Bella_ needs to be here." She spat the name out as if keeping it on her tongue for too would leave a permanent foul taste behind.

"She has as much right as you to be here, Rosalie," Jasper said softly from his seat on the small couch situated by the window, trying his best to ignore the bombardment of emotions he was receiving to the best of his ability. "And I'm certain Edward would want her to be here when he wakes up."

Silence fell over them again as they stood around the room – save for Jasper who was sitting. Alice finally released Bella from the hug and took a seat beside Jasper. Emmett gave Bella a gentle touch on the arm, hoping to comfort her.

"Where's Esme?" she suddenly asked, seeing the woman nowhere in sight. After all, she'd been standing there moments before.

"I think she went to get you something to drink," Jasper replied. "Hot chocolate I believe." Bella let out a groan. Jasper blinked in surprise. "You don't like hot chocolate?"

"No! I love it!" Bella exclaimed, eyes wide. She then let out a breath and slumped a bit. "It's just that you guys spoil me too much."

"Nonsense!" Alice said, "You're just too stubborn to let people who care about you take care of you."

Bella scowled. "Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too!" Alice pressed.

"Am not!" Bella pressed back.

Their little battle would've gone on for quite some time if a soft groan hadn't diverted their attention. Heads snapped round to look at Edward's stirring form. His fingers curled weakly around the sheets as he slowly came to. Lips parted to let out another soft groan as his eyelids fluttered and then finally opened.

"Nngh… My head…" Edward mumbled, closing his eyes again. It felt as if he'd just been whacked in the head with a wrecking ball. A sharp jolt of pain shot through his temple. Make that multiple times. His mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton and everything felt heavy, much heavier than normal.

"Edward!" Bella exclaimed, rushing to the other's side, overjoyed that the love of her life had finally woken. She nearly pulled him into a near bone-crushing hug, but managed to restrain herself. Quelling her excitement, she let her fingers run through his soft velvety hair again. "How're you feeling?"

"Like Emmett's run me over with a truck," Edward replied in a tired voice, letting his eyes close momentarily. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital," Alice said as she walked over to the side of the bed as well along with Jasper. It didn't take long before everyone was huddled around Edward.

"Why?" Edward asked, frowning when he saw the oxygen mask on his face. Not even bothering to ask whether he could take it off or not, he went ahead and pulled it off, letting it drop to the sheets.

"You had a seizure, Edward," Jasper said softly. At this response Edward pulled a face of obvious confusion and puzzlement. Seizure? Could vampires even have seizures? Well, apparently they could and he was exhibit A.

"You don't remember it?" Bella asked.

Edward shook his head. "No. I don't." There was a short pause. "Where's Carlisle?" he asked.

"Right here."

"Speak of the devil," Emmett said when he saw Carlisle step into the room, Esme following soon after, cup of hot chocolate, which she soon delivered to Bella in spite of the girl's vehement protests, in hand.

"You shouldn't have gotten me this," Bella said as she finally took the piping hot cup. Esme smiled sweetly.

"You seemed like you could use it. Chocolate is comfort food isn't it? Plus a little warming up is always nice isn't it?" she said in that maternal tone of hers. Really, Esme was quite the motherly figure.

"Thank you," Bella said finally and went to take a sip, but Edward's voice stopped her.

"Wait till it cools down at little, Bella. I don't want you to scald your tongue," he said with a small smile. Blushing, Bella took the cup away from her lips as the rest of the Cullens laughed.

"So, Edward," Carlisle said after the laughter had died down, "How're you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess," he replied, "My head feels like it's about to explode though." He winced as a painful throb rose up in his temple.

"Anything else bothering you?" Carlisle asked. Edward shook his head. The doctor sighed. "I see. Well, you certainly gave us a scare there. I know you've been vomiting quite a bit lately. Have you experienced any other abnormalities?"

"No," Edward said curtly. Bella scowled, shooting the other a nasty look.

"He's fallen asleep nearly every day this week," she said, ignoring the look Edward gave her.

"Asleep?" Carlisle repeated, brow furrowing. Bella nodded. "As in, he was unconscious? You're sure?" Another nod. "This is very unsettling. I don't know what to make of it."

Bella's heart sank, hope that had been welling up in her chest quickly squashed beneath the weight of Carlisle's words. "So, you don't know what's wrong with him?"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Edward snapped, growing tired of this constant talk about his health. He was a vampire for crying out loud! His 'health' really wasn't much of an issue anymore. He figured that had been a given since he wasn't nestled in a wooden box six feet under.

"Edward," Alice very nearly growled, face twisted into a rather threatening expression, "There is most certainly something wrong with you! Accept it and it'll save us the trouble of chaining you down to that bed."

"Woah! Scary Alice," Emmett observed with a small shudder. He quickly shut up when Alice glared hotly at him.

"Edward, I found you curled up on the bathroom floor sick as a dog!" Alice said, nearly pleading with the boy to see reason, but Edward's stubbornness even put mules to shame! "Let us help!"

"I don't need any help because I'm not sick," he snapped, growing more irritable with each passing moment. His head was throbbing painfully, each pulse of pressure and pain making his jaw lock tighter and tighter until he was completely rigid.

"Edward! Stop being so stubborn!" Bella hissed, growing increasingly more frustrated with her boyfriend's obstinate actions and mindset. "All we want to do is help! Please Edward!" Now she too was pleading with him, trying to get him to see reason.

Her words made him open his mouth to speak and then swiftly close it, forcing him to fume in silence. Well, it wasn't exactly the sort of response Bella had hopped for, but it was a step in the right direction. She let out a small breath of relief, but it was short-lived.

"Argh!" Edward doubled over in pain, fingertips digging into his temples, nails threatening to pierce the armor-like skin he possessed. He hissed loudly, trembling form curling up, knees drawn up to his chest.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Carlisle demanded, expression stony as he quickly appeared at the other's side.

"My—" He cut himself off with a loud snarl that was clearly pained. "My head! It's—" Another snarl followed by some thrashing. The pole to which the IV bags were attached rattled loudly in response to the boy's sudden jerking.

"Emmett! Jasper!" Carlisle snapped, "Help me hold him down!" A second passed without movement. "Now!" the doctor snarled, his usual calm composure shattered by panic. After all, this was Edward who was in trouble. Although he'd never say it aloud, Edward was most certainly his favorite.

Jasper and Emmett reacted quickly after the snarl. They swiftly grasped Edward's arms and legs, pushing them down onto the bed. After all, who knew what sort of damage could result if the youngest – well in appearance anyways – of the Cullens was left to thrash about on the hospital cot. Of course, Edward's body was just as stubborn as ever and didn't seem as if it would be going down without a fight.

The thrashing continued, growing more and more violent with each passing second as the pain hammering itself against the inside of Edward's skull intensified. He trembled, convulsing as he felt his stomach twist itself into a nauseating knot. Bile rose up into the back of his mouth and he quickly swallowed it back down, moaning pitifully as it burned his esophagus.

His body's struggles suddenly seemed to cease as his muscles began to relax as the pain dulled down. Edward grunted softly and weakly pushed against Jasper and Emmett's strong hands.

"Let go," he whispered on a shuddering breath, feeling even more nauseous than ever before. "I think I'm going to be sick." Well, both Jasper and Emmett quickly moved out of the way after that little revelation.

Suddenly he felt something cool press against his belly, which had somehow become exposed, hospital pajama shirt unbuttoned. A soft hiss escaped him as he squirmed around, agitated by the sudden chill.

"It's only me, Edward," Carlisle murmured, "I'm just checking for abnormalities." Edward stilled a bit then. It was uncomfortable, the constant prickle of cold, but he decided that he'd just have to bear it for the time being. It wasn't like he had much of a choice actually. He was sure Carlisle wouldn't hesitate to have Jasper and Emmett pin him down to that bed again.

His eyelids fluttered and finally opened, peering upwards at where he assumed Carlisle would be. However, he couldn't see the doctor anywhere. Instead he saw a terrible monster, one with a slimy elephant-like trunk that was touching his stomach. Its piercing yellowish eyes were fixed upon him and teeth that glinted like poised daggers peeked out from underneath its bloodied lips. Its greenish skin seemed to melt, running down in sluggish rivulets, marring the humanoid face. As slices of that gruesome mass began to peel away blood began to bubble up, spurting outwards as if the mounds of gurgling crimson were erupting volcanoes. The white medical coat that the monster wore was covered in blood, pus, and other bodily fluids that Edward didn't even want to think of. It was too disgusting.

Edward felt his stomach churn even more forcefully as his eyes took in the nauseating site. When a few drops of blood splattered against his face he was sure that he'd throw up again. It was a bit ironic; the thing he'd been living off of for over a century was suddenly making him ill. Shaking very much like a terrified child, he found himself unable to move even an inch. He couldn't even make himself breathe. A lump of fear quickly formed in his throat, choking off any sound he tried to make. He was petrified.

However, when that creature's runny face moved towards his own, teeth gnashing, Edward found the sudden strength within him to lash out. He let out a feral snarl as he let his palm connect sharply with the creature's slimy cheek. Its skin turned to mush beneath the impact and blood spurted out in great gushing jets. Red fluid flowed freely down his pale hand and the greenish goo that was the creature's skin began to swallow his fingers up. Eyes wide with shock, he flailed about, trying to pull his hand free. Then he saw the monster's fingers, rows of sharp, bloody syringes moving towards him.

"Get away from me!" he screamed as he tried his best to knock those ghastly fingers away. "Bella!" he sobbed, venom trickling down from the corners of his eyes, tears laden with fatal poison.

The slime creature let out a bellow, exposing those razor-sharp teeth. They were stained a permanent red and Edward could see bits and pieces of flesh nestled in between the jagged daggers. Then he felt two sets of clawed hands atop him, pinning him down with enough force to crush a human's bones. He could see two more ghastly creatures in addition to the slime monster.

The one to his left was a large with arms and legs as thick as tree trunks and mammoth hands. A thick layer of dark fur that was matted with some sort of sticky foul-smelling substance covered most of the creature's body. There were only a few visible patches of dark almost-black skin on its muzzle and face. The beast had a shaggy reddish brown mane that clung to the side of its face, stopping at its jaw. However, in the back it continued down to create a short bushy tail. Almost like a skunk really. It had the same piercing yellow eyes, though these were a few shades darker, a sort of poisoned ocher. Long blackened claws jutted out from the tips of its thick, hairy fingers. On the underside of its hands there were black pads much like an animal's paws would have and these were cracked and leaking a pussy sort of yellow fluid onto Edward's arms. Its black lips were curled back in a sort of angry grimace, rows upon rows of rotten incisors flashing. A long slice had been made across the front of its immeasurable girth, causing its bloody black innards to tumble out, forming a small pulsing pile in a puddle of acid on the floor.

Edward's stomach heaved once more when he saw the beast. It was more gruesome that the creature with the melting skin. He didn't even want to imagine what the thing looked like while it walked, intestines dragging behind it.

However, the other monster was equally gruesome with its marred and torn flesh hanging off of it in ribbons and sunken skeletal face. Chunks of skin seemed to have been ripped out, exposing the bones beneath. Blood poured out in waterfalls from these gaping holes, the crimson liquid falling to the floor with sickening splats that echoed in Edward's mind. The corpse-like creature was thin, ghastly thin. Its bones protruded through what bruised flesh remained. Long fingers that were so white and thin they might as well have just been bone held Edward down. The monster's pasty, bruised cheeks were swimming in a torrent of blood that had come from the dark holes where its eyes had once been. The soppy mess of transparent jelly and goop from the destroyed eyes remained embedded in those large holes, eyelids hanging limply over nothing.

Edward tried to jerk away from the monster, feeling sicker than ever. A cold sweat had broken out over his body, causing the pajamas he was wearing to cling to his damp skin. He shivered, feeling his belly tighten when he saw the streaks of blood on his arms. Where had that blood come from? He tentatively looked at those white fingers and saw that the tips weren't as white as he'd first thought. The nails had been ripped clean off, allowing the blood to spill out.

"Get away!" he shouted again, resuming his struggles, reaching up to claw at whatever he could get to. He heard snarls, growls, and ear-splitting wails, but he didn't pay any attention to them. All he cared about was getting away.

He felt a soft touch against his neck and jerked away, squirming about more vigorously in order to keep whatever had touched him from doing it again. The corpse-like monster pressed its palm to Edward's cheek, forcing him to be still. However, that wouldn't make him give up. He would not resign himself to a fate such as this, so he resorted to one of the more primitive forms of attacks. He bit.

A hiss of pain reached his ears as he dug his own sharp teeth down into the thin thumb, grinding them down against the bone, trying to snap it in two. He might've been just about to do that with his powerful jaws when he felt a sharp prick in his neck.

His grip on the thumb slackened, entire body going limp. Edward weakly cracked open his eyes, which had been previously scrunched shut – by now the corpse monster had escaped – and looked up into the hideous face of the slime creature. He let out a low groan, eyelids sagging, vision swimming. Suddenly Carlisle's concerned face replaced the slime monster's. Edward squinted as Carlisle and the slime monster continued to switch places.

"Who are you?" he mumbled tiredly right before everything went black.

--

**AN:** Damn this took a long time to finish. About nine pages on Word, which I guess is pretty good no? Mm. Probably should've written more considering the amount of time it's taken. Bah. I'm just lazy. Anyways, I don't know how many chapters this is going to be. Oh. Yeah. This is rated M for a reason. Please remember that because I don't need flames because some fool didn't read my author notes and the rating. So yeah, this'll start getting pretty dark later on. No happy-happy for a while after I hit that dark bump. And I'll try and get a good deal of the chapters written and start a sort of updating schedule.

-sets out can-

Reviews for a starving writer?


	7. Fever

**AN:** Urgh. My brain is going to explode if I keep starting on the next chapter right after the other. Oh well. We all know that I'm not going to finish what I start in the future. Bah. I'm just lazy. Leave me be. Plus I've just gotten hooked on Artemis Fowl. Ohmaigawd such a good series! You wouldn't believe how pissed I was when I couldn't finish it because we had to drive somewhere. Yeah. I can't read in the car otherwise I get a headache and extremely nauseous, which isn't good.

And I want to read Eclipse now! And you know what sucks! I can't get it till the twelfth because I'm going to art camp. Aw. But I'm going to send my parents out to get it for me because they know how much I love the series.

Oh. Edward just needs to stop being such a stubborn arse and change Bella already. He's so aggravating sometimes! Yes. Edward Cullen pisses me off to no end at times. Someone seriously needed to slap him when he was emoing in New Moon.

I also need new music. So, if you would kindly provide me with some of your favorites I'd be most appreciative. I need music to write, so yeah.

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**.relapse.**

sixth symptom – fever

--

Everyone was breathing heavily by the time Edward slipped into a drug induced slumber, a thin trail of blood trickling down from his lip to his chin. However, it was quickly wiped off along with the sweat with a damp cloth. Then his shirt was buttoned up again and the covers were pulled over his now still form, for which everyone was thankful for. Having the other sleep was for the best. However, no one had expected the other's condition to be so unstable that Carlisle would be forced to use a sedative to calm the boy.

Everyone was wondering the same thing: What the hell was going on with Edward?

"It seems Edward is suffering from hallucinations," Carlisle murmured, brow knitted in worry. "This is troubling." There was a brief pause as he seemed to mull things over in his head, but then he turned his attention to Jasper. "Jasper, are you alright?" Carlisle asked, eyes settling upon the wounded vampire. He watched as Jasper sucked at the cut on his hand and gave a small nod. "May I see?" There was a small moment's hesitation, but Jasper soon enough held out his right hand for the doctor to examine.

Carlisle frowned as he gingerly took the offered hand. Edward had gotten Jasper good. The wound was small but deep. The skin around it had turned an angry red as blood seeped out in a slow trickle.

"Hold on a moment for me, Jasper," Carlisle said as he snapped on a pair of latex gloves before going back to the wound. He gingerly pressed his index finger to the swollen area around the bite mark, earning a sharp hiss from Jasper.

"That hurts."

Beads of venom – most likely Edward's – were visible in the bite marks. Harmless in theory to a vampire, but irritating just the same as it had caused this sudden swelling. Sighing, Carlisle opened one of the drawers in the small medical cabinet stationed at Edward's bedside and took a small cotton ball and a bottle of antiseptic out. Carefully he unscrewed the top and let a small amount of the bottle's contents spill out onto the cotton ball, which he then applied to the wound while Jasper stared in confusion.

"Better safe than sorry," Carlisle explained, "Wouldn't want you getting an infection of some sort. After all, mouths aren't exactly the cleanest places when it comes to bacteria." He then tossed the used cotton ball into the bin and pulled out a roll of bandages. Wrapping up Jasper's hand was done swiftly and meticulously. "It'll stay swollen and irritated for a while because of Edward's venom, but you'll be good as new in a few days."

"Okay," Jasper said as he looked down at his hand. Great. Now the humans at school would be swarming all over him, asking what had happened. All that blood so close to him, the thought of it frightened him and made his stomach rumble at the same time. How horrible.

Carlisle must've sensed the other's dread for school the following day as the doctor then made a suggestion. "Perhaps it would be for the best if you remained at home until your hand heals. Is that alright with you Jasper?"

"Yes." There was a small pause.

"You should probably go and hunt now," Carlisle said softly. Jasper nodded. He knew full well of the hunger rising up from the pit of his belly. It also didn't help that Bella was so close by with her heart still pumping that tantalizing blood through her veins.

"I'll go with you," Alice said as she took Jasper's uninjured hand. She offered a small reassuring smile to Bella. "Don't worry, Bella. Edward's going to be fine. He'll be showing off for you soon enough. We both know that he loves to do that." However, deep down, Alice was just as concerned as Bella was. Everyone was.

"Yeah," Bella said with a small smile, blush rising to her cheeks.

"We'll be back soon," Jasper murmured, keeping his eyes away from Bella. No need to look at those pulsing veins right now. "Don't worry yourself too much. Edward's stubbornness will pull through," he said in a reassuring tone, letting a soft tendril of calm reach out towards the worried girl in hopes of easing her anxiety.

Bella let out a soft sigh as calm enveloped her in a soft, warm blanket of security. "Thanks Jasper."

"My pleasure," he replied with a smile, eyes flicking up for a second before he was whisked out the door by Alice.

Bella couldn't help but smile as she watched the two leave the hospital. However, there was a faint hint of longing in that smile. She wished that she too could walk out with the person she loved, but that was impossible at the moment as Edward was fast asleep on the bed in front of her.

"Bella?" It was Carlisle's voice which snapped her out of her own meandering thoughts.

"Yes?"

"I've been meaning to ask you. How did you get that bruise on your cheek?" Carlisle asked with genuine concern, golden eyes peering at her swollen cheek, which was still an ugly dark brown color.

"Oh. It's nothing," Bella said quickly, letting out a nervous laugh. Oh how she hoped that Carlisle couldn't sense that she was lying. "Don't worry about it. I just fell again."

"Oh Bella. This habit of yours is dangerous," Esme murmured.

"I'm just a natural klutz," Bella said, smiling sheepishly, cheeks pink. Everyone but Rosalie chuckled. Seems the vampire was just as sour as ever. Perhaps even more so after Edward's little episode as she merely snorted.

"I'm going home," she said curtly before briskly walking out the door.

"Rose!" Emmett called out after her, but only got the slamming of the door in response. He turned to Bella and offered an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Bella. I'll see you later." He then broke out into a full out grin and pulled her into a great big bear hug.

"Don't snap her in half now, Emmett," Esme scolded.

"I'm fine," Bella squeaked as she was lifted up off the ground. "Emmett. Down. Please?"

"Sure," Emmett said, laughing softly as he set her back down on her two feet. "Don't look so down all the time. You're like a little sister to me and I don't like seeing my baby sister all glum." His grin grew even more as he ruffled her hair before darting off to search for his runaway wife with one last 'see ya'.

"I should go too," Carlisle said with a small sigh. "Still have patients to attend to." He moved towards the door and was about to turn the doorknob when he turned towards Bella. "That was a pretty heavy dosage. It's about ten times what you received after your run in with James."

"Wow," Bella said. Carlisle chuckled.

"I suppose so, but it means that Edward won't be waking up for a while. However, you're welcome to stay as long as you like. I'll tell the nurses that you're an exception to visitor's hours, but don't push yourself. Plus we wouldn't want your father to get worried. It's already rather late."

"Thank you," Bella said, extremely grateful. At the mention of Charlie she nodded. "I didn't really give him much of an explanation when I left. I should probably call him."

"Yes. That would be for the best," Carlisle said before stepping out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

"You're welcome to use my phone," Esme said as she pulled a small silver cell phone out of her pocket.

"Oh no! I couldn't," Bella said, "I mean. There's a pay phone back in the waiting room. I can just use that."

"I insist. Don't worry about using up my minutes or anything silly like that. I hardly ever use this phone for much," Esme said with a light-hearted laugh. Bella blushed as using up Esme's minutes had been exactly what she'd been afraid of doing.

"Okay," she finally said, admitting defeat as she hesitantly took Esme's phone, flipped it open, and called her father.

Her conversation with her father was more or less as she'd expected. Not even a second after she'd spoken into the receiver her father was bombing her with questions, asking where she'd gone at this hour of the night, if she was okay, what was going on, why she hadn't told him where she was going. The usual bombardment of questions. Of course, it took forever before he finally let her speak, but it happened and she answered all of his questions. She'd hoped that her dad would be understanding and let her stay with Edward for a bit, but that idea was thrown out the window when he demanded that she get home right that minute.

Sighing, she hung up the phone and handed it back to Esme, dejected expression her face. "My dad wants me home," she murmured, arms falling to her sides, shoulders slumping. Esme offered a sympathetic smile.

"There wouldn't be much excitement tonight anyways. All Edward is going to be doing is sleeping." Edward seemed to snore a bit louder at that point as if to emphasize what Esme was saying. "So go home and get some rest so you won't be sleeping in class tomorrow. You can come here after school. Edward should be waking up around then," Esme said in that motherly fashion of hers. Bella couldn't find it in her to protest and nodded.

"Alright. Good night," she said, casting another glance at Edward.

"Would you like a moment alone?" Esme asked, her own gaze following Bella's. Really, it was rather obvious that the girl wanted to say goodnight to the sleeping vampire, but was perhaps to shy to do so in front of Esme. Well, it certainly seemed to be the case as Bella gave a small nod, cheeks flushing crimson. "I though so," the mother figure in the Cullen family said with a serene smile upon her features. "Don't keep your father waiting for too long though." Then Esme gracefully strode out the door as well, leaving Bella alone with Edward.

It took a few moments after the door clicked shut for the umpteenth time for Bella to realize that she and Edward were alone. She stood there dumbly for a moment before swallowing and moving to stand at the sleeping boy's bedside.

He looked so peaceful there, golden eyes shut, bronze hair splayed out across the white pillow. It was hard to believe that not too long before he'd been thrashing about like a caged animal trying to escape. Bella couldn't deny it. The Edward she'd seen then had frightened her. His expression had been the same as the one he'd had when he'd struck her across the face earlier that day. Her cheek seemed to throb in a sort of reminder. Had she really done the right thing by hiding the truth? Had Edward been hallucinating then too? It was more than likely so, but shouldn't she have disclosed that information to Carlisle? She wasn't sure.

Sighing, she turned away from the beautiful boy on the bed and walked towards the door. She flicked off the light and was about to leave when something stopped her. Something was urging her to turn back around and return to Edward's side. It was tugging at her, pulling at her heartstrings, whispering persuasively in her ear. Finally she turned her head back and the moment she saw the vampire completely bathed in moonlight she couldn't help but return.

It had been a stunning sight to say the least. Edward was even more beautiful in the moon's pale silver light. It made his skin glow in an ethereal way, made his hair sparkle and gleam in a way that would make any supermodel jealous in an instant. Really, Edward was too perfect to describe in words. Bella certainly couldn't find the right one to describe how gorgeous he was in that moment – not that he wasn't always gorgeous, but whatever.

She couldn't stop herself as she let her fingers run through those silky coppery locks. No knots. She should've expected just as much from the perfect creature before her. It still puzzled her why Edward had chosen her when he could've had someone as beautiful as Rosalie. After all, she was just an ordinary girl, a Plain Jane so to speak. There wasn't anything special about her. Or at least that was what she thought. Edward seemed to obviously think otherwise as he'd seemed to have fallen head over heels for her. Okay, maybe her immunity to Edward's – and a lot of vampire's – powers made her a little bit special, but still.

Carefully, she let her fingers slip downwards, skating over his smooth blemish-free skin, marveling at how it glowed. Her brown eyes followed her fingers, mapping Edward's face with both sight and touch. Before long her fingers were tentatively resting at the corner of the boy's lips. Her mind willed her to go on, reassuring her that Edward had been shot full with enough drugs to keep him under for quite some time. It didn't take long before she gave in.

Edward's lips weren't as soft as she'd thought them to be, but then again, she couldn't really trust her brain when he was kissing her. After all, he had that awful habit of dazzling her with every little thing he did. Each and every one of his graceful movements left her in awe and perhaps with a tad bit of jealousy too. Bella wished that Edward would hurry up and change her so that she could enjoy the same grace and beauty. However, Bella couldn't help but have a sinking feeling that she'd still be a klutz, vampire or not.

In any case, his mouth wasn't as soft as she'd remembered it to be, though it didn't really bother Bella much. However, when Edward's lips moved moments after the pads of her fingers had come to rest upon them, she couldn't help but let out a squeak of surprise. The other's sharp teeth were now visible, glinting dangerously in the moonlight. Feeling a jolt of fear run through her, she jerked her hand back and stared.

Curiosity gripped Bella in the moments that followed. She found herself wanting to touch those glittering razors. She'd seen them before, been so close to them that only the barrier of Edward's lips kept her safe from them, but in that moment she really wanted to touch them, to see if they were just as sharp as they appeared.

Her fingers trembled slightly as they reached out towards the vampire's teeth. They were mere centimeters from their destination when Bella quickly drew them back. Touching them was a foolish thing to do, but Bella couldn't help herself. Of course, this didn't keep her from berating herself.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Bella said firmly, letting her fingers curl into a fist. Looking would just have to do. There was a small pause. "But satisfaction brought it back," she finished, chewing on her lower lip. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. She'd decided. What was the worst that could happen? Getting turned into a vampire? No problem! She'd been trying to get that for months now anyways.

Leaning down to get a better view of what she was doing, she carefully let her index finger reach out again, but once more she stopped short of her goal. However, it wasn't by her own volition. No. Edward had stopped her.

Bella let out a startled squeak as Edward's fingers curled around her wrist, keeping her fingers away from their destination. His body shuddered slightly as he exhaled heavily in a sort of tired sigh. It took a moment before he spoke.

"What are you doing, Bella?" he mumbled, eyes still closed. His voice was thick with sleep and his words were slightly slurred thanks to the drugs that should've kept him out cold for another twelve hours at the very least.

"You're awake?" the very surprised girl squeaked, eyes wide. How could he possibly be awake after having those drugs pumped into him? And more importantly, was he going to flip out on her like he flipped out on Emmett and Jasper? It was odd. She'd been constantly pestering him to bite her, but right now the last thing she wanted was for Edward to sink his teeth into her. After all, if his jaws had really done what they'd done to Jasper then she didn't even want to think about what they could do to her.

"Mm. I suppose so seeing as I'm replying to your question," Edward replied in the same sluggish fashion as before. His tongue was heavy in his mouth, causing the words to come out mumbled and soft. Actually, barely audible in Bella's case. Unlike the Cullen's, she hadn't been blessed with superhuman hearing, so she had to strain her ears to hear Edward.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, easily sliding her wrist out of Edward's hand, which flopped down to rest limply upon the bed.

"Tired," he said as he held back the urge to yawn. He grunted as he shifted about a bit, trying to make himself more comfortable. The hospital bed, which had seen a great deal of years, squeaked unpleasantly. He winced. Maybe it would've been better for him to just have stayed still. After all, he was tired enough that he'd have even slept on a slab of lumpy rock and not given a damn. Lying down was heaven in itself. No mattress required.

"I figured as much. Carlisle shot enough drugs into you to knock out a baby elephant for days," Bella said with a wry smile. Edward chuckled once, smiling as well.

"Is that so? Well, that explains it," he murmured. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "But it doesn't explain why your fingers were almost in my mouth." Bella blushed vividly, glad for the darkness even though Edward could probably still see her blush as if it were still daytime. Stupid vampire vision.

"Um." She hastily tried to come up with some sort of excuse, buying herself a few seconds with that ever so useful place word. An almost plausible excuse had just popped up in her head when Edward sent all her quick thinking to trash bin.

"The truth, Bella," he said.

"Who said I was going to lie," Bella demanded, crossing her arms in a defensive manner. Edward laughed at this outburst of hers. It was rather amusing really.

"Bella, you forget that I'm very good at reading people. Although I can't see into your head I still know quite a bit about what goes on inside that head of yours," Edward replied, feeling rather proud of himself when he heard Bella finally sigh in defeat.

"Fine. Fine," she grumbled, "I was just overcome with the urge to touch your teeth."

"I'm sorry. What?" Edward asked, brow furrowing as his eyes finally opened. Her words puzzled him. After all, why on earth would anyone in their right mind want to touch a predator's teeth? "I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say that you wanted to touch my teeth?"

"Yes," Bella squeaked, blushing even more. It was almost as if all the blood in her body had just decided to rush to her cheeks.

"Why?" Edward asked, completely flabbergasted. Really, sometimes Bella had the oddest urges.

"I don't know. I guess I was curious to see how sharp they really were," she muttered, squirming around beneath Edward's gaze, which she refused to meet by the way.

"And I suppose you just happened to forget that my teeth are all coated in venom?" he asked. Bella nodded and Edward let out a sigh of exasperation. "What am I going to do with you, Bella?" By now he could feel the heat radiating from Bella's face, which was now the same shade of red as fresh brick.

"I was just curious," she grumbled, hugging herself now as she shifted her weight from one for to the other.

"Curiosity killed the cat," the bed-ridden boy reminded Bella.

"And satisfaction brought it back," she shot back, quite tired of hearing that expression.

"But you're not a cat."

"You think?" Her tone was obviously sarcastic. It seemed that the constant rush of embarrassment had left her rather irritable. Plus it had been a long day and she might've been a little cranky as well. However, this quickly shut Edward up. The guilt came swiftly enough afterwards. "Sorry, Edward," she murmured, head hung in shame.

"No. It's okay. I got what was coming to me." He sighed. "But please, Bella, don't go sticking your fingers in my mouth while I'm asleep. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I know. It was a stupid idea."

"It was."

"Hey! You're not supposed to agree with me," Bella exclaimed.

"Sorry," Edward replied with a soft laugh. However, he quickly stilled when he saw the dark bruise on the girl's cheek and a scowl appeared on his face. "What happened to your cheek?"

Bella stiffened. Did Edward not remember? How could he not remember? After all, he'd been the one who'd done that! Now this left her with two options. She could tell him the truth and fill him with even more self-loathing than he already had or lie and save them both a whole lot of agony. She opted for the latter.

"I fell again," she answered with a goofy-looking grin.

"You really make falling a habit don't you?"

"I guess so. I mean, it happens at least once every day."

"Are you alright? It looks painful," Edward said in a worried tone. Bella laughed cheerily.

"Oh no. I'm good. It's just a bruise. Completely forgot about it until you mentioned it."

'_Liar,_' a voice from the back of her mind sneered. Of course she hadn't forgotten about it. How could she forget it? After all, it could very well be the most painful injury she'd ever received. Edward had given it to her after all. What had possessed him to do that anyways? Had he been hallucinating? Seen something else in her place? However, all this thinking was for another time and she quickly shut the voice up before it could provoke anymore thinking.

Her eyes finally drifted back up to Edward's and found that the vampire's eyes had closed once again. Giddiness welled up within her as she stared at the serene expression the other had. Really, if she hadn't known better then she'd have thought he was nothing more than a normal seventeen year old boy, who just happened to be really sleepy. Smiling to herself, she pressed a soft kiss to Edward's forehead.

The kiss dragged the vampire back up out of the slumber that had seemed imminent at that moment. He offered a small noise in question and let his eyes flutter open for a moment. However, a moment was all he could manage before they slipped shut once more.

"Sleep tight, Edward," Bella said with a grin. There was a small pause before she added, "Don't let the bed bugs bite." Edward merely grunted to that. It seemed that he couldn't be bothered to formulate words at the moment. Bella laughed. "I love you."

A heavy breath left Edward before his eyes opened again and a smile tugged at his lips. "Love you too," he murmured. There was a pause before that smile turned into that crooked grin of his that Bella loved so dearly. "Now gimme a kiss."

Bella couldn't help laughing at the kissy-face Edward made. "How about a please?" she teased.

"Bah. Can't I get away with impoliteness just this once?" he asked.

"Oh fine. Just this once then," Bella replied before leaning down to press a quick good-night kiss to her boyfriend's lips. However, she altered her course at the last minute and kissed Edward's forehead instead.

"How cruel of you," he grumbled, pouting. Of course, he was grinning soon enough.

"That's what you get for being impolite," Bella said as she let her fingers gently brush some of the other's hair back off his forehead. When her fingers touched his skin the smile she'd been wearing quickly faded down into a frown.

Noticing the sudden change in her expression, Edward frowned as well. "Is something wrong, Bella?" he asked. It took a good thirty seconds before he got a reaction out of the girl.

"Oh no," she replied, pulling her hand back, "I just thought you felt warm for a second, but it was just my imagination. Now go get some sleep. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Mm. Okay," he replied, eyes closing again. "Good-night, Bella."

"Good-night, Edward."

--

"Jesus Christ! His temperature is shooting up!"

"Get some ice in here now!"

"What the hell are you doing just standing there? Get Dr. Cullen right now!"

"Where is that ice?"

"I'm here."

"Dr. Cullen! Thank God!"

"He's burning up!"

"Is the ice bath ready?"

"What the hell is Kerry doing? We need more ice!"

"Nearly."

"We have to get him in there now!"

"I'll lift him."

Edward felt himself being lifted up into the air, which jolted him swiftly into a state of consciousness. What was going on and why was the room so hot? It felt as if he was going to fry. Where had this sudden heat come from? It felt as if he'd just been swallowed up in a cloud of lava. Either that or he'd just been stuffed into a cremator. He gasped as the heat intensified within him, flaring up sharply, causing him to writhe in the grasp of the doctor that was holding him.

"Hot damn! One hundred and five degrees? We need to cool him off now!"

The urgency that particular voice carried worried Edward. It certainly didn't comfort him! That was for certain! But one hundred and five degrees? Were they talking about him? No. They couldn't be. It was impossible for his body temperature to go that high, but right now it sure as hell felt like he was exactly that temperature. However, the hands holding him were pleasantly cool. He could feel the chill radiating from them through the sweat-drenched pajamas he wore and his fevered skin sucked up the cold greedily. It wasn't long before he felt just as hot as ever.

Another groan left the feverish boy as he tried to squirm away again, but the doctor held him tightly. Just who was holding him exactly? Because whoever they were they had one strong grip. He tried to open his eyes again. It took a few tries, but finally he managed to pry them open.

The world was a blur at first, muddled and mushy like the lasagna he'd seen in the school's cafeteria on Thursday. Steadily it came back into focus and then back out again. Another groan and a few blinks, the blur of color steadied itself and the room stopped spinning. He squinted against the harsh light that filled the room and tried to make out of the doctor's face through the red fevered haze that had fallen over him.

"Carlisle?" he mumbled, still not quite sure who it was.

"I'm here," the doctor, who Edward had now determined to be Carlisle replied. Edward let out a breath of relief, but that feeling was short lived as a gut wrenching pain gripped him, causing him to curl up as he let out a pained noise.

"Ugh. Wh-what's h-happening to me?" Edward gasped, clutching his belly tightly. It burned. Oh sweet lord. How it burned! "Ow. It hurts." Daggers were being thrown at the walls of his stomach. It felt as if he were going through the change again.

"Everything's going to be fine, Edward. Just hang on a little longer," Carlisle replied, trying to appear as calm as he possibly could in order to reassure the boy writhing in his arms.

"Argh!" Edward let out a cry as the pain intensified. "It hurts!" His belly twisted and twisted along with those millions of daggers that had been planted inside him. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and let out a sob. This was worse than the change! Much worse! It was burning him from the inside out, blackening his innards, scorching them. He imagined his insides melting, sliding down to rest in the pit of his belly, a sea of bubbling liquidated tissue. What an awful thought.

"I know, Edward. I know," Carlisle whispered soothingly to the boy, wishing that he could just numb away all that pain, but he couldn't. All he could do was try to cool the boy's pyretic body down as quickly as possible.

Once he reached the large basin that was filled with ice and water, Carlisle gently set Edward down into it. A shrill shriek left the boy as the cold hit his hot body and he reflexively gripped onto Carlisle's arm. His body shook as he held on tightly, determined not to let the doctor go. However, he held on a little too tightly, nails digging down into the skin of the arm he clung so desperately to.

"No. No. No. No," he repeated, shaking his head furiously as he struggled to pull himself out. The cold burned his skin more than the heat had and the ice cubes clung to him like leeches.

Carlisle didn't flinch when he felt Edward's nails dig down into him. Even though the stinging in his arm was unpleasant, it was bearable and just a mild irritation really. Carefully, he pulled the boy's hands off his arm while murmuring soothing words in Edward's ear, telling him this was going to make everything better, that everything was going to be fine, that he just needed to bear it a little longer.

Unfortunately, the ice didn't seem to be helping as the boy grew hotter and hotter, more and more feverish. His head was swimming, the world was spinning, and he felt sick to his stomach again. He no longer had any strength to cling to Carlisle and slipped down deeper into the water.

It swallowed him up in an icy embrace, causing his lips to quiver as they turned an unnerving shade of purple. His eyes slid closed as the ice slowly melted around him. The water rose to his chin, bathing him almost completely in frigidity. Thoughts laced with feverish delusions tumbled through his brain and soon he lay completely still in the now almost lukewarm water.

"I'm going to sleep now," he murmured to no one in particular and let out heavy sigh. "I wonder if Mother will recover." There was a moment's pause before he opened his eyes and gazed up at Carlisle. "What do you think?"

A sad smile tugged at Carlisle's lips as he gently ran a hand over the top of his 'son's' head. "She'll be fine," the doctor whispered back, lying for the other's sake. Really, how could he upset a deluded, feverish boy?

"I'm glad," Edward replied with a weak smile before closing his eyes again. He let out one last shuddering breath before slipping into the thick cottony haze of sleep that shielded him from the turmoil of reality.

Once he was sure that Edward was fast asleep, Carlisle checked the other's temperature. He frowned. It was still too high, but much lower than before, which was quite a relief. After telling a nurse to fetch some towels and a new set of pajamas, the elder vampire lifted the sick boy up out of the water, not paying any mind to the fact that his clothes were quickly becoming wet. He set the boy down on one of the towels that the nurse had so kindly provided and gently dried Edward off before redressing him.

Chewing anxiously on his lip, the doctor lifted Edward back up into his arms and returned the now sleeping boy to his hospital room, which really wasn't too far away. The gears in his brain clicked and clacked as they went round, trying to comprehend recent events. How could a vampire succumb to such symptoms? Such human symptoms! It was baffling! And Carlisle didn't like it one bit. This situation reminded him all too much of what had transpired all those years ago. Nearly a century wasn't it?

His brain finally hit a possible hypothesis as he tucked the unconscious vampire into bed. However, it was absolutely ridiculous and had he not been desperate for an answer he'd have probably never even considered it. Then again, this whole situation was ridiculous. A vampire getting a fever? Preposterous! In all his immortal life Carlisle had never thought of anything as impossible as that. Well, he'd thought it to be impossible, but tonight had just proved him wrong.

He checked his watch. A quarter to two. His shift was almost over, but the idea kept nagging at him from the corner Carlisle had shoved it into. He stood dumbly at Edward's bedside, wondering if he should act on his hypothesis and run a test, which was after all simple enough in itself, but there was that possibility of discovering that his idea was clearly too far-fetched and that he'd wasted precious time.

"But aren't I wasting time just standing around here?" he murmured to himself. He gave a nod, answering his own question. Then he carefully pulled a syringe out of the small beside medical cabinet. Finding a nice spot on Edward's arm, he added a tourniquet and then sterilized a spot with a wipe before pressing the needle in.

It slid in easily much to his surprise. Then he remembered that it had gone in quite smoothly earlier than evening as well. Odd. Brow furrowing, he made a quick mental note of it as he drew out some blood and some venom as well, though that was unavoidable.

Once the vial was full, Carlisle slid the needle out and placed a green band-aid on Edward's arm, figuring that the boy might like the particular shade. Tossing the used syringe into the bin, he pulled off his gloves and then tossed them in as well. Then it was off to the lab, to which the doctor proceeded with his carefully-capped vial.

--

It was nearly a quarter past two when Carlisle pulled his eyes away from the microscope, a stunned expression on his face. He rubbed his eyes, squinted for a moment, and then went back to look through the microscope. The doctor pulled away again, expression now one of mixed shock and horror.

"Oh God," he breathed, staring down at the slide upon which Edward's attacker wiggled and squirmed in a pool of red. Carlisle couldn't believe his eyes. What he'd seen on that strip of plastic was something that was familiar yet not at the same time. On there were two sorts of microorganisms on that little slide. One Carlisle knew very well and the other? Well, the doctor was too concerned with the other to care about the one he didn't recognize. He'd worry more about the devil he knew than the one he didn't. A mistake.

He stood up quickly, knocking over the stool he'd been sitting on, adjusted his jacket, and raced out, completely forgetting about turning off the microscope. However, wasting electricity was the least of his problems. He had other more important things to worry about.

Hand shaking slightly, he picked up the nearest phone, which happened to be at a currently empty nurse station. Punching in the numbers at a lightening speed, he waited until there was a click and soft hello.

"It's back," he said softly in a near hiss. "The Influenza. It's back and it's hurting Edward."

--

**AN:** Woah. Twelve pages. That's pretty good for me. Okay. I did start this quite some time ago, but I got lazy and didn't finish it to now. Don't like it? Bite me.

In any case, I'm leaving for camp and won't be back till the 12th of August. Then comes my birthday! Yes! I'm finally turning 15!


	8. Mutation

AN: I know I'm a bitch for making you guys wait like a month for this chapter

**AN:** Sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I've had so much schoolwork these past months. It's been very unpleasant to say the least. Anyways, from now on I'm going to aim to update every other week. We'll see how that works out.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

--

**.relapse.**

complication - mutation

--

Edward slept badly that night. His dreams – he supposed he could call them that even if he wasn't supposed to be able to dream – were plagued by the gruesome faces of those monsters he'd seen earlier and then there was that dreadful heat. The one that made him writhe and squirm on the sheets, which were now soaked through with sweat. His breathing was shallow and labored as his body fought against the sickness that was steadily taking hold. He whimpered and sobbed like a baby as he slipped in and out of consciousness, crying out for his mother for the first time in nearly a century.

It was during the early hours of the morning when Edward finally fell still and silent, slipping into a dreamless sleep. Forehead beaded with sweat and hair tousled and matted, the bronze-haired vampire slept on with an almost serene expression on his face. Every once in a while his cheek would give a slight twitch before falling still again.

Carlisle had kept a watchful eye on the boy, genuinely worried. All he could do now was treat Edward's symptoms and hope for the best. Of course, the situation was rather bleak. A shudder ran through the doctor's body as he heard a sickening wet noise hidden within the boy's soft breaths. Edward's lungs were filling with fluid. Of course, it seemed to not be much of problem as breathing wasn't a necessity for a vampire. Edward was safe for now, fortunately not doomed to the terrible fate of drowning in his own bodily fluids. Too bad the boy's fate was far worse.

Back in the hospital's laboratory, a chilly room located on the lowest level, small microorganisms wriggled around on a glass slide. These malignant single-cell creatures were what plagued Edward so, attacking his body, causing pain for both the boy and the people around him. Carlisle had been observing them for the better part of the night, in between his frequent visits to Edward's bedside. He was, of course, absent from the laboratory at this time, wiping the sweat off Edward's brow with a cool, damp cloth instead of observing the microorganisms through the microscope. This was rather unfortunate as it rendered him unable to witness the devastating, potentially fatal, mutation that was currently in progress. The influenza that had managed to hide itself away in Edward's body, lying dormant for all those years, was fusing with the unknown strain that Carlisle had previously disregarded as he did not recognize it. This was creating a new virus, a new disease, one that could potentially not have cure.

Not in all his many years as a doctor had he come across what lay on that slide and it was terrifying to say the least. He knew that influenza was constantly mutating, making it quite a bother to treat. After all, the minute a vaccination was created? The virus would alter itself in order to survive. It really was astounding to say the least, shocking really, but for it to have mutated in order to get past Edward's vampire nature? Now that was alarming.

He'd watched both the young and old die during that dreadful year of 1918. He'd watched their bodies and spirits slowly wither away, heard their screams of agony and their cries for help. He'd been forced to stand by and watch in horror as nurses carted patients who were beyond help off in order to make room for the sea of people waiting to die outside. It was heart-breaking to watch all those people, especially the young ones, writhe about on their hospital beds, drowning in their own bodily fluids.

Carlisle let out a soft breath as he finished cleaning off the last bit of sweat that beaded Edward's forehead. Well, sweat really wasn't the precise term considering all those human body fluids had long since disappeared from his body. Instead venom was oozing out of the boy's pores, trickling over the white, marble skin.

"Edward," he said with a sigh as he drew away. "You make me wonder if putting you through the pain of the change was really the right thing to do." Falling silent, Carlisle mulled this over. Had he truly done the honorable thing by saving Edward from death? Of course, as it stood now, it seemed as if he'd only succeeded in prolonging the other's eventual demise. Had the pain truly been worth the past century? A century that Edward had spent most of without a partner?

Setting the cloth, which was now warm from resting against Edward's oddly hot skin, in the plastic bowl he'd filled with water, the doctor gazed down at the sleeping boy, marveling at how serene Edward looked in this moment even though his lungs were filling up with fluid. He shuddered as he heard the wet sound nestled within the boy's gentle breathing become more distinct.

The water in the plastic bowl had turned warm and Carlisle figured that it was time to refill it with cool water. Warm water really wasn't going to do much when it came to cooling. He gave the sickly vampire one last glance before exiting the room, bowl in hand. The doctor would return in a few moments with fresh water and return to wiping the fever away. He'd repeat this process many more times that night, only stopping when the boy's condition improved drastically.

Edward felt refreshed when he woke up at noon. He couldn't remember much of what had happened the previous night. As far as he was concerned, he'd seen Bella and gone to sleep without waking up once. In any case, he was still thankful for the shower Carlisle allowed him to take and the clean pair of silky, pale green pajamas – Alice had gone shopping yet again. Being covered in sweat wasn't exactly the most appealing thing on the planet, but at least his fever had disappeared along with all his other symptoms. Odd as this was, Carlisle decided to accept the miracle for what it was and move on.

The rest of the Cullens were of course overjoyed upon Edward's arrival back at home. It didn't take long for Bella to roll up in her rusty, old truck and throw her arms around the love of her life. She'd been so worried that she hadn't gotten much sleep – if any – and it showed. There were dark circles under her brown eyes and she seemed slightly paler that usual. Edward noticed this of course.

"Bella, you don't look well," he remarked in a worried tone, cupping her cheek in the cool palm of his hand.

Smiling sheepishly, Bella placed her warm hand over his. "I didn't get much sleep last night," she admitted, "I was too worried about you."

"It's my job to worry about you, not yours to worry about me." He then pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. She shivered as his marble lips brushed her skin. "I'm indestructible, remember?"

Bella found that she had to force a smile in response to this. "I know, but… I worry, Edward… I love you, you know…"

"Yes. Yes. I know." He kissed her forehead once more, tenderly caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I love you too, darling. The world would be awfully bleak without you. I don't think I would be able to survive."

"Don't talk like that," Bella said, her expression turning even more serious, lips turning into a frown. "Don't you dare talk like that."

"But it's true," Edward insisted. "I wouldn't be able to live without you."

Pressing her palms to either side of Edward's face, she stared him directly in the eye. "I'll never forgive you if you die because of me." Her gaze turned towards the ground, hands falling away. "I'd never be able to forgive myself…"

The mood had turned sour. Both Edward and Bella had fallen into a state of momentary, silent depression. They merely gazed blankly at their feet, unable to meet each other's eyes. The uncomfortable silence dragged on for quite some time. Finally, the eldest of the two spoke.

"Shall we go out and do something, dearest Bella?" he asked, finally peering up into her face. "As a sort of celebration?" The girl's expression quickly became wary and suspicious. "It won't be extravagant," Edward quickly added, "I promise."

"Right…" Bella said, still rather unsure about the whole thing. She hated it when Edward pampered her.

"Please, Bella? Humor me?" Edward gave her a pleading expression, one she could not refuse. Eventually Isabella Swan gave in with a sigh.

"Fine. Fine. I'll go out on a date with you, but you better keep your promise." Bella tried to look threatening as she said this. Unfortunately, it quickly backfired, leaving Edward in stitches.

"You're adorable, love," Edward finally said after calming down. Bella merely humphed. This elicited yet another one of the vampire's melodic laughs. Kissing the girl briefly, Edward then began to suggest outings. Many of them were rejected within seconds. Bella's idea of 'extravagant' obviously wasn't the same as Edward's.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Edward shook his head. "You are very difficult to please, Miss Swan."

"Hey! _I'm_ not the one trying to spend a small fortune on a date!" Bella shot back.

"Bella, fourteen dollars isn't exactly a small fortune."

"Well, it's still a ridiculous amount of money to shell out for a bad movie."

"Then what's wrong with dinner?"

Bella didn't answer right away, turning slightly pink. "… I feel awkward when I'm the only one eating…"

"I could bring along a grizzly?" Edward joked, grinning broadly.

Bella smiled. "I don't think they'd appreciate having a bloody bear carcass dragged across their floor."

Edward's grin mellowed down into a serene smile. "I suppose you're right. Now what would _you_ like to do?"

"The meadow."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The meadow," Bella repeated. "I want to watch the stars with you in the meadow." Her blush intensified and Edward couldn't help but think about how lucky he was to have such an amazing girl.

"Alright," Edward replied with a small nod, wondering how on Earth they were even going to even be able to see the stars. Forks was Forks no matter what kind of romantic things you had planned.

A thoughtful expression crossed Bella's face for a moment before a devious smirk appeared on her lips. She definitely had something to add.

"By the way, I'm driving."

Edward groaned.

--

It didn't take long for the date to begin. Convincing Charlie took surprisingly little time considering the policeman seemed to have it out for Edward, and Bella's truck had decided to be cooperative for the time being. Bella made sure to praise it throughout the drive by patting the dashboard and cooing sweet encouragements. Edward had to try his hardest to stifle his laughter. He knew it would upset her—along with the rust-bucket they were riding in—and that was something he was trying to avoid. This night had to be perfect.

The grass was soft beneath them and Bella found herself immediately at ease. She let out a happy sigh and let her head fall to rest on Edward's shoulder. Even though the sky was far too cloudy to allow any sort of star-gazing, Bella was content.

"Hey, Edward?" she asked suddenly.

"What is it, love?" Edward gingerly brushed some of her dark hair out of her eyes.

"Now that you're all better…"

"Yes?"

"Well… I was thinking about… you know…"

"Bella, I've already told you this before. I don't want to change you into a monster." Edward's tone was firm yet sad. He hated how Bella wanted to throw away her humanity for him. It made him feel guilty. Sometimes he wondered if he'd done the right thing by starting up this relationship. Sure, it made him happy, but was that enough to justify all the potential dangers?

"No. Not that. I'm talking about…" Bella forced herself to swallow her embarrassment and complete her sentence, "… sex…"

Edward's eyes widened. "Oh." He cleared his throat as an awkward air enveloped the happy couple. "Bella, I love you so much and I want to—_very _badly in fact—but there are too many risks. I could shatter your bones if I lost control. Maybe even worse…"

"You won't lose control," Bella said assuredly. "I trust you, Edward. I really do."

"And it's stupid of you to do so. Just… give me a moment to think, please." Edward then lapsed into a silence pregnant with reflection. It took him several minutes to finally reach a conclusion. "Marry me first."

"Wh-what?" Bella stammered, flushing brick red as she pulled her head up off Edward's shoulder.

Taking Bella's hand in his, Edward repeated himself, "Marry me."

"I… I don't know," the flustered girl hastily replied. "I'm sorry, Edward." She didn't want to end up like her mother, marrying young and dealing with divorce. A part of her knew that Edward was different from Charlie, that the love between them was different than the love between her parents, but she still couldn't shake off a feeling of disgust at the thought of binding herself to Edward forever when _she_ couldn't last forever.

"Ah. I see," Edward said, obvious disappointment lacing his voice.

"It's getting late," she murmured, "I should probably get home. I don't need Charlie worrying again…" An obvious lie.

"Okay," Edward replied even though he knew that it wasn't all that late at all. It wasn't even nine-thirty yet and Charlie had given the go-ahead to stay out until ten-thirty. However, if Bella wanted to go home, he'd take her home. Her happiness was all he cared about. There was a part of him, of course, that was urging him to focus more on his own happiness. The whole 'if she's happy then I'm happy' shtick was getting old fast.

The drive back was awkward and silent. Charlie was also rather surprised to find Bella standing on his doorstep very much ahead of schedule. It didn't take long for his father-instincts to kick in, immediately ushering Bella inside while giving Edward the most venomous glare he could muster. After that Edward was left to escort himself home.

Not even the rush of speed he got while running could soothe his anxiety. He bolted through the forest, the rest of the world merely a blur. Bella's response had upset him. Everything had been going so well! He just had to blurt out marriage! Feeling foolish and angry, Edward tried his best to forget about it. However, the memory refused to dissipate. Instead it continued to play over and over inside his head, aggravating him like a bad song set to replay.

_Stop it_, he growled, willing his brain to quiet. An unpleasant, aggravating buzzing had begun to sound in his ears and the swirl of colors around him was beginning to disorient the vampire. He found himself slowing, eye shut tightly against the waves of nausea slapping against his insides. The world was beginning to spin and Edward found that keeping his balance was proving to be quite a task.

A low, pained moan escaped him as he used a nearby tree for support. The world was spinning faster and faster with each atrocious rotation. Trembling and barely able to stand on his feet, Edward pulled his cell phone from his pocket and began to punch in his home number with quivering fingers. His vision was swimming as he punched in the last number, darkness creeping in fast. Phone slipping from his fingers just as he was about to hit the green call button, Edward collapsed onto the ground.

--

**AN:** Okay. Six pages. I think that's enough for now. Just a reminder, this takes place somewhere around the end of New Moon. So in other words, before Edward proposed. I'll start on the next chapter as soon as I can. I'll probably get distracted by my other ideas, but I'll try my best to stay focused.

Now I'm off to finish reading The Host. It has captured my interest.

Don't forget to review! I'd be lying if I said I didn't like them.


	9. Stalemate

**AN:** I know that I said that I'd update every other week, but I forgot about exams. God I hate them. Thankfully they were pretty easy. Now I just need to worry about the IB… Well, I'm on summer break now, so I'll hopefully be able to update more. Just came back from Italy. I spent two weeks by Lake Como in a small town called Carate Urio. Most beautiful place ever. If you plan on vacationing in Italy then I strongly suggest you spend some time by Lake Como. I also visited my grandparents in Holland. It was very fun.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

--

**.relapse.**

stalemate

--

The damp, wet smell of dirt, moss, and recent rainfall filled Edward's senses as he slowly drifted back into consciousness. His clothes were thoroughly soaked and his soggy copper hair was matted to his glistening marble skin. Head pounding and stomach churning, the vampire slowly pushed himself up onto his knees, ignoring the unpleasant ache the chilly mountain air had left in his joints. Rolling his shoulders round once, the boy stretched with a groan of satisfaction. His joints popped and cracked as the stiffness was forced out of them. A full ten minutes passed before Edward was finally capable of rising to his feet.

Still slightly groggy and completely disoriented, he studied his surroundings. Nothing but trees, mud, and more trees. All he saw was sickeningly vibrant green and bright white light. Bella was right. It really was too green. Rubbing his temples, the boy let out another soft groan, eyes closed. All the colors and smells amplified his unpleasant symptoms. Muttering curses under his breath, Edward used a nearby tree to support himself as he waited for the sudden bout of nausea to pass. Once it passed, he reopened his eyes only to instigate the same nausea once more. He promptly shut them again.

He repeated this process again and again. Each time the nausea returned worse and worse until it finally became nearly unbearable. Falling to his knees, Edward slowly let himself curl up into a ball, arms wrapped around his torso. Where was his phone? He groped around blindly for it, fingers only brushing over mud for the most part. Only when his frustration had reached its peak did he find it. Gently rolling himself onto his side, Edward cracked one eye open and stared at the phone's dark screen. Scowling, he pressed and held the power button. No response.

"Fuck," he muttered, hardly caring about the vulgarity of his language. His head was killing him. Now seemed as good a time as any for such words. Tucking the phone into his pocket, Edward repeated the grueling task of rising to his feet. It took even longer this time, but he managed to resume an upright position. Using various trees for support, he began to pick his way through the forest, navigating using smell and sound. Every so often he'd open his eye a crack to make sure he wasn't walking straight off a cliff.

Edward Cullen wandered for hours, completely at a loss. Where was he? Nothing appeared familiar in the least. Of course, finding a familiar tree in the woods was like trying to find a needle in a haystack when said needle was a needle of hay. In other words, an impossible task. He cursed himself for running off like he had. Thanks to it he'd gotten himself lost in the forest.

"Hello?" he called out loudly as he forced himself to keep walking. "Can anyone hear me?" He was getting desperate. Hopefully someone would find him even though the chance of that happening was very slim indeed.

Thoroughly worn out, the sickly vampire let himself collapse unceremoniously into the dirt. He remained motionless upon the ground, eyes shut, breathing slow and heavy. The pounding in his head dulled and the nausea in his belly abated. Peace fell over his weary frame at last.

Of course, it didn't last long, for Jacob Black was making his usual rounds through the forest: border patrol. The moment he caught a whiff of the vampire, the werewolf sprung into action, tearing through the woods at a breakneck speed, his agile wolf form easily weaving through the dense foliage. His muscles were tense with anticipation. He'd been waiting for a chance to give Edward a piece of his mind ever since Bella had disclosed to him the cause of her bruised cheek. And when Jacob said 'mind', he meant his fist.

The werewolf was thoroughly prepared for a violent confrontation. He'd planned it all out in his mind as he ran. Banter, fight, win. This was his plan. However, things unraveled quite differently and definitely not in a way Jacob had expected nor desired.

Jacob's first thought when he came upon the prone vampire was, _Is it dead? _Edward certainly appeared to be lifeless, lying face down in the dirt, but Jacob Black knew that vampires—unfortunately—couldn't be disposed of so easily. He phased back into his humanoid form, pulled on the pair of trousers he always kept strapped to his leg just in case. It never really bothered him to be naked around the pack, but most of the people living in Washington would've considered his nakedness 'indecent exposure'. It was better to be safe than sorry. Plus Edward Cullen was the absolute _last _person he'd want to see him in the buff.

Carefully, the werewolf crept towards Edward and began to investigate. It only took a few moments of listening to the bronze-haired vampire's soft breathing before Jacob concluded that Edward Cullen was still alive. Then was he merely asleep? He definitely didn't appear to be conscious, but vampires weren't capable of sleeping. At least, they _shouldn't_ be.

Confused, Jacob Black plopped onto his bottom and stared in silence. He then began to prod the vampire, fingers running over the milky white skin, which felt hotter than normal as well as slightly damp. Pulling his fingers away, the werewolf sniffed them, wondering what this fluid was. He made a face as the too sweet aroma flooded his nasal passages.

"Gross," he muttered, "You leaked all over my hand, leech." He then proceeded to wipe his hand off on Edward's shirt. Although conscious, Edward couldn't muster enough strength to tell Jacob to kindly stop using his shirt as a handkerchief and leave him alone. The lack of a response seemed to give the other boy the green light to keep prodding.

Jacob rolled Edward onto his back, peering at the seemingly asleep boy with curiosity. Cocking his head to the side, the werewolf wondered if the soft pink tint to Edward's cheeks was really there or if he was just imagining it. He hoped it was the latter because this sudden color in the other's face made him appear more—dare he say it?—human.

His heart softened as this particular observation surfaced. Suddenly, the world around him, all the trees and shrubs, the dirt, everything, melted away, leaving only Edward Cullen and himself. The slumbering vampire was the only thing that mattered and a certain fondness for said vampire was growing deep within Jacob, blossoming with every passing second. The werewolf wanted to pull his eyes away, but found himself unable to do so. Every fiber of his being _screamed_ for Edward! Just the other's presence was enough to make him feel at ease, but Jacob wanted _more_! He wanted to touch and be touched, hold and be held, and maybe even love and be loved.

Jacob was frightened by this sudden burst of affection and want. His body felt unusually hot and it bothered him immensely. He knew what had just happened although he tried to convince himself that it wasn't that, that he couldn't have possibly imprinted on the leech! After all, he'd run into Edward many times before now! He just… didn't look so… human…

"Oh fuck," the terrified werewolf whispered to himself, trembling as he slowly rose to his feet. This wasn't supposed to happen! He was supposed to marry Bella and live happily ever after and the leeches would never bother them again! What would the _pack_ think? They'd definitely see him as a traitor! He'd become a fucking _leech-lover_!

Jacob let out a howl of frustration, hands tangling themselves in his long dark hair. His face contorted with anguish. His emotions were a mess, bouncing and swinging every which way. It made the werewolf feel even sicker than his new discovery made him feel.

He wasn't the only one who was disgusted. Edward Cullen, who with his uncanny mind-reading ability, was unfortunately privy to all of Jacob's thoughts, which were all _very_ loud, thus difficult to ignore. The mere idea of the mutt being his soul mate made the nausea return with more oomph than before. Although he didn't know all the details about imprinting, Edward understood the basics. He also understood that it was forever, set in stone. There was nothing he—or Jacob—could do about it. However, this wasn't going to deter Edward in his plan to marry Isabella. He would marry her and they would live happily ever after. Ironic how both he and Jacob had both been planning on a happily ever after with Isabella Swan. It was only natural that Fate had a different plan for the two of them.

"Fuck you, Edward Cullen," Jacob growled, "Fuck you, you pompous asshole." He sniffled and wiped his eyes, feeling even more pitiful than before. His life was ruined. He'd never be happy. There'd be unbearable emptiness if Edward wasn't there and being around the leech was unbearable in itself! Jacob was sure he'd be abandoned by his friends and family in La Push if they knew how he'd betrayed them. Then there was the matter of his sexuality. The werewolf was sure that he was straight! After all, he found Bella extremely attractive! He wanted nothing more than to marry her and have many children! But he'd imprinted on a _boy_. This made the boy feel even more like a freak than he already did. A female vampire would've been bad, but a male one? Now that was just awful!

Edward wanted to yell at the other boy to shut up. All that hysterical mental babble was giving him a migraine. They were obviously never going to be a couple, so why did this even matter? That's what he wanted to know, but he didn't dare ask. He didn't need the werewolf knowing that Edward was in on his little secret. So he kept quiet and still.

"This is such bullshit," the werewolf mumbled after collecting himself, wiping his eyes one last time. It was obvious that he'd been crying, but he was intent on pretending that he hadn't. He stood up and looked down at Edward. "I guess I better get you back to your family. I can't let you sleep on our side of the border." He then lifted the vampire up, cradling him in his arms as if he were more precious and breakable than even the most fragile china.

The funny thing was Edward really did fall asleep in the werewolf's arms, finally finding comfort at last in the most unexpected place.

--

The tree's bark splintered as Jacob's fist connected with it. He couldn't believe it! He'd imprinted on _Edward Cullen_ and not only that, he'd brought the leech back to his _house_. He'd ventured into enemy territory voluntarily! And once there he'd even been _reluctant_ to return Edward to his family. He shuddered as that odd look the pixie-like one—was her name Alice?—had given him resurfaced in the forefront of his mind. It was almost like she saw right through him and his act!

Letting out a frustrated howl, Jacob dropped to his knees, pounding his bloody fists into the dirt. The shallow scrapes the bark had left behind had long since healed; his werewolf genes had made sure of that, so there was no real threat of infection. At least, for now. After about five minutes, Billy Black's son finally fell silent, breathing hard.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered to himself, wiping the blood off on his dirty jeans before letting his fingers run through his knotted, black mane. Closing his eyes, Jacob pondered his situation. What now? That was the biggest question weighing on his brain. He couldn't accept this… mistake. He'd run away, far away, but what about Bella? He couldn't just leave her behind. Those damn parasites were going to turn her into one of them! There was no way that Jacob would allow that. Staying would be difficult, but Bella was worth it. Definitely worth it.

Letting out a sigh of relief that he'd finally figured a part of his plan out, Jacob straightened himself back up, shoved his hands in his pockets, and began the long walk home. He could've phased and been home in a matter of minutes, but the moment he did so the entire pack would know what had happened. He'd have to be extra careful from now on, but at the same time he needed to confide in someone. A problem shared was a problem halved, right? Plus this was just eating away at him; he needed someone to talk to.

Sam was the first name that came to mind. After all, he was the leader of the pack, a great friend, trustworthy—at least in Jacob's opinion—and if anyone knew the solution to this issue then it would be him. Deciding that Sam was the right choice, Jacob changed his course, making his way to the Uley household instead of his own.

It took about half an hour of plodding through the insanely green forest before Jacob arrived at Sam's front door. Chewing on his lower lip nervously, the young werewolf grasped the knocker with a trembling hand and announced his presence with three quick raps. The door opened immediately. Thankfully it was Sam and not his fiancée, Emily. That girl was sharp and would definitely notice Jacob's anxiety. One person knowing his dirty little secret felt like one person too many. And two? Jacob wasn't going to let that happen.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, brow creasing as his face took on a concerned expression. The elder male had known Jacob for long enough to tell when something was not quite right. Though it wasn't particularly hard in this case as Jacob was extremely fidgety, acting almost as if staying still would send some sort of plague his way.

"No, I'm not," Jacob murmured, "Can we talk? Is Emily there?"

"No, Emily's out doing some shopping. She wants to cook something from this new cookbook she just got, so she needed to get some stuff." Then realizing that he'd gone off on a bit of a tangent, Sam immediately went back to the issue at hand. "Yeah, of course we can talk. Come on in. Do you want something to drink?"

"Something soothing," Jacob said as he stepped inside, "I'm pretty sure my nerves are shot." He then made his way into the kitchen, sitting down on one of the cushioned chairs before starting to twiddle his thumbs.

"That bad?" Sam intoned, shutting the door with a soft click and following the other werewolf. "Is tea okay?"

"Yeah," Jacob replied, his voice slightly shaky.

Filling the kettle with water and setting it on the stove, Sam waited for it to boil. He then began to rummage around in the cabinets, searching for that pack of English tea Emily had gotten as a gift for her last birthday. Tea was pretty soothing right? He hoped so. Jacob really looked like he could use a strong dose of bear tranquilizer. Sam found the box, which had up till now remained unopened, nestled between the flour and sugar. Popping it open, he pulled out a single tea bag right as the kettle began to whistle.

"You look pale," Sam remarked as he sat down next to Jacob, setting the hot tea on the table in front of the boy. The cup was snatched up immediately, its contents downed in a matter of seconds.

"I imprinted," Jacob whispered as he set his cup down. Sam's face lit up with excitement.

"Really? Who's the lucky girl?" he asked. In his opinion it was about time that Jacob found his soul mate and stopped panting after Bella. He really had nothing against her—just her usual company—but he knew that she and Jacob just weren't right for each other. The chemistry just wasn't quite there for them to be anything more than friends.

Swallowing, Jacob replied, "Boy, Sam. Lucky boy." His mouth had gone dry, palms sweaty with nervousness, eyes fixed on the empty cup. He didn't want to see Sam's expression of revulsion.

"Oh," the elder of the two murmured, rather taken aback. He'd heard of imprinting on the same sex, but those instances were supposedly few and far between. Scratching the back of his neck—something he did when situations became awkward—Sam asked, "So… er… who is he?"

Jacob glanced up, eyes wide with worry. "Promise you won't tell anyone else, or… hate me for it?"

"Jacob, imprinting isn't something you can control. I couldn't hate you for something like that." He placed a reassuring hand on Jacob's shoulder, relieved to see the other relax somewhat beneath his touch. "And I promise to keep it a secret until you're ready to let the others know."

Taking a deep breath, Jacob uttered what was now his biggest secret. "Edward Cullen."

Sam's eyes bulged. "C-Cullen?!" he stammered. "You imprinted on Edward _Cullen_?! Please tell me I heard you wrong." Jacob's heartbroken expression was enough of an answer. Remembering his promise, Sam sucked in a deep breath. "Okay. We'll get through this Jacob. Everything'll work out. I know it will." He then pulled the boy, who was almost like a brother to him, into a warm, tight hug. "Even if you imprinted on all the Cullens, hell, even if you said you were pregnant with Edward Cullen's kid, you'd still be my friend. You're like a little brother to me, Jake."

Surprised that this had gone so smoothly, Jacob sat there in dumb shock, letting himself be hugged. It took a few moments for his brain to process what had happened, but once it did Jacob was hugging Sam as tightly as he could.

"I'm so glad I have a friend like you, Sam," he said, finally completely at ease. Telling Sam really had provided a great deal of relief. As he pulled away, Jacob added, "But… I'm not gay, Sam. How could I have imprinted on Cullen of all people? I mean, I'm supposed to hate him! It's gross needing him like this…"

"Yeah…" Sam murmured, nodding solemnly in agreement. The mere thought of needing a vampire in that way made his skin crawl and caused him to pity Jacob even more. If anything, this was a real nightmare.

"I don't love him," Jacob grumbled, "I hate him. In fact, I wouldn't care if he fell into the pit of an active volcano this instant." This was a lie. Jacob's heart gave a painful tug as he said this. In fact, the idea of Edward actually dying nearly set off the waterworks. Blinking back the tears rapidly, Jacob let out a loud sigh. "This is so fucked up, Sam."

"Yeah…" Sam said again before slipping out of the hug. He cocked his head to the side upon seeing Jacob wipe his eyes.

"There was something in my eye," Jacob muttered lamely. He'd never been much of a liar, but Sam decided not to comment on it.

Instead he asked, "Are you going to tell Billy?"

"Of course not!" the young werewolf exclaimed, eyes wide with what could almost be seen as terror. "He'll _flip_!"

"He's your dad, Jacob. I'm sure he'll understand. I mean, you're his son. He's supposed to love you unconditionally. Plus it's not your fault Fate has a twisted sense of humor."

"Yeah but…"

"You can't hide it from him forever. He has as much of a right to know as me. The rest of the pack can wait, but I think you should tell your dad about this sometime in the near future."

"I guess so…"

"No. You know so."

Jacob sighed again, returning his gaze to the cup. "What about Bella?" he asked, his voice soft.

"You'll cross that bridge when you come to it. It's up to you whether you want to tell her or not," Sam replied. He really had no idea how Isabella would take this kind of news. According to Jacob she was incapable of functioning properly as a normal human being without Edward. Sam personally thought it was slightly pathetic, but he knew that the same thing would happen to him if Emily left him. She was his everything and he'd do anything for her.

"I don't want Bella to hate me…"

"If she hates you because of this then she never was your friend, Jacob."

"That makes me feel even worse, Sam…"

"Sorry," Sam said, smiling sheepishly. Jacob couldn't help but smile too when he saw Sam's. It was an effect Sam had on people. If he smiled you just had to smile along with him even if you were depressed as could be.

"Actually, I take that back. I feel a lot better now. Thanks, Sam."

"No problem, Jake."

"So, can I… ignore this?" Jacob asked, smile gone.

"Ignore imprinting? You can try, but… you probably won't succeed. Cullen will draw you in eventually whether you like it or not. All you can do is prepare for that day," Sam replied, no longer smiling either. "I'm not sure how long you'll be able to keep it a secret from him. Those mind-reading abilities of his are a real pain in the ass when it comes to keeping secrets."

"I think that sister of his, the one with the dark hair, already knows… That look she gave me when I brought Edward—" Jacob cut himself off. He'd just called the leech by his first name! This was not acceptable. "The leech," he corrected, "back to his house. I found him passed out in the woods."

"Passed out? Can they pass out?"

"Apparently so, though that sister looked pretty worried when she saw him like that. It could've just been the fact that I was there. I'm not really sure, but… I think she knows…"

"Well, let's just hope she won't go broadcast it every which way."

"Yeah…" Jacob murmured. The anxiety building within him was making him feel nauseous. The last thing he needed was for Edward to know. "I need to go. Billy's probably wondering why I'm not home yet. It's gotten pretty late in the afternoon. I told him I'd be back by four and it's nearly five. See ya, Sam."

"Take care of yourself, Jacob," Sam said as he got up and walked the boy to the door.

"I will," Jacob replied before starting the walk home, thinking up a suitable excuse for Billy as he went while pondering the issue his imprinting some more.

--

Like Jacob, Alice Cullen was debating the imprinting problem. When she saw the vision of Jacob falling in love with her brother Alice had passed it off as ridiculous and impossible. She had been sure that Edward and Jacob hated each other right down to the bone, but now she wasn't, not after what she'd seen. The way Jacob had been cradling Edward wasn't the way one enemy would hold another. He'd even seemed reluctant to let go of Edward! Alice sighed. This was not good. Not good at all. As if they didn't have enough problems already with Edward in the hospital again.

"Is he going to be okay, Alice?" Bella asked. She was nearly as pale as the Cullens and had dark circles of worry under her eyes. The poor girl hadn't been sleeping well and it was very apparent.

"He'll be fine," Alice replied in a soothing voice as she pulled the girl into a gentle hug, hoping that it would be enough to comfort her even a little bit. What she wouldn't give for Jasper to be here, but he never felt well in hospitals. The flurry of emotions made him keep his distance. He'd stuck around for a little bit, but had politely excused himself when it became too much for him. Alice knew it would be too much to ask to have him return.

"I hope so…" Bella murmured. She shifted around in his uncomfortable plastic chair. Like the rest of the Cullens she was trapped in the waiting room that evening. Carlisle was the only other absent one, but that was only because he was performing some tests on Edward, alarmed by how fast the sickness had progressed.

"Everything'll turn out okay, Bella," Alice said as she pulled away. "Edward's stubborn. He's not going to go down so easily. You and I both know that."

"Yeah… But what if he doesn't make it?"

"Don't say things like that."

Bella chewed on his lower lip. "He asked me to marry him, Alice…"

Alice's eyes widened and she immediately became excited. The pixie-like girl was nearly bouncing right out of her seat. "What? When? Did you say yes? Can I plan it, pretty please?"

Resisting the urge to chew on her nails, Bella reluctantly told Alice the truth. "I told him I needed to think about it… My mom married young and… I didn't want to end up like her… but… I love Edward and I really do want to marry him. I want to be with him forever. I want to tell him, Alice."

"You will, Bella. He'll wake up soon, good as new. Promise," Alice said with a serene smile. She was shocked with how easily she could lie to Bella in order to make the girl feel better. "Hey. I'll even do the whole pinky promise thing with you." She held out her pinky finger.

A small smile graced Bella's lips as she curled her own pinky around Alice. "Okay. Pinky promise." She then began to laugh. "I feel like I'm in grade school again thanks to you!"

Grinning, Alice replied, "Well there's nothing wrong with that is there?"

Bella smiled and shook her head. "No. There isn't."

"Bella, I'm curious. What was your childhood like?" Alice asked, hoping that this subject would be enough to distract Bella from Edward. Luckily, it worked. Bella immediately began to talk animatedly about her early years, eyes bright and cheeks flushed.

While the two girls conversed Carlisle was hard at work. The strain he couldn't identify earlier had latched onto the influenza, bringing about a potentially fatal mutation. The doctor had spent hours throwing every single treatment modern medicine had to offer at this new virus, but each one ultimately failed. With each passing minute the situation became bleaker and more hopeless than before, but Carlisle refused to give up. Edward's very existence was at stake here. Carlisle wasn't going to let something that precious slip through his fingers.

The doctor worked through the night, continuing his tests after sending Bella off to bed and the rest of his family home. He'd promised to call the second Edward's conditioned changed whether it be for the better or the worse. Although he took no breaks he made little progress. All he'd discovered was a way to halt—or at least slow down considerably—the virus' progress. However, it would incapacitate Edward at the same time.

Carlisle let out a sigh and massaged his temples. Things were not going well. Edward's condition was rapidly deteriorating. He only gave the boy a few more days at most with the way the virus was spreading. Edward was quickly dying and he didn't know anything he could do to completely cure him. All he could do was buy more time. He needed to discuss this with his family, Bella included.

He called home only to discover that Bella was there with his family. The poor girl had only slept for an hour or so before being roused by a particularly bad nightmare she refused to talk about. It didn't take long for the Cullens to assemble in the hospital's waiting room. In fact, Carlisle was sure they'd driven faster than usual. However, that point didn't really matter at the moment. Once everyone was seated and listening, Carlisle began his explanation.

"The virus inside Edward has mutated and is progressing rapidly. All the treatments up till now have failed." Carlisle felt his chest tighten when he saw Bella's expression. It was one of absolute devastation, as if she had been just told that the world was going to end. He forced himself to continue. "However, there is a way to stop the virus' progression, but it will involve putting Edward in a coma-like state. It's not a cure, but it should buy us enough time to come up with one."

"How long will that take?" Bella asked, her voice shaky, eyes brimming with tears.

"I don't know," the doctor replied, his expression grave.

"Okay…" The girl then turned her gaze to the ground, hair falling into her face to hide her tears. Alice immediately wrapped her arms around her.

"He'll find a cure, Bella. I know he will," Alice murmured, gently stroking Bella's hair. The sobbing girl merely hiccupped in reply.

The rest of the Cullens appeared shocked. They'd never even imagined that something like this could happen to one of them. They were supposed to be indestructible! Carlisle had saved Edward from disease by turning him into a vampire! So why was Edward dying from one now? Emmett didn't understand it at all. He couldn't accept this.

"It can't be true. You've got to be lying!" he snapped, anger rising within him as he stood up.

"I wish I was, Emmett," Carlisle replied.

"B-But he's Edward! He can't die!" Emmett stammered. He was so confused. What was he supposed to feel right now? His brain couldn't decide between anger, sadness, helplessness, and a multitude of other emotions. Head spinning, he sat back down, wondering if this was what Jasper felt. "He can't die…" he mumbled as Rosalie took his hand in hers. "He's my brother… He can't die…"

"Is Edward conscious?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, but only barely." Carlisle then turned his head to look at Bella. "Would you like to go see him, Bella?" he asked, voice soft and gentle. He received and hiccup and a nod in response. "Let's go then before he falls asleep."

Bella felt as if she were in a daze as she was escorted through the maze-like halls of the hospital. Had Alice not been there the girl would've collapsed in a sobbing heap on the linoleum before even making it halfway to Edward's room. Almost a week had passed since Edward had proposed to her in the meadow, five days since he disappeared, twelve hours since he returned home. She couldn't believe how fast time was flitting away.

Then she was standing at Edward's bedside, Alice no longer at her side. She and the rest of the Cullens stood outside, giving Bella a few moments of privacy with Edward. It was then that Bella noticed that she was wearing some sort of gown and a surgeon's mask over her nose and mouth, gloves on her hands.

_Just in case he's contagious_, Bella thought before turning her attention back to the ailing boy. He was paler than she'd ever seen him, body covered in various tubes. Smiling sadly, she brushed his dulled locks out of his face and slid her other hand into his.

"Edward, I don't know if you can hear me," she murmured as she gingerly stroked the top of his head, "but know that I want to marry you when you wake up. I was just afraid of becoming like my mom. I love you more than you could ever know and I want to be with you forever." She then kissed his forehead. "Please get better for me. Stay strong." As she started to move away, Bella felt Edward's hand squeeze hers. It was faint, barely noticeable. At first Bella thought that she'd imagined it, but something told her that Edward really had heard her. She whispered one last 'I love you' before leaving the room.

Time seemed to speed up again, just like it had on her way to Edward's hospital room. Bella felt detached, almost as if she were floating up in space, watching herself from above, as she watched the rest of the Cullens file in and out of the room one by one. She was barely aware of herself as she plodded through the maze of sterile, while halls, following Emmett this time. It vaguely occurred to her that they were in a new wing and Edward was with them still in his hospital bed. She watched in silence as Carlisle and some other nurses hooked Edward up to many more machines, putting more tubes into him. They then injected some sort of drug into Edward.

Suddenly the hospital melted away and she was standing in the middle of her bedroom. It was late. Everything was dark. Feeling the lack of sleep finally catch up with her, Bella stumbled over to her bed and got under her comforters. It wasn't long before she drifted off into a peaceful slumber, comforted by dreams of Edward.

--

**AN:** Okay. You got me. I totally love Sam and Emily as a couple. I think they're just adorable together. Anyways, this was a long chapter. You all better be happy. Review please?


	10. Escape

**AN:** It's sad that summer break will be over soon. I like sleeping in. Anyways, thank you to everyone who reviewed. Also, that new Reader's Traffic thing is pretty cool. I like seeing from where all my readers come from.

As for Breaking Dawn… I hated it. It was absolute trash. After only one hundred pages I was tempted to toss this book into the garbage and never look upon it again, but no, I kept going until the very end and I'm sorry that I did. All the rules based around the vampires went down the tubes. Twilight was cute. New Moon was irritating. Eclipse made me GLAD that Breaking Dawn was going to be the last. Breaking Dawn made me so angry I couldn't sleep after reading it. Yes, it made me that angry. I wish I'd bought Snakehead by Anthony Horowitz instead of twenty-two dollar bad fanfiction.

**Warning: Spoilers Ahead!**

Don't tell me to read it again. No matter how many times you read a horrible book it will remain just that: a horrible book. Meyer's purple prose was as bad as ever. Damn. She should've just stuck with Twilight and never written anything else ever again. Breaking Dawn was a _monstrosity_. It was sick and wrong on so many levels, obviously unedited, out of character, which is something that is beyond sad considering it was Stephenie Meyer herself who wrote this shit. I urge anyone who hasn't read this poor excuse for a novel to run away from it as far as they can. The themes Meyer presents are downright degrading. She glorifies teenage pregnancy and _proves_ how immature Bella really is. Real babies are a lot of work! Real babies demand responsibility and maturity! Bella is not responsible and definitely not mature. She is not ready to have a child. Most eighteen year olds aren't, but Meyer has to shove her Mormon beliefs down our throats. Guess what girls! You don't need an education or a job! All you need is a man to protect you and 'love' you and get you pregnant! After all, babies are the one thing _all _women need! I admit that I do want children—five or six in fact—but I don't plan on doing it when I'm fresh out of high school. The fact that Meyer makes _every_ woman weak and in need of a child and a man makes me sad. It's called feminism, Mrs. Meyer, and you're doing it wrong.

How this crap got past the editors escapes me. It's poorly written, lacks plot, romanticizes things that shouldn't be (pedophilia anyone?), and contains some of the worst characters I have _ever_ encountered. I hate to say this people, but Edward is an abusive asshole. Everything about Edward and Bella's relationship screams abuse in this last installment. He was already possessive and controlling from the start, but really Edward, pimping out your _wife_? How low can one man go? Whatever. Enjoy banging your hormonal wife, Edward. After all, sex is the only thing she wants from you now and of course she gets everything she wants. WHERE'S THE FUCKING SACRIFICE?!

Sorry. I really needed to vent there. Everything about Breaking Dawn was wrong. Stephenie Meyer, get the fuck down off your high horse. You are _not _the next J.K. Rowling. Twilight is _not_ the next Harry Potter. If it _was_ the next Harry Potter then it wouldn't even be _called _that. Even Robert Pattinson, the actor who'll be playing Edward in the upcoming movie, thinks the series makes little sense (I watched an interview with him that proves this). After reading Breaking Dawn I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't. I really want to know what the hell Stephenie was smoking when she wrote this stuff. Seriously. Go take some writing classes, Stephenie. You need them.

I'll stop there. I could go on for pages really. This book is that awful. Of course you all are probably wondering why the hell I'm still writing fanfiction. Well, Twilight—the first book—has always been my guilty pleasure. It still has a special place in my heart even though I think the author's a pompous moron and the rest of the series kind of sucks. Plus I'm too much of a die-hard Jacob/Edward fan to let this fandom be taken over by rabid canon shippers. I need to stay here and protect my cause. I have a mission!

As for my copy of Breaking Dawn, I immediately returned it to the store and got a full refund :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. Thank God.

--

**.relapse.**

escape

--

_It's been seventy-two-thousand-three-hundred-forty-eight hours since I imprinted on Edward,_ Jacob thought as he stared up at his bedroom's off-white ceiling, _That's eight years, three months, three days, and twelve hours_. Chewing on his lip, Jacob couldn't help but think that eight years, three months, three days, and twelve hours was an incredibly long time.

The digital clock on his bedside table beeped once, the red numbers glowing faintly in the dim bedroom. It was noon, but not a single ray of sunlight shone into the room's dark depths. The faded curtains were tightly drawn, plunging the space into a depressing gloom. Faint glitters of rare sunlight danced behind the curtains, continuously denied access. Should a stranger have gazed upon this melancholy scene, they would have never thought that Jacob Black had once loved the sunlight, basked in its warmth and marveled at how the warm light swept fluidly over his dark skin, sending powerful surges of happiness coursing through him.

But those eight years had changed him. He had become one of the wealthiest men in the country before his twenty-fourth birthday. To the outside world Jacob Black had everything: a diploma from MIT, a luxurious penthouse apartment in Manhattan, a vast estate near Seattle, multiple vacation homes, a closet filled with designer clothes, a garage filled to the brim with sleek sports cars— most of them his own creations—and hundreds of eligible bachelorettes who would _kill_ for the chance to date _the_ Jacob Black. Most people would have been ecstatic with such a glamorous lifestyle and most assumed that Jacob was indeed happy. However, it was far from the truth. Jacob Black was miserable.

He spent his days hidden away from the world, safe in his secure and impenetrable residences that were more like prisons. Jacob had become a recluse, shying away from society as if he were too ashamed to let anyone else look upon him—the pack in particular. They'd accepted him more out of pity than tolerance and even now Jacob couldn't look most of them in the eye. Seth was the only exception.

A sad smile graced the man's lips as he thought about Seth, who even now, was still just a kid in his mind. He found it hard to believe that someone as pure and innocent as Seth could still exist in this bleak, cruel world they all lived in, but he was grateful for it. Had Seth not helped him through those hard years of adolescence Jacob didn't know what he'd have done. In fact, Seth had saved him in a way with his company. He really owed the kid a lot.

Chuckling softly, Jacob let his hands come to rest on his stomach. Now that he was back in La Push he probably should drop by and visit the werewolf. Then he thought about Leah, Seth's older sister, and grimaced. Before the news of his imprinting had gotten out, Jacob and Leah had been barely civil towards one another, but now just putting the two of them in the same area was asking for a fight. Jacob finally decided that it would be for the best if he didn't have any run ins with her. He'd visit later in the week—towards the end of his short vacation—when Leah was sure to be away visiting a friend in Seattle.

"Jacob?" Billy Black called hoarsely from downstairs before lapsing into a particularly violent coughing fit. Okay, this wasn't exactly a vacation. Billy had managed to catch a particularly nasty case of bronchitis after forgetting to close the windows before he went to sleep one night. The chill had gotten the best of the elderly man, but the doctors had assured Jacob that with a little bit of love and care his father would fit as a fiddle in no time at all.

"You need something, Dad?" Jacob asked as he walked into the living room. Billy was sitting in his favorite armchair, shivering beneath the thick cocoon of blankets his son had created for him.

"Could you turn the thermostat up? It's cold in here."

"Sure, Dad. Anything else?"

"Could you get me a glass of water too?"

"Of course. Is that it?"

Billy's face crinkled as his mouth curled up into a gentle smile. "Would you mind keeping your old man company for a little bit? I've missed you."

Jacob forced a small smile. "Yeah, sure," he murmured before slipping into the kitchen. He grabbed a glass out of the wooden cabinet and filled it with water from the tap. The last time Billy had made him sit down for a little chat it had ended with Jacob screaming at his father to shut up before storming out of the house. That was the day Jacob had told his father about Edward.

"Thank you," Billy whispered hoarsely as he took the glass from Jacob's hand. He took a large gulp, sighing as the cool liquid soothed his dry, itchy throat. "Sit."

The younger of the two hesitantly took a seat on the old couch after turning the thermostat up, ignoring the little bit of stuffing that came out of the cushion. This particular couch had been well loved and Billy continuously refused to part with it no matter how many times Jacob tried to convince him to do so. Although the cushions were soft and gave way to the man's weight easily, Jacob sat rigid as a board, muscles tense, jaw tight.

Noticing his son's clear unease, Billy urged him to relax. "Jacob, relax. Spending some time with your father isn't going to kill you." The elder Black let out a soft chuckle, which turned into yet another coughing fit.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, voice laced with concern as he watched his father take yet another large gulp of water. Sometimes he wondered if the doctor's were right. That cough sounded horrible and his father's appearance was nearly just as bad. Of course, Jacob really wasn't one to talk. He didn't look all that great himself either. Ever since he'd arrived in La Push he hadn't been able to sleep a wink. Sleeping poorly wasn't all that unusual for him, but normally he got at least a few hours. Here he got none.

"I'm fine," Billy rasped as he set the half empty glass on the end table beside him. "It's a little dark in here isn't it?"

"I guess," Jacob said with a shrug. It wasn't as dark as his room, but still considerably dim. "Do you want me to turn on the light or open the curtains?"

"Just turn on the light, please. It's way too bright outside. You don't mind do you?"

"It's no big deal, Dad. The light switch is just over there."

"But you just sat down."

"Getting up and walking three paces isn't going to kill me." The werewolf then stood up and walked over to the switch, which he flicked up. The lights sprang to life, illuminating the room with a soothing ochre glow. _Like the color of his eyes_, Jacob noted silently as he sat back down.

"You've grown up," Billy remarked ruefully. It was as if he had finally noticed that his bouncing baby boy had grown up into a successful young man.

"I'll be twenty-five in the spring, Dad."

Billy let out a sigh. "Time goes by too fast. It seems like just yesterday I was changing your diapers and waiting for you to say your first word."

"What was my first word?"

"Dah-dah or something like that."

"No, Dad. My first _real _word. You know, besides mah-mah and dah-dah?"

Billy lapsed into a thoughtful silence, sifting through old, happy memories. "Oh!" he exclaimed, eyes lighting up as he finally remembered. "Chocolate, though you couldn't make the 'ch' sound so you said 'kokolate' instead."

"Kokolate?" Jacob repeated, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. Whenever we went out for ice cream you'd scream it as loud as you could," Billy said with a grin. "It really doesn't feel like more than twenty years have passed since then."

"Sometimes I can hardly believe I'm in my twenties either, Dad," Jacob replied, smiling. His father let out a raspy laugh.

"Do you know how weird it is to be the father of one of the richest men in the country, Jake? It's _surreal_." Billy then downed the rest of his water. "And now that we're on the subject… How about sending me off on a nice vacation to the Caribbean?"

Jacob laughed as his father waggled his eyebrows at him. "Sure, Dad. I'll get on that once you're healthy again." Smiling, Jacob relaxed, leaning back into the sofa's soft pillows. Talking with his dad like this was soothing. For once he didn't feel the pressure of work and the fact that he'd imprinted on a vampire didn't seem to matter for the time being. Actually, the werewolf had almost even forgotten about Edward. This was the closest he'd gotten to forgetting the dying boy so far.

"So, Jacob," Billy began after a moment of silence. "How are you holding up?"

Jacob's brow furrowed with confusion. "I'm fine. Why?" he replied, tensing up once more. He didn't like where this conversation was headed.

"I imagined life would be tough for you considering…"

"I won't let myself be governed by that damn leech!" Jacob snapped, springing up off the couch; his lips curled back into a feral snarl. His muscles contracted involuntarily as he tried to fight back the change that so desperately wanted to claim him. Primal instinct goaded him on, sending surges of adrenaline through his system, willing him to give into the beast howling within his chest. He could feel the wolf beating its paws against his rib cage, trying to bend him to its will, but Jacob was stronger than that. No longer would he let himself be governed by his rage and pain. Jacob Black was their master now.

Billy was unperturbed by his son's violent reaction. He had expected it. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone in your position would feel the same heartache that you feel. An imprint isn't something that can be ignored, Jacob. We've been over this before."

"I'm not gay!" Jacob snarled, temper rising. "I feel _nothing_ for that god damn bloodsucker! I wouldn't even bat an _eyelash_ if he died this very instant! It's about time that he did anyways!" The words kept pouring out of his mouth. The hateful insults, the angry shouts spilled out in gushing torrents. Jacob couldn't make himself _stop_. His verbal rampage went on and on, each word leaving another crack in the mangled, discombobulated heap of emotion he'd stitched back together with lies he'd forced himself to believe over the years that was his heart. His soul screamed at him to stop as it twisted and burned within him, but Jacob did not stop. He kept going and going and going until he found himself panting and gasping for air, lungs shriveled up and dry from the deluge.

Billy's face held no trace of emotion as he stared blankly at his trembling son. He watched the hot, salty tears roll down Jacob's cheeks in silence. The man did not make any movement as the angry and confused boy that stood before him reached up and touched his wet face, which had relaxed in shock. Only when the man that had suddenly become a boy again finally gave into all that hurt he'd kept bottled up for so long did Billy open his arms.

"Come here, Son," he murmured softly.

Not bothering to stifle his loud sobs, Jacob stumbled over to his father and let himself fall into that man's open arms. For the first time in many years, he buried his face into the elderly man's chest and let himself cry, feeling more free than he ever had. He cried until he no longer had tears to shed, comforted by Billy's soothing murmurs and warm arms.

Jacob hiccupped and pulled away to wipe his eyes, which had become red and puffy. Sniffling, he whispered, "I love him, Dad." There was only one thing on the werewolf's face as he admitted the one thing he'd promised to never believe: defeat.

"It's okay, Son," Billy murmured as he stroked the top of Jacob's head, smoothing out the short, tangled strands. "There's nothing to be ashamed of." He pressed a gentle, loving kiss to the young man's forehead. "I promised myself that I'd always love you and your sisters from the moment you all came into this world onwards no matter what. I'll always love you, Jacob. Please believe me now. I would never lie to you."

Sniffling, Jacob nodded. "I believe you."

Then there was quiet. No one spoke. Neither one needed to. Their silence brought across their feelings and thoughts just as effectively as their words could. Brown eyes stared into brown eyes and suddenly there was no more confusion.

"I've been so lonely," Jacob whispered. He swallowed the lump in his throat before adding, "Without him." Slipping down to the floor, he kneeled there, no longer able to meet his father's eyes. "Everywhere I go I see blank, colorless faces. I don't see _people_ anymore." His face screwed up in disgust. "I just see walking _corpses_. Mannequins…" He shuddered, his disgust shaking his frame. "And I feel so _empty_ all the time! I feel like I'm walking around without anything inside me! No heart! No lungs! Nothing!" Cradling his head in his trembling hands, Jacob felt his breath leaving him; the emptiness he'd ignored for so long was swallowing him whole. "_I _feel like a walking corpse! I've spent eight years trying to make myself feel alive without him, Dad! But I need him!" He let out a shuddering breath. "I need him… And I hate myself for it…"

Billy couldn't deny that he understood his son's self-loathing. After all, vampires were filthy, disgusting creatures. Anger flared up within the elderly man whenever he thought about them. How dare they ensnare his son like this, wrench him from the safety of the pack with vile temptation. He hated the way they had tantalized Jacob, tormented him until he was on the brink of insanity. They were cruel, devilish creatures, serpents in sheep's clothing. This was a loveless imprint. Billy knew that this would never end in a happily ever after. There would only be pain and suffering. Edward Cullen was a rose that had no petals, only thorns.

"You didn't choose this, Jacob. It's not your fault."

Jacob sighed. "Do you need anything else, Dad?" Billy understood that the subject was closed now.

"Would you mind refilling my glass for me?"

"Sure."

"Thank you," Billy murmured as the filled glass was handed back to him.

"You're welcome. Will you be alright on your own for a bit?" Jacob asked.

"I'm not completely incapable of taking care of myself just yet. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright. I'm going out for a bit then. I'll be back by dinner time."

"Going to see Bella?"

"Maybe," Jacob said with a shrug.

"It's not Tuesday."

"And? Just because I see Bella for coffee every Tuesday doesn't mean I'm not allowed to drop by on any other day of the week." Although Jacob felt like he had betrayed her by imprinting on Edward, he couldn't bear the thought of severing ties with the girl he still considered to be his best friend. This had led to the ritual of meeting with Bella every Tuesday—if work permitted it—and chatting over a nice hot cup of joe about things.

"Drive safely," Billy said with a smile, knowing full well that his son wouldn't respect any of the speed limits. He never did.

"I always do," Jacob replied with a grin as he slipped on his jacket. He paused momentarily in front of the mirror by the door to fix his hair, but nothing but copious amounts of hairspray and a heavy-duty brush would have a chance of taming the shaggy mop that was Jacob's hair. It only took a few seconds before Jacob realized how futile his attempts were. He called out one last good-bye before slipping outside, locking the door swiftly behind him.

The drive to Seattle went smoothly. There had been one close call with a police man, but Jacob had managed to narrowly avoid being ticketed for speeding. Of course, this didn't deter him in the least. If anything, he drove faster. It was his way of gloating.

As for Bella, she had been completely shocked to see Jacob at her door. He hadn't bothered to call ahead, which was something that was so very Jacob and something that Bella had grown accustomed to. Although she was a little miffed—she always was at first—that her best friend hadn't bothered to warn her of his arrival, she quickly ushered him inside. Most of her days were incredibly lonely nowadays. Sure Alice dropped by a lot—unlike Jacob she actually told Bella—and there were Jacob's frequent visits too, but nothing could fill the hole that Edward's absence had left. She missed having him by her side as she went to sleep. She missed his voice, his face, his smell, his eyes, the way he smiled. She missed being able to tell him everything and anything. Oh who was she kidding? She missed _everything_ about him! The past eight years had been the most difficult years of her life.

Although she was only twenty-seven years old, Bella felt incredibly old, ancient really. As much as she appreciated Alice's visits, seeing her—or any of the Cullens for that matter—made Bella want to cry. She was supposed to still be eighteen, frozen in an image of perfection, but she wasn't. Instead she was living the life Edward had wanted her to live in the first place: the human one. She hated it.

Bella longed for the taste of immortality. It taunted her, dangling above her head like the forbidden fruit, but she wouldn't give in just yet. She wouldn't throw away her only escape should Edward… Bella couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence. She'd tried her best to remain optimistic no matter how hopeless it seemed. One day she was going to wake up and find him sitting at her bedside, waiting for her just like before. Then he'd take her hand, kiss it, and tell her how much he loved her and how much he'd missed seeing her face. They'd get married. She'd become a vampire and they'd live happily ever after for eternity just like their storybook romance was supposed to end.

"Jacob! What did you do to your _hair_?!" Bella gasped as she stared at the monstrosity that sat atop Jacob's hair. It was so bad that it had pulled her out of her reverie.

"You like?" Jacob asked with a grin. "I think it makes me look pretty damn sexy. It's a I-just-battled-hoards-of-evil-monsters-and-survived look, right?"

"More like I-just-got-my-ass-whooped-by-a-family-of-rabid-squirrels," she replied, eying Jacob's scalp with obvious disapproval. She sighed and began to straighten it out with her fingers, standing up on her tiptoes to reach the top of Jacob's head. "You boys are all the same," she muttered, "Always too busy running around to stop and take care of yourselves."

Jacob pouted. "This is the thanks I get for driving all the way out here to see you?"

Bella ignored him. "Jesus, Jake! I'm going to have to get the heavy artillery out on this thing! Be right back." She disappeared into her bedroom, coming out moments later with her arms full of hair care supplies.

"Bella," Jacob whined.

"No whining. That thing on your head needs to be taken care of."

"Oh please. It's not _that _bad!"

"Jacob, it looks like something crawled onto your head and _died_ there. Maybe a porcupine. Now sit."

"Yes, Mom," Jacob grumbled as he took a seat in the cushioned wooden chair Bella had pulled out from under the kitchen table.

Isabella Swan lived in a modest three room apartment. There was her bedroom, a small bathroom that had barely enough room for the toilet, sink, and shower that had been crammed into it, and a living area that was also the kitchen. The floors in the apartment were, for the most part, hardwood. The bathroom and the kitchen were the only exceptions. The former had plain white tile that Bella made sure to keep spotless and the latter had the traditional black and white checkered linoleum. Although the apartment was small it was stylish. Bella may have persuaded Esme to let her pay her own rent, but the woman would not be deterred from her mission to transform this place into a home. As much as she hated being doted on like that, Bella was glad that Esme had decorated the apartment. Thanks to her it really did feel like home.

The kitchen was simple. The beige counters were set up in an L-shape, fitting right up along the contours of the walls, which had been painted a soothing pale yellow. Their tops were made of granite and reminded Bella of Edward whenever she touched their cool surfaces. Windowed beige cabinets lined one wall, each one filled with an assortment of plates, bowls, glasses, and food. In the mornings the sunlight—if there was any—would hit the glasses just right, making them sparkle like diamonds, like Edward's skin. There was a simple wooden square table underneath the window that was on the farthest wall. Three chairs like the one Jacob was sitting on were pushed in under it. A shelf had been mounted on the wall to the table's right and it was filled to the brim with a multitude of cookbooks. Bella often promised herself that she'd cook something out of one someday, but she never really got around to doing it. Work often left her too tired to cook anything besides plain old spaghetti. There was of course an oven, a stove, and a microwave along with a dishwasher and a trashcan.

The living room was also simple. It wasn't separated from the kitchen. The only thing that set the two apart was the flooring. A pale green couch sat right in front of a television, which was currently playing a movie. Jacob had classified it as a chick-flick after a few minutes of watching the screen. There was also a glass coffee table and two armchairs that belonged to the same set as the couch. A soft white rug covered the floor in the small rectangle the sofa and the two armchairs had created. A few photos hung in dark brown frames on the wall. Most of these photos were of Edward and Bella. Bella couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness every time she looked at them. There were a few of Jacob of course, but most of them were of Edward.

"So what's that you're watching?" Jacob asked as Bella got to work on his hair.

"Oh. Twenty-Seven Dresses."

"I was right. It _is_ a chick-flick."

"And? It's an adorable movie. This is the second time I've seen it."

"I'm more into the movies with explosions and car chases."

"Like most men," Bella replied with a sigh. "Do you have any idea how lonely I feel whenever I have to watch a movie on my own?"

Jacob let out a groan. He couldn't believe Bella had finally guilt-tripped him enough for this. "Ugh. Fine. I'll let you drag me off to see one of your chick-flicks."

Bella gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Jacob. You're a real sweetie," she said with a smile. "I don't know what I do without you."

"Go see a movie alone?" Jacob offered with a wry smile. This got a laugh out of Bella.

"Yeah. You're right. Seriously though, you're an awesome best friend. I'm really glad you've been around to support me while Edward's been… you know…"

"Yeah…" Jacob felt his heart clench rather painfully as Bella mentioned him. He had no right to destroy her happiness once Edward got better. The werewolf also sincerely doubted that she would be okay with sharing the vampire. _Bella's too damn obsessed with him for that_, Jacob thought bitterly, anger flaring within him.

That was when Jacob froze. He couldn't believe himself! Thinking about his best friend like that over a _leech_! He shuddered with disgust. This imprinting thing ran too deep. He had to find a cure. There _had _to be one. There was no way he was going to spend his entire life panting after a blood-sucker, dreaming of him whenever he closed his eyes, and whimpering pitifully at night as he touched himself while imagining it was the parasite's hand loving him instead of his own shameful one. Jacob felt his cheeks grow warm as the memory flitted through his brain.

"Jake? You okay?" Bella asked, worried by her friend's sudden silence.

"Huh? Oh yeah. I'm fine," Jacob said lamely.

"Liar."

"It's nothing, Bella. Don't worry about it. I'm just worried about work. I mean, we launch the new model next week and I'm a little nervous about it."

"Nervous? Why? Your cars are a hit! I mean the mileage those things get? You've blown all those other companies out of the water, Jake!"

Jacob couldn't help but smile. "Oh really? Then why don't you have a car made by yours truly?" he asked with false innocence.

"You know I'm all about public transportation. My paycheck isn't big enough for one of your luxury cars. So unless I'm getting one on the house…?"

"Dream on!"

"But I'm your best friend!"

"I thought you hated expensive gifts?"

"Well, gifts in general, but that's not the point."

"Bella, if I knew you'd say yes I would've offered."

Bella grinned. "Sorry, Jake. I've already bonded with the bus. We've become real close over the past years."

"Right. Of course."

"But _Alice_ wouldn't mind getting one of those new Lupines. In fact, she's been drooling over those promotional photos you released earlier this month."

"Oh really now?"

"The only complaint she has is that they don't come in yellow."

"She's certainly welcome to place a custom order. I'll happily take care of that money burning in her pockets," Jacob said with a wolfish grin.

Bella laughed and punched him playfully in the arm. "Don't become a greedy old miser," she warned.

"I won't! I was just joking!" Jacob exclaimed, raising his hands in mock defense. "Don't hurt me, oh mighty Bella!"

Bella let out a grunt as she yanked the brush through a particularly large knot, Jacob yelping as she did so. "If I'm mighty then that hair of yours is all-powerful, Jake," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I give up!"

"Praise the Lord! Isabella Swan finally sees reason!"

"Whatever, wolf-boy. Want to finish this movie with me?"

"Hey! That's wolf-_man_ to you, Missy!"

Bella rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. Jacob pouted.

"I'm twenty-four! I demand some respect," he grumbled.

"Too bad. Now sit down on the couch with me. It's freezing in here," Bella said as she patted the adjacent cushion.

"Really? I didn't notice," Jacob replied, grinning once again. He sat down and put his arm around Bella, who ended up snuggling closer, attracted by the heat that radiated off Jacob's dark skin.

"I told them that something was wrong with that damn heater…"

"Want me to take a look at it?"

"Do you mind? I know you're on vacation and all right now, so it's probably a lot to ask."

"Vacation? Nah. I'm just looking after my dad. The old man forgot to close the windows before he went to sleep in a sudden fit of senility."

"Is he okay?" Bella asked. The last thing she needed was someone else landing in the hospital.

"Yeah. He's fine. It's just bronchitis. The doctor's say he'll be a-okay in no time."

"Isn't bronchitis extremely contagious?"

"Well, yeah, but you forget who you're dealing with here, Bella." Had Jacob's grin grown larger he'd have split his face in half. "I'm a werewolf remember?"

"That doesn't mean you're indestructible, Jake. No one is," she replied, frowning. Her gaze fell to her toes as sadness weighed down upon her shoulders. Edward's delicate condition really wasn't good for her health.

Jacob gave her a reassuring squeeze. "I can't get sick. I'm not really sure why. I think my body temperature just fucks with diseases or something." He shrugged. "But I'm not complaining. Being sick sucks."

"Yeah. It does."

The two friends then lapsed into silence, merely watching the movie play out on the screen, both trying to drift away from reality for an hour or two. The matter of the broken heater was completely forgotten.

Jacob left after the movie ended and Bella was sad to see him go. She really did enjoy his company, but Billy needed to be cared for. Plus it was already late. Jacob had promised he'd be home by dinnertime and the darkness was already creeping in. Bella knew she'd see him again on Tuesday, which was only a four days away. She always did. It was their little established ritual. Jacob wouldn't dare ditch it unless he had a good reason.

"You'll be there on Tuesday, right?" Bella asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just making sure."

"Bella, it'll take a lot to stop me from seeing my best friend for coffee, okay?" He kissed her cheek. "I love you, Bella. Don't ever doubt that for a second."

Bella couldn't help but smile back at him. Jacob really knew how to make her feel special and loved. Their love was a special kind. It was the love that grew between the best of friends. It had taken the two of them a while to figure out what they felt for one another, but it was clear that they were never meant to be romantically involved. That sort of love was something only she and Edward shared.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes. I do and I love you too, Jacob. Thank you for being here for me. You don't know how glad I was that I had so many friends to turn to." She then pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you so much."

"I only wanted to see you happy again."

"And I am happy because of you. See?"

"Ah! That's the smile I've been wanting to see."

Bella giggled, cheeks flushing pink. "You're embarrassing me," she murmured.

"Damn. My bad. I didn't mean to. How about I make it up to you and treat you to that white mocha you love so much. It's all you ever seem to want when we go to Starbucks."

"Because it's _amazing_."

"I'll buy you a big one then."

"Are you _trying _to get me fat, Jacob Black?" Bella asked with mock anger.

Grinning, the werewolf replied, "Of course not, Miss Swan. Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Hmm. I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that you're adamant about serving me an obscene amount of calories?"

"Calories?" Jacob asked, expression one of shock. "What is this nonsense? Heresy I say!"

The two of them looked at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing.

"Wow," Bella breathed once she regained control over herself. "Your expression was just priceless."

"I'm glad you found it hilarious. Now I really need to get going. Billy's probably getting hungry as we speak."

"Alright. I'll see you Tuesday then."

"Definitely. See ya, Bella."

"Bye, Jake."

Then just as he was about to turn around and walk out the door, Jacob stopped. His brow furrowed as he debated with himself. Should he tell her? He didn't know. He felt terrible keeping secrets from Bella, but at the same time he didn't want to lose her friendship. Was that selfish of him?

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"About Edward…"

"What about him?" Bella asked, eyeing Jacob warily. She didn't quite like the way Jacob was saying all this. It put her on edge.

"Never mind. It's not important. See you Tuesday!"

Jacob dashed out of the house before Bella could begin to question him further. He couldn't tell her now! She was already suffering enough as it was. There was no reason for him to add to her pain. Plus Edward would never even consider giving up Bella for him, so it was pointless to agonize over this issue. Jacob wasn't going to let himself be governed by 'fate'. Bella would remain in the dark forever. He'd make sure of it.

The drive back to La Push took a little longer than Jacob had anticipated due to a car crash that had wound up blocking up a big chunk of the highway. It also didn't help that everyone who drove by moved as slowly as possible in order to survey the scene. Jacob couldn't help but think that humans were far too curious for their own good. By the time he'd parked his car into the driveway it was nearly nine o'clock at night. So much for being home for dinner.

"Dad?" Jacob called out as he stepped into the sweltering house—someone must've kicked the thermostat up a few notches while he was out. He frowned when he saw that Billy was no longer in his armchair. Where could his dad have gone? It wasn't like he could get up and just walk away. "Dad?" he said again, louder this time.

"Shhh. He's sleeping."

Jacob whipped his head round at a breakneck speed, startled by the sudden voice behind him. However, he immediately relaxed when he saw who it was.

"Jesus Christ, Seth. You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack!" Jacob said.

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean to." Seth's huge grin made his apology seem a lot less sincere than it really was.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I just wasn't expecting you to be here." A pause. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Oh. My mom made Billy a get well cake… thing… I don't even know what it is since it kind of got… squished before I could peek under the aluminum foil."

"Squished by what?"

Seth's eyes darted anxiously from side to side. "Promise you won't tell him?"

"It can't be that bad…"

"… I sat on it."

"How the _fuck_ did you manage that, Seth?" Jacob asked in disbelief. How could Seth have not noticed the cake before sitting down?

"I put it down on my seat for a second while I went to lock the front door since I forgot to lock it on my way out," Seth began, cheeks flushed. "And I kind of forgot about it on my way back to my car."

"You forgot?"

"Um. Yeah. Pretty much. Can we please move onto something else now?"

"How's my dad doing?" Jacob asked, changing the topic much to Seth's relief.

"Oh. He's fine. I decided to hang around after dropping the cake off. Your dad just looked so lonely sitting there in his chair. Plus I'd feel insanely guilty if something happened to him if I left."

Jacob couldn't help but smile. Seth was still as kind as always. "You're a good guy, Seth. Thanks a lot. I owe you."

"So does this mean I get one of those awesome Lupine F5s?"

"How about a miniature model instead? They're supposed to appear in the next Hot Wheels playset."

"Damn it, Jacob! You just crushed my dreams! How am I going to impress the ladies with my minivan? It screams "Soccer Mom"! A man like me shouldn't be driving something like that!"

"Hey. Think of it this way, that car makes you look like a stable, responsible guy. Girls who want to settle down and get married look for a guy like that. You're the nest-provider or something."

"Where the heck did you hear that crap?"

"Radio. Some relationship guru was talking about what women look for in men."

"What else did he say?"

"Well, let me put it this way, Seth. You may be the nest-provider, but you sure won't be the sperm-provider."

"Wait. What?" Seth stared at Jacob as if the man had just turned purple and grown sparkly, pink fairy wings.

"According to this guy women go after the mysterious bad boys for their genes and they go after nice guys like you for your money."

"But I'm broke!" Seth exclaimed. "My paycheck's so small you need a microscope to see it!"

"Ooh. Too bad for you then. You'll never get laid." Upon seeing Seth's heartbroken expression, Jacob immediately felt guilty for saying that. It was hard to not feel guilty about something if Seth's feelings were involved. The poor boy was so sensitive. "I'm joking! You'll find someone eventually. You just need to be patient."

"Alright…"

"Seth?"

"What?"

"Can you promise me something?"

"Um. Sure, Jacob. What is it?"

"Promise me you'll make your own choices in life. Don't let yourself be governed by anything or anyone but yourself." Jacob was nearly pleading as he said this. Seth didn't deserve to end up like him, a slave to tradition. "Don't believe that you never have a choice. You always do." He felt his heart twist painfully as he said this. Why did he feel like such a liar? Maybe because he'd already fallen prey to imprinting. He'd let it consume him. Anger flared up within him. Why hadn't he fought back?

"Jake? Are you okay?" Seth asked, growing worried as Jacob's expression continued to darken.

"I'm just angry with myself," the man muttered. "Do you want to sit down?"

"Um. Sure. If that makes you more comfortable."

"Thanks."

Jacob settled down into his father's armchair while Seth hesitantly took a seat on the couch.

"Jake, you don't look so good…"

"I'm just tired. I don't get a lot of sleep."

"You're distressed…"

"I'm _tired_."

"Yeah, but…"

"I said I was _tired_," Jacob growled. He didn't like the way Seth was pushing this issue.

"S-sorry!" Seth squeaked, startled by the man's sudden aggression. Shrinking under the other's menacing glare, Seth offered a quick suggestion. "Maybe you'd like to, um, take a walk? The fresh air might, uh, make you perk up? I'll stay here and keep an eye on Billy for you."

"I think I'll do that. It's been a long time since I've stretched my legs. I think I miss it more than I let myself believe." Jacob grinned, foul mood suddenly gone. "You understand what I mean don't you, Seth?"

"Yeah! Of course! Just don't stay out too late. I need to get home at some point. I've got work in the morning, y'know."

"I would never abuse your kindness."

"I hope so…"

"I'll be back in thirty minutes. I promise."

"You owe me a large soda if you're out a second longer!"

Jacob laughed as he slipped outside, feeling the cold winter air wash over him. Although it was pitch black, he slipped around to the back of the house where he let his clothes slip off his body and onto the ground. They hadn't been expensive in the least, but it would be downright wasteful to provoke their swift destruction. Jacob then let the wolf that had been yowling inside him all day bubble to the surface. His skin rippled as he morphed from man to wolf, feeling the delicious surge of adrenaline that came with this amazing freedom race through his veins.

Tuning out the thoughts of the wolves that were patrolling the border, Jacob raced off blindly into the night. He needed to escape this madness.

--

**AN: **Wow. Okay. That was long. Maybe a little too long. I'm not sure. God I want a good editor to tell me about these things. I used to have my dad look over my stuff, but I hate having to wait till he gets home. Whatevs. Constructive criticism then, please? I really want to improve my writing skills since I've got a plot for a novel brewing in my head. It's sci-fi/fantasy. I'm still debating the romance bit. As it stands now I'm thinking that it'll be too much and out of place.

Also, here are some of the other stories I'm working on:

- A Mike/Edward story. It's currently titled 'Living the Dead Life', but that's subject to change. I've currently got four chapters of it written and I'm absolutely in love with it. I work on it when I'm not working on Relapse. I'll start posting it when I've got half of the chapters done. Mike's point of view is fucking amazing.

- A Jasper/Jacob story. I've only just got the outline done, but I like what I have so far. It's AU and called 'Lock and Key'. It's set in Albania and deals with the issue of 'blood feuds'. The Herald Tribune recently ran an excellent article about them. I actually cut the article out and saved it.

- Then there's this other story I've got that puts a big twist on the whole 'Bella gets pregnant' scenario. No, it's not Edward's. God no. No Mike/Jacob didn't rape her either. It doesn't contain any romance as it stands now. It's more of a coming of age story that also deals with the hardship and confusion that comes with becoming a parent. It also deals with the issue of father that raised you vs. biological father. Yes. It contains an OC, but I like to think that it's a well thought-out one. I'll let you guys be the judge. I've got a very rough outline for this.

Hey. Am I the only one who thinks that Seth and Edward would make an adorable couple? Just wondering.


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